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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

my family again

46 replies

vickster11 · 06/02/2011 23:59

This Sunday the family was going to get together for a family lunch. My family, sisters family, brothers family, and our parents.

Friday
I tell my sister I cant meet up between 2-3pm as my ds has his afternoon nap. Explain that he wont sleep in pram or car he likes his own bed. I said I can meet up before or after this time. Sister says I will call you on Saturday with times.

Saturday
9pm still no phone call. I send her a text is tomorrow happening?

10.45pm I finally get a reply the place is book, everyone is going to meet their. Its about a 40 minute drive. Meeting up at 2 eating around 2.30pm.The boys (my brothers kids are playing football till 1.30pm).

Im p off. I relp saying this is too late for us as ds has his nap so went will have to pull out.

Sunday
I get a reply at 10.30am are you coming around later?

I was so p off as I was looking forward to going out with everyone I didnt reply.

Seeing my parents tomorrow I dont want a fallout but I am angry. Shall I not bother visiting them.

Not sure what to say or do.

OP posts:

bubblewrapped · 07/02/2011 00:01

I think you are being a bit daft to be honest. You cannot revolve your whole life around a childs daytime sleeping patterns.

blinks · 07/02/2011 00:02

a tad precious to expect everyone to plan their lives around your kid's naps.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 07/02/2011 00:03

what bubble said. This is all a bit pfb isn't it?

TheButterflyCollector · 07/02/2011 00:03

Ditto Bubblewrapped.

Newgolddream · 07/02/2011 00:04

Whilst I understand routines are important, you cant live your life around set sleeping times.

Original poster

vickster11 · 07/02/2011 00:04

pfb??

what does that mean

OP posts:

Northernlurker · 07/02/2011 00:04

Your son sleeps from 2 and it's a forty minute drive so even if you'd eaten lunch at 12 you would only have been able to stay for a little over an hour. Your nephews and their parents would have missed you totally.

In a big family scenario everybody has to do a bit of give and take. In this case - how old is your son? Is he capable of actually staying awake in a car out of sheer will power? I've never yet met a child who can do that when tired. In a few years you will want them to work around his commitmments too.

Were you anxious about going for any other reason because I've got to be honest here - this all seems a bit of an over-reaction on your part.

You should definately go and see your parents tomorrow.

Pictish · 07/02/2011 00:05

Sorry mate but get a grip.

JingleMum · 07/02/2011 00:06

i see your point op...

personally i don't see why they couldn't have booked the table for 3.30pm?

i wouldn't be falling out with anyone but i would mention it, saying that next time would it be possible to accomadate your needs as you don't want to miss out.

EricNorthmansMistress · 07/02/2011 00:06

You wanted to arrange lunch to be finished by 1.30 or starting after 3? YABU. Your nephews were busy doing an actual activity (not sleeping!) til 1.30. 2-3 is normal sunday lunch time. Children can have naps at different times, he would probably have stayed up with the excitement and slept in the car on way home. You were being exceedingly precious.

Northernlurker · 07/02/2011 00:07

Jingle - 3.30 is too late for lunch for most people (and many pubs etc) Definately too late for the op's football playing nephews - and her own ds who would I assume have had to have lunch pre nap.

EricNorthmansMistress · 07/02/2011 00:07

Everyone to eat at 3.30pm??? You realise this was a lunch plan, right? How many adults, let alone children, eat lunch at 3.30-4pm?

Newgolddream · 07/02/2011 00:08

Even if the table was booked for 330pm that would still have been no good if the baby slept till 3, time to get them up and ready and in the car and then a 40 minute drive, would be 4pm ish, a bit late for lunch.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 07/02/2011 00:08

pfb = precious first born. By which I mean your life absolutely revolves around your son, he can do no wrong and must always be catered for first over and above anybody else. Hope that helps.

Northernlurker has it spot on I think.

BeerTricksPotter · 07/02/2011 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorticiaAddams · 07/02/2011 00:09

YABU and I wouldn't make arrangements around a nap time.

If he usually sleeps at 2pm then surely he would fall asleep on a 40 minutes journey not long before which should keep him going through the meal.

Pictish · 07/02/2011 00:10

Jinglemum - Maybe everyone thought 'sod having vickster's kid's nap dictate the entire day for everyone....let's just make it 2 like we said in the first place...silly moo'

But in the nicest possible way?

Go along tomorrow V - it will all be fine one way or another.

Original poster

vickster11 · 07/02/2011 00:10

ds is at the terrible two stage he wont sleep in a car seat no matter how tired he is. He wont sleep in a pram either.

If ds goes with a nap he will spend the rest of day crying so yes I do have to work around his naps. Which I explained to my sister in the phone call on Friday.

Im not over reacting you dont know my family.

OP posts:

bubblewrapped · 07/02/2011 00:11

Have you stopped having holidays too?

What would be the worst that could happen if junior missed his nap?

EricNorthmansMistress · 07/02/2011 00:13

On the basis of this OP you are overreacting. If there is other stuff then you can't expect us to take that into consideration if we don't know it. Sometimes it's hard to keep perspective when people are generally thoughtless but in this case, your DS was the only one of the party who couldn't meet at normal lunchtime so the party had to happen without him. Expecting your nephews to miss football or everyone to eat at 4pm is not reasonable.

MorticiaAddams · 07/02/2011 00:13

Im not over reacting you dont know my family

Why did you ask then?

Northernlurker · 07/02/2011 00:14

OP - what did you want your family to do? What timings etc?

Original poster

vickster11 · 07/02/2011 00:15

If he doesnt have a nap his miserable will have tantrums for about 4 hours. I end up shouting at him as my patience will wear off and we all end up being f miserable.

OP posts:

Pictish · 07/02/2011 00:15

You've already gone in the huff about this Vickster. That's fine and your prerogative. No, we don't know your family. How could we?

But seeing as you asked. Yabu.

EricNorthmansMistress · 07/02/2011 00:16

Then you should have declined the invite. Not reasonable to expect a lunch plan to be not at lunch time. Couldn't you have joined them after lunch?

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