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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you bring wine to a party

40 replies

gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:05

it's very immature to hide it in your room until you want to drink it?

Had my DD's christening on Saturday and MIL came over for it so stayed with us. We spent a fair bit of money on alcohol, and what we thought were nice wines (in our price range - not cheapo but not mega expensive either). MIL is a bit of a wine snob so we chose carefully (DH likes his wine too) and thought we would be ok.

Fastforward to me changing DD upstairs and I banged into MIL coming out of her room with a bottle of wine in her hand. Thought nothing of it at the time. Then my sister asked why she kept bringing wine down from upstairs. I was a bit Hmm but said nothing.

Then Sunday DH mentioned to me that MIL had brought her own wine, and kept going upstairs to get it. And to rub salt into the wound when she ran out of her wine said to DH - "I suppose I'll have to start on your wine now"

If she had said this to me, or if I had realised what exactly was happening at the time I don't know if I would have been able to say nothing and just let it slide?

So AIBU to think this was silly, immature and frankly quite rude behaviour?

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 07/02/2011 22:09

It's very 'un-classy', leave it at that

Grumpla · 07/02/2011 22:10

Amazing!

Next time she rocks up at your house make sure she sits down at the table to an empty place. Then explain to her that she will find her (empty) plate, cutlery and glass upstairs in the spare room, and perhaps she'd feel more comfortable staying there until you've all finished eating and drinking your inferior food downstairs together.

ceebs05 · 07/02/2011 22:12

I agree it's rude and I would find it very strange and anti social if someone did this in my house

Catsmamma · 07/02/2011 22:13

oh that's soooooo rude!!

Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:15

Grumpla Grin

I would love to call her out on it but DH not too keen on that. I was just amazed as I would never have thought she would do something like that. She is generally lovely and very generous, loves DD and is a great granny.

I suppose it just shocked me and wondered if I was being a bit precious as I love hosting people and would never want them to feel they had to provide their own food/drink in my house.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2011 22:15

Was it definitely about the price of the wine or does she have a drinking problem?

clairefromsteps · 07/02/2011 22:19

What extraordinary behaviour. Surely if you go to a party and don't like the wine they're serving, you drink something else. Or you bring some wine, but put it out with the rest in the kitchen.

Maybe next time you go to her house for dinner, you should bring a packet of sandwiches and go and eat them in her spare room. If she calls you on it, you can just say 'Oh, sorry, I thought this was what we were doing now!'

Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:19

{grin} SPB - No she hasn't got a drinking problem :-) The wine she brought was of an earlier vintage than ours and can't remember the name but my BIL was very impressed with the label so must have been good. (I seem to be surrounded by wine snobs - I myself prefer a good G&T)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2011 22:20

so did she bring it down? How did you and BIL see it?

Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:21

clairefromsteps the thing is she didn't know what wine we were serving so I presume from previous visits decided we weren't going to meet her expectations Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:22

Oh yes SPB she brought it out of her room, several people remarked on the wine being brought from upstairs - but she drank it herself.

OP posts:
kittya · 07/02/2011 22:23

Those bloody wine snobs!! Smile I wish I was more educated in wine, I should be Im such a wino. I just figure that if it costs more than a tenner it must be okay. How much per bottle do you reckon hers were? I wouldnt have a clue about vintages!1

I hate it when you take wine to a party that you have spent alot on and then the host takes it off you, puts it under the sink and then gives you their cheapo stuff!!

Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:27

kittya Grin I'd say she spent about £30 a bottle or so. Not 100% sure

In my house, any wine brought to a party is lumped in with the rest and people can pick whichever one they want to open -

OP posts:
parakeet · 07/02/2011 22:27

It is rude beyond belief, but she is obviously unaware of this fact as she didn't try to hide it. So:

Next time she comes to your house, give her an empty wine glass and say (perfectly pleasantly): "Do you want some of our wine or have you brought your own again?"

If she says she's brought her own, give her ANOTHER glass and say: "Ooh, I'd love to try some of that too please."

Then neck it as fast as you can and keep asking for top-ups.

HumphreyCobbler · 07/02/2011 22:30

That is shockingly rude.

Hullygully · 07/02/2011 22:32

rude rude rude.

When I were a lass I used ot have the odd Sun lunch at my boyfriend's parents. His dad always had a separate bottle of wine from the rest of us (including his wife)because we wouldn't appreciate the good stuff.

waffleanddaub · 07/02/2011 22:33

Is it possible that it was not so much the quality of the wine but she has a bit of a drinking problem and was topping up?

WinkyWinkola · 07/02/2011 22:33

Bizarre. Aren't people weird!?!?

kittya · 07/02/2011 22:35

They drank wine in Hull??? Wink Im only taking the p because thats my town too.

Seriously, though, that is such bad form. Is she usually so snobby?

Original poster
gonerogue · 07/02/2011 22:37

OMG Hully that's quite odd. Grin

She doesn't have a drinking problem I am very sure of this. We had so much alsohol in our house that we still have enough to keep us going for another few months now it's all over. Grin

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2011 22:37

Oh I see - I thought you meant she was topping up her glass in her room.
Though I still think drinking problem masked by snobbery

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2011 22:39

after all she did drink yours when pissed enough, so it obviously cut it as 'backup wine'

kittya · 07/02/2011 22:41

Okay, now Im showing my ignorance or lack of fine wine drinking!! Can you really tell the difference between a bottle of £12 wine against a £30 bottle?

Did you have alot of friends over? what was she thinking that they were freeloaders? Its very bizarre behaviour Hmm I would have to say something!!

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2011 22:43

you can if you do enough courses. If you choose not to, you live in blissful ignorance and can carry on spending a fiver on an enjoyable bottle of wine. Which is why I have never been tempted to do a wine tasting course.

MmeLindt · 07/02/2011 22:44

She is very rude. And very snobbish.

I am a bit of a wine snob but would never do this. And no one expects expensive wine at a party.