AIBU to think there is not a paedophile on every corner

[ChaoticAngelofAnarchy]

or in every swimming pool, or every park or every newsagents, supermarket etc etc and people need to stop being so paranoid.

Yes, the other thread prompted this (so sue me...I don't really care) but I've seen this paranoia in rl and on other threads and sometimes in posts on threads that are not about this.

Thank you Pan.

It is not the lone strangers that you should be looking at.Sadly if abuse is to happen,it will be invariably 'closer to home'.

Well, I'm all for dampening down hysteria, as it may contribute to awareness, but not to safety (a climate in which adults, particularly males are treated with suspicion and fear interacting normally or caringly with children doesn't decrease child abuse, IMO).

However, YABU, because there may indeed be a paedophile in any of these places. You have no idea who is a paedophile and if I was one, I would certainly go to places where there were children. However, my conclusion to this is to be sensibly vigilant, but that we are much safer the more that everyone participates in social and civic life, and I have no intention of keeping away from public places on the basis that a paedophile might be looking at my children.

I would be much more concerned there is a paedophile lurking in every chatroom, tbh.

BeerTricksPotter totally agree with your post.

It wasn't my intention to start any panic and I probably shouldn't have reacted the way I have done. I'm just fed up of the unfair way in which innocent lone males get treated.

Maybe I am nasty and reasonable I couldn't be bothered reading all the other thread and it's not just that thread I'm responding to but other attitudes (on forums and in rl) as well.

Despite my name I'm only human and I apologise if I've upset anyone.

Hi - no but it just makes you more safety conscious. I see what you're saying - but for people who have experienced this and yes, are more careful, why would you describe them as paranoid?

If you have been in that position, you are going to make sure you are not in that position again, by taking precautions and not trusting every stranger you come across.

I don't understand why that is a problem to some.

Ellina I was thinking more of some who haven't experienced abuse but still think that way iyswim.

NO yanbu as as some one who survived abuse I can tell you 'stranger danger' is a pile of shite - abusers are those you know and trust not random men in parks ffs

Oh and I am not paranoid as a result :) I bring my 3 girls up to be open and honest and to talk to me - and to own their bodies and be able to talk about their bodies and their 'private' parts openly - they know about sex, they know about their ownership of their bodies and they know I will believe them if they tell me things

You can't say stranger danger is nonsense, kids can never be too careful, and I day this as a person who's best friend was abused from age 5 to 11 by a.step brother.

say

it is though - when 85%+ of all abuse is NOT perpatrated by strangers :)

you have to empower your kids to trust themselves

strangers danger is a very damaging stance - it tell your kids none strangers are safe - they are NOT

As a sensible person i know there is not a potential kidnapper/child molester on every corner. I know that very very few children are just taken by strangers, but in my mind there is always the fact that i don't want my child to be one of the very few.

no one does nancy but facts show they are much much more likely to be hramed by some one YOU encourage them to trust not some man in the park

My circular pool confuses the fuck out of paedos tbf, they don't know where to lurk.

Do they all swim round the edge in a predatory fashion?

Just constantly circling. Stupid dizzy paedos.
Although some are crafty.

and obviously they are all strangers/lone MEN/and 'odd' looking

not a trusted babysiter o female, or normal looking person amongst them

YANBU

There probably is a paedophile on every corner - over the past 30 years as attitudes have changed and people been encouraged to report instead of hiding away it's become apparent that paedophiles aren't exactly rare.

However, hysteria about stranger danger would be the wrong response. As people have said, most abuse is carried out by people known to the child. The sensible way to keep your child as safe as possible is to follow Gordy's advice.

I think back to my own childhood in the 70s and 80s and it's quite striking how different things were. We were expected to avoid/ignore 'weird' people who would now be defined as child abusers. Certainly for e.g. the man whose house overlooked the local park and who used to stand in his sitting room wanking while children used the tennis court. Or the swimming 'instructor' who had turned his entire back garden into a swimming pool and sold private lessons - used to make us dive between his legs and it was strange how often you would get 'stuck' very briefly. Or the flashers who hung out on the public footpath around the edge of our school playing field, watching us play hockey in those stupid gym skirts and knickers.

YABU. I see a gross + unkempt man who is a paedophile going into the local family pub most days. He lives on a nearby estate full of single mums. While he was a patient on my ward he was arrested for child porn. He is disabled and old so people get drinks for him and chat to him. TBH i feel like saying something because parents in the pub let their kids run off to play - but then there could just as easily (and more dangerously) be a young, fit well-groomed guy sat watching the football who is also a paedo.
I know this cos my cousin was raped age 5 by a young married workman who was left alone in the house with her and took advantage. He threatened her but she bravely told so he was prosecuted.
Her childhood effectively ended that day. So it shows you have to be so careful.

Hi Op, but I don't get these threads. Are you saying you'd be perfectly happy for someone down the road you didn't know that well to babysit your dcs because the likelihood is high that they're not a paedophile?

Why on earth would you risk it?

It's irrelevant whether or not they're lurking on every corner.

But to me it's much like I don't take the risk in our area of walking home at 2am on a Saturday night/Sunday morning, I get a taxi.

I'd teach my DCs to be wary of people they don't know. It's not paranoid to me, it's common sense.

'Actually I think you would probably get quite a shock if you found out just how many lived in your vicinity'

You'd probably be more shocked at how many are abused by friends and family.

I don't leave my dc with strangers male or female (or didn't as they're now 16 & 18). I never have but not because I ever thought they were paedophiles. Maybe I'm a bad parent but I've never passed a lone male (or female) and thought 'maybe they're a paedophile'.

chaotic - dd's mum and I agreed to never leave dd in company of a bloke we don't know as well as could. I mentioned this on MN a few years ago and got roundly slagged off for it. IT wasn't hysteria, just being as careful as poss. in the circs.