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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My ex FIL seems to think that........

42 replies

Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 22:46

now my dd is starting nursery and I will have a few hours in the morning to myself, that time would be well spent going round my ex H flat to clean it and do his washing and ironing and he is NOT joking.

Me and H have been split for a year because he was a complete pig, though we are on okish terms now because we co-parent.

WFT?? I am furious and if he says it to me again I honestly think I might slap him. He is MCP of the highest order. I really hate that these kind of attitudes are around my dc as well, I have one of each.

I know IA N BU but I don't really know what to say back without losing it completely.

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 06/02/2011 22:48

Just laugh in his face.

Flisspaps · 06/02/2011 22:48

YANBU, it would seem the apple has not fallen far from the tree!

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 06/02/2011 22:48
Shock

is he of the age to be retired? suggest he does YOUR ironing!!

Original poster
Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 22:48

Honestly my blood boils at the thought of it!

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 06/02/2011 22:49

what a prat.

did fil not raise him to be a grown up?

Tortington · 06/02/2011 22:50

" perhaps if you have parented properly, he would be man enough to be able to do his own cleanng"

alicet · 06/02/2011 22:50

Why do you actually have to have anything to do with this obnoxious man? He can see your dc through your ex imho and you don't need to have amnything to do with him at all.

If he said that to me I would be laughing in his face and saying 'I don't effing think so!' or words to that effect. If he pushes it maybe something more direct like 'I don't know why you think I have so much time on my hands that I need to be doing housework for a man I am no longer married to I have enough to do looking after myself thanks'

GreenEyesandHam · 06/02/2011 22:50

Yep just laugh.

Start with the titter, move on to the 'ho ho ho's', clutch your stomach at the 'hee hee hee's', look like you might be starting to calm down a bit, then squeeze out some tears as you SNORT, and guffaw, and start slapping your thighr

saffy85 · 06/02/2011 22:51

YANBU obviously

I'd be inclined to ignore FIL (ie treat the clearly senile old goat with the contempt he deserves) and hammer home to your DC that FIL's attitude is not one to aspire too.

Failing that send FIL a pinny and a feather duster and tell him if he is that concerned your ex/his son is struggling with the domestic side of things he can help him. You're busy having a life.

GreenEyesandHam · 06/02/2011 22:51

*thighs

Of course

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 22:52

Just laugh at him

there is no other reaction that is appropriate here

why are still having these sorts of conversations with your ex FIL ?

MissBubbles · 06/02/2011 22:52

oh wow thats awful! what a pig! def def do not give in! if something happend to you, i.e some sort of serious illess where you had trouble getting things done for a while, would your xp help out ? would he hell, so why is your ex fil expecting you to ? as you havent mentioned it i assume he is not seriously ill or dying therefore you have no reason to do this.

if it was me i would have to ignore ex fil completely, or else i know me, i would come out with some not very nice language! lol

here have this from me Wine

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 06/02/2011 22:53

I would still be laughing...

I think 'You have to be fucking kidding don't you?' should do the job.

Why are you still having to deal with your FIL? Not having to is usually one of the perks of ditching the H or P!

Original poster
Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 22:56

Oh I am trying to be civilised. My dc really love their grandparents and ex H is a selfish t*at and probably would not facilitate contact as much as I do, it just wouldn't occur to him to, whereas I try to be really flexible so dc aren't too affected by the split.

He has said it to me and to ex a few times which ex repeats back to me with great amusement, ex does not think I should, obviously (hope so anyway Hmm) but likes to see my face, which obviously looks like Angry, whenever it is mentioned.

OP posts:
cees · 06/02/2011 22:58

YANUB, what kind of fool did Fil raise who can't clean his own home.

taintedpaint · 06/02/2011 23:00

OMG. I'm stunned.

I don't actually know what else to say.

I had no idea such morons existed.

Be glad you got out of that family!

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 23:00

you are not under any obligation to facilitate contact with a dickhead such as this

if dc are hearing this twattery, they would be better off wih no contact, tbh

Original poster
Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 23:01

Well he never so much as lifted a toilet brush in the 8 years we were together hopefully he will have stored up some energy to clean his own place.

After we split, a horrible, emotional, awful split, practically the first question his mother asked was "how is he managing to get his washing and ironing done?" Shock. I neither knew nor farkin cared!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 23:02

so why are still engaging with this crap ?

penelopestitsdropped · 06/02/2011 23:04

reply

"oh yes that would be a great idea. i could do with the extra cash"
"what extra cash"

"the money he would be paying me to be his housemaid obviously"

Original poster
Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 23:05

Like I said it makes things easier for the dc to keep regular contact with his family, who they are very close to, I am very good friends with his sisters as well who have been very supportive to me in the aftermath as they know what ex is like. I have no family nearby. I don't allow it to go unchallenged when he says stuff like that and he is not very bright so can easily forced to pipe down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shimmerysilverglitter · 06/02/2011 23:07

I suppose I am actually so angry because I see why ex is like he is because of these attitudes and it makes me feel sad and full of regret. I know the comment itself is beyond ridiculous.

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 06/02/2011 23:13

I'm sorry but no matter how great the DC think their GP's are, I wouldn't want them to be around people with that kind of attitude very often at all, else you'll have them growing up to think it's OK to treat you like that!!

TheButterflyCollector · 06/02/2011 23:13

Take the ass some reading material on senile dementia. If he doesn't want to read it I'm sure you could suggest where to put it. What a twat!

echt · 07/02/2011 07:46

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha----in his face.

Ad infinitum.