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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to sometimes really hate family get togethers or the thoughts of going to one!!

52 replies

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:24

I have some snobby cousins getting married this year and next. One is the Saturday before christmas this year and Save The Date cards have just been sent out in the form of Fridge Magnets which are if i have to say 'A FAB idea'

BUT said cousin is a snob, she was brought up a snob and still is a snob.

She lives in Chester with her Fiance, they live in the Penthouse of a apartment block and have good jobs (dont know what he does tbh but she is a Top Kitchen Designer)
Her mother (my auntie) is making the cake for the wedding.

Now everyone has to book a night at a hotel in the area of the wedding because its alot o travelling for most the family (112 miles to be precise)

My mum has booked her room, my other snobby auntie and snobby cousins have booked their rooms for the night.

I cant afford to book just yet as skint to the bone (i have about 78p in my purse until wednesday) DH started new job on 24th but has a month of training - he gets paid at end of month.
Apparently when he signed up for the job they said it was 6mthly contracts but they never finish you after 6months because they are always plenty of other aspects of the job to learn etc etc

Anyway just been speaking to DH about the up and coming wedding at christmas and DH said "if we cant afford it we cant go, we are not just dropping everything at the drop of a hat for your family"

which i do agree, (i mean this time last year half the family was up in ore and were all bitching at everyone and i was in the middle of it all, playing second fiddle) but since they all started talking you would think i was the one in the wrong in the argument that went on for 2 years :()

Anyway all the chat about wedding etc etc DH has said that we will go to the ceremony then drive back - its 112 mile there and back and i dont want to be driving for the sake of seeing someone say 'I Do' and then driving all way back because knowing my luck DH will have a few drinks when we get there and then i will end up having to stay sober and drive the whole way back - well its not happening. :(

Grrrrrrrrrr why do families have to piss me off so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:25

sorry went off topic with regards to the careers and penthouse flat but im pissed off! Sorry

OP posts:
Hardandsleazy · 06/02/2011 20:27

Don't go then - doesn't sound like you are that close .- I used to stress about it then realised that certain of my family just aren't worth worrying about.

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 20:27

YABU and a little bit bitter

why is it there fault you can;t afford to go?

I went to a friends wedding recently - 200 miles there and back in a day - it's doable

BeerTricksPotter · 06/02/2011 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

googietheegg · 06/02/2011 20:28

You don't need to stay in a hotel for a wedding only 112 miles away, but indeed neither do you need to attend at all. Can you reply that you are unable to commit this early given that your husband has just started a new job, but if you have to give them an answer you would have to say no.

Families eh!? I always try to get out of these type of events TBH, noone will miss you. See them another time.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:29

sorry also 112 miles there and 112 miles back!

OP posts:
Ladyofthehousespeaking · 06/02/2011 20:30

An hour and a half each way isn't bad at all..
Nowt wrong with living in Chester either!

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 20:31

there are cheaper hotels near Chester as well

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:32

I can't understand what anyone has done wrong here? They have invited you to their wedding. What did you think - that they would have it in your town so you wouldn't have to pay for overnight accommodation?

If you don't want to go then don't. Are you sure they are "snobby"? Or is it because they have a bit of money (which is obviously an issue to you....)?

YANBU about hating family get togethers but YABU at being pissed off at these people for daring to invite you to their wedding...

pjmama · 06/02/2011 20:32

Since you clearly don't like them anyway, save your money and don't go.

mrsgetonwithit · 06/02/2011 20:33

Why dont you book a cheap b and b about ten miles away?

Say your driving home and sneaky and little cheap night away in.

mrsgetonwithit · 06/02/2011 20:33

say your driving home and sneak a cheeky little cheap night away.

[thats what i meant to say lol]

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:34

Hmmm some good replies here but my family are soooooooo annoying, if i was to say with DHs job he cant go cos technically he cant have saturdays off in december so he may not be able to go anyway cos of work.

But my auntie (snobby cousin (who getting married christmas) mothers) was here yesterday and i said that i dont think id be going to the Hen Party which is on the 3rd December cos with it been so close to christmas PLUS its my 5th WEdding Anniversary on the 2nd and would love to book somewhere for the night with DH to celebrate as have never celebrated and then i said plus if i did go would people from XX (our town) be going in seperate cars (aunties/counsin sharing) and my auntie said oh i dont know its so far away but you can go with your sister (so that means my sister has to drive to where i live which is the complete OPPOSITE direction to the hen party which is in Manchester so that me and her can book a twin room to share each. But yet my other two cousins and two aunties leaving from my town can all share a car themselves. Hmmm - its abit like oh fuck off cheeky you only there throughout the argument last year!!!

:( im just mad because its caused an argment between me and DH

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 06/02/2011 20:35

So ... where should your cousin be getting married then, to suit you better?

toeragsnotriches · 06/02/2011 20:36

Grin at 'Top Kitchen Designer'!

They're having a laugh with the date, aren't they? Last Saturday before Xmas? Get real... The weekend before Xmas last year: the kids were ill; I had shopping still to do; DH was at work and the weather was shit.

We wouldn't have gone!

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:37

Thing is my family have to make a mountain out of mole hill and if you say you cant go 'my auntie will make damn fucking sure that you will be going and she will make sure that you go'

Even though i have had to ask my dad to have my children because 'NO KIDS AT ALL' Even my (single mum) sister has had to ask my dad to have her 1yr old who will be nearly 2 by the wedding because of the above rule but our single mum cousin is allowed to take her daughter who will be 2 because she is a single mum Confused - ermmm so is my sister but shes not allowed to take her son.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:37

i think i need a Wine but i ant got no Wine can someone give me some Wine please?

OP posts:
pjmama · 06/02/2011 20:37

I'm sure if your cousin knew what your really thought of her, she probably wouldn't want you there anyway.

Ragwort · 06/02/2011 20:38

Just send your regrets - no need for an explanation - just because you are invited to a wedding doesn't mean you have to attend.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:38

bibbitybobbityhat
My dad mentioned and other family members have mentioned that she could have at least get married in home town - mainly because the Minster in her home town is gorgeous Grin but thats dads and grandads for you. haha

OP posts:
mrsgetonwithit · 06/02/2011 20:39

No kids, there is your get out clause...........I dont go anywhere without my kids..

We are a family.

bubblewrapped · 06/02/2011 20:39

You do sound very immature and jealous. If you dont like them, dont go.

googietheegg · 06/02/2011 20:40

With the no children thing and the date and the fact that they sound like bullies, unless you say no now it will be crap all year. Just say no, no explanation. They will hassle you but if it's not this it'll be something else.

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:41

You are talking about something which is ten months away. Stop stressing about it, you don't have to make your mind up for aaaaaaggggggeeeees, surely?

(blimey I am SO glad I for married with only two guests if people get this worked up about large weddings)

BurnAfterReading · 06/02/2011 20:42

Start Saving..???
Book the Hotel, but dont pay until check out - is that not the way???

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