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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be concerned about giving toddlers alcohol?

51 replies

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 16:34

i'm a non parent so would like the take of others on this. i was recently visiting friends and their 14mth old boy twins. they were giving them beer to taste - sometimes just a little on the finger and then actually whole gulpfuls. also allowing them to hold the bottle and drink from it themselves. the mum said it would help them to sleep. i couldn't help noticing the toddlers trying to make a beeline for the unattended bottles in order to get more (they were restricted in this) - and the parents were finding it funny and showing us as if something entertaining.

aibu to be seriously worried about this? perhaps it's just a total overeaction and infact there are a lot of people letting their toddlers have the occassional mouthful of booze.

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 09/02/2011 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblewrapped · 09/02/2011 16:37

my MIL used to dip DH's dummy in brandy to help him sleep

duchesse · 09/02/2011 16:38

Not unreasonable as such but possibly overreacting imo.

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2011 16:38

A sip of Daddys (or Mummys) beer I don't think would harm them, although they are very young.

But this sounds more than that, and I'd be particularly concerned about the mum using it to make them sleep, and unrestricted access.

Is she having problems coping at the min do you know?

jaffacake79 · 09/02/2011 16:39

WTF?! Seriously?!
And you didn't say anything at the time?

Heifer · 09/02/2011 16:41

I am totally surprised that a mother of 16 month old boys would be willing to share he alchol with anyone!!!

AMumInScotland · 09/02/2011 16:41

No, there aren't a lot of parents letting their toddlers gulp alcoholic drinks. Feel free to challenge them on it if it happens again.

A taste of beer (usually because you think they won't like it and will stop pestering) is not uncommon. More than that is very unusual.

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2011 16:42

Heifer speaks the truth

Original poster

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 16:42

agentzigzag - i think it is very stressful for them. they live in a tiny flat and have to all sleep in one room. the kids apparently wake a lot and the dad has early starts on a physically demanding job.

there wasn't any sign of not coping as such whilst we were there but it was only a visit of a couple of hours. when we first arrived i thought the kids looked woozy. it could have just been tiredness but it could equally have been slight inebriation. it was the helping them sleep comment that worried me too. i just didn't feel like i could really say anything as didn't want to misjudge the situation or appear rude or knowitall.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2011 16:47

Perhaps you could bring it up that it must be hell on earth difficult with the sleeping arrangements.

I'm not sure how people deal with two DC both waking each other up all the time.

Could you ask on the sleep/multiple births forums here, and perhaps pass on any advice to her on how to survive cope?

Ryoko · 09/02/2011 16:50

Take it you never had Gripe Water when you was growing up then?.

when my sister was a toddler she got hold of the whole bottle once and my mum found her drunk on the floor .

We all loved our Gripe Water, sadly it's not the same stuff anymore.

you be over reacting, IMO it's this countries increasing view that booze is a taboo subject that leads us to be the way we are no other country in Europe has drunken Tweenagers and they don't treat booze like a massive taboo, no coincidence there if you ask me.

BootyMum · 09/02/2011 16:52

Even a small amount of alcohol can cause severe alcohol poisoning in a child which can require hospitalisation...

Your friends are playing a very dangerous game with their children's health and lives.

Original poster

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 16:55

ryoko - neither parent is native to this country and one actually comes from a country where it is illegal...so i don't think you can blame british booze attitudes for this one.

my thoughts were won't the kids get a taste for it and as they are so tiny couldn't a tiny amount be the same as a larger amount for an adult?

thanks for your comments. it seems some think i'm overeacting whilst others think it's worrying.

OP posts:

TheVisitor · 09/02/2011 16:56

It's illegal to allow a child under the age of 5 to drink alcohol. They're being twats.

BusyMissIzzy · 09/02/2011 16:57

I'd be worried if it's something the parents are doing regularly.

ongakgak · 09/02/2011 16:59

thevisitor actually it has been raised to 8 as they're were too many 5 year olds vomiting in the street and trying bum fags off of passers by.

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 17:01

nothing wrong with it. I have given my 2.5 year old son a sip of larger and guess what, he hates it and wont go near dirty beer again. Result.

And one sip of beer will not give a small child alcohol poisoning.

toeragsnotriches · 09/02/2011 17:03

YANBU. No way booze for kids so so young. I don't think you're overreacting at all. I'd have been shocked too. I have friends who have done something similar and tried to give some to my two DSs. I absolutely refused. And didn't (and don't) care if they thought I was overreacting. It's just wrong.

Interestingly, their reaction was, 'Oh, come on, they're little lads.' So it's alright for boys but not girls then?

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 09/02/2011 17:03

I have heard what BootyMum has said. It was on a BreastFeeding course and we were talking about alcohol consumption and BFing. Apparently it HAS caused harm, although according to the anecdote we were given the mum was considerably over the limit (so begging the question HOW did she manage to fee in the first place). Apparently ALSO, a small baby (much younger than the toddlers mentioned admittedly), died after several people dipped their fingers into their drinks for the baby (was a party to celebrate baby). I think most of the party did this and sadly the baby died.

Of course, this could just be HP's scaremongering us!!!

I'd be concerned tho, those types of drinks are not ideal for children.

The sedation drug of choice when I was a child was Fenegen... unfortunately I THINK it sent my brother loopy!

Ryoko · 09/02/2011 17:03

if it's illegal how come teething gel still has it in?

toeragsnotriches · 09/02/2011 17:04

ongakgak

backwardpossom · 09/02/2011 17:05

I gave DS a sip of my beer in the hope he wouldn't like it so he'd stop pestering us... he made a funny face when he tasted it, but then wanted more and went nuts when we refused. Ah well...

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2011 17:06

I'd be surprised if anyone was OK giving toddlers unmeasured amounts of alcohol to get them to sleep.

Older DC is an opinon grey area, but DC who are basically babies??

What could their argument for it being OK be?

AgentZigzag · 09/02/2011 17:08

I didn't mean it's just a matter of opinion of whether to give older DC a bevvy to get them off to sleep

Original poster

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 17:10

@MrSPoc - it wasn't just one sip it was a few. And at one point the mum was actually pouring the stuff down the little boys throat like it was juice. Maybe they wouldn't get alcohol poisoning but surely it can't be good for a child to even be tipsy? and for it to help you sleep you'd need enough to get that tipsy feeling.

I think if I see it again I should say something. Just not sure how to go about it without offending. Maybe they aren't aware of the risks?

OP posts:

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