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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to sometimes really hate family get togethers or the thoughts of going to one!!

52 replies

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:24

I have some snobby cousins getting married this year and next. One is the Saturday before christmas this year and Save The Date cards have just been sent out in the form of Fridge Magnets which are if i have to say 'A FAB idea'

BUT said cousin is a snob, she was brought up a snob and still is a snob.

She lives in Chester with her Fiance, they live in the Penthouse of a apartment block and have good jobs (dont know what he does tbh but she is a Top Kitchen Designer)
Her mother (my auntie) is making the cake for the wedding.

Now everyone has to book a night at a hotel in the area of the wedding because its alot o travelling for most the family (112 miles to be precise)

My mum has booked her room, my other snobby auntie and snobby cousins have booked their rooms for the night.

I cant afford to book just yet as skint to the bone (i have about 78p in my purse until wednesday) DH started new job on 24th but has a month of training - he gets paid at end of month.
Apparently when he signed up for the job they said it was 6mthly contracts but they never finish you after 6months because they are always plenty of other aspects of the job to learn etc etc

Anyway just been speaking to DH about the up and coming wedding at christmas and DH said "if we cant afford it we cant go, we are not just dropping everything at the drop of a hat for your family"

which i do agree, (i mean this time last year half the family was up in ore and were all bitching at everyone and i was in the middle of it all, playing second fiddle) but since they all started talking you would think i was the one in the wrong in the argument that went on for 2 years :()

Anyway all the chat about wedding etc etc DH has said that we will go to the ceremony then drive back - its 112 mile there and back and i dont want to be driving for the sake of seeing someone say 'I Do' and then driving all way back because knowing my luck DH will have a few drinks when we get there and then i will end up having to stay sober and drive the whole way back - well its not happening. :(

Grrrrrrrrrr why do families have to piss me off so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:44

bubblewrapped im not jealous, im just fed up of my family saying jump and they expect every other member to say how fucking high.

thats what pisses me off. Also the auntie was mentioning that oooh its very rare to get married the saturday before christmas or infact get married at christmas, most people get married in the summer and she is also having burgandy and ivory - very rare for a christmas wedding because people normally choose red and green at christmas

Hmmmmm so the same month i got married 5 years ago and also the same colours i had - think my cousins has copied off me to be fair Wink

So no im not jealous im just annoyed at the oooh no one ever does this aspect of it when i did it 5 years ago.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/02/2011 20:45

I stayed in a lovely travel lodge in Chester!

If you can't go you can't go that's just life isn't it.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:46

bubblewrapped oh and i doooooooooooo like them but only when they are not bragging. They know that we live on the bones of our arse and struggle (specially in the last 6mths) but they still take the time to brag brag and brag again, even when they come here for coffee when they are over visiting mummy and daddy who incidentally are paying for the wedding and her sisters wedding in Disney World Florida next year which we are not going to.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 06/02/2011 20:46

Save the date fridge magnets sound awesome.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:48

TriallianAstra have to say its the only thing that i am impressed with at the moment about the wedding. haha

OP posts:
Ragwort · 06/02/2011 20:49

Do you think we ever get bridezillas on Mumsnet on one thread gushing about their fabulous wedding arrangements and their guests on another thread saying how much they hate the idea of having to attend the same wedding ? Grin.

strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:49

God you sound awful.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:52

strandednomore
Gee Thanks im having a moan AIBU for having a fucking moan!

OP posts:
strandednomore · 06/02/2011 20:53

You've been invited to a wedding. Why do you keep bitching about the people who have invited you? I don't understand what they have done so wrong? You just sound jealous of their money tbh.

InTheSunshine · 06/02/2011 20:54

Cheeky it's simple - don't go. You clearly are pissed off with the way it's been arranged, the time of year, the bride & grooms job, their apartment, the financial arrangements...oh I'm boring myself just listing everything you hate about this wedding that you. don't. need. to.go.to.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:55

Hmmm yeah well sometimes when your on the bones of your arse you dont need the hassle of family members rubbing that they have just spent £350 on a pair of fucking shoes aswell.

so i apologise to you personally for been so fucking nasty and unreasonable.

im in a mood and i shouldnt have i posted on AIBU - bad idea

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 20:57

its not the fact that im annoyed at the way the wedding is its the fact that its one rule for one and a rule for others with my cousins daughter going but my sisters son cant, the fact they are making out as if no one every gets married at christmas but yet i did it.

Oh and to make it worse i sent my cousin an email earlier on ans said i couldnt attend the hen do due to the date and she sent back oh why whats wrong with the date......

OP posts:
TarheelMama · 06/02/2011 20:58

YANBU to hate family get togethers

However, you sound bitter, resentful and jealous. I wonder if your family is really brag, brag, brag, OR if you are so resentful that that's all you hear?

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 21:00

no they are brag brag brag if you met them you would rather stick pins in your eyes. but maybe i am jealous, bitter, resentful, i just dont like having to drop things at the drop of a hat when they say so.

OP posts:
TarheelMama · 06/02/2011 21:04

Actually people who brag don't bother me but that's because I'm happy with my lot in life.

You don't have to drop everything because they say so. Do what you want, but with the knowledge that it may upset your family. If not upsetting them matters to you, then yes you'll have to compromise.

You have a choice.

fit2drop · 06/02/2011 21:14

Timetostartacheekydiet

I think most people who post on aibu know that they are, they just want it confirming that its understandable WHY they are BU.

To be fair , You know you are being unreasonable, It is not their fault you are having a bad time financially. They want Christmas time wedding , thats their choice, They are not stupid and probably realise that a lot of people will not be able to come at such a busy time of the year(hell they might even be banking on it!)

I'm not sure that its fair to be pissed of because they are excited and "showing off" a little about the plans etc. That's what people do at weddings and functions isnt it.
Allow the happy couple and the "family" to be happy and enjoy this special time, Just say for now you cannot make a final decision until you know how secure your hubby's job will be but that you understand if they need numbers you will have to reuse their kind invitation. Wish them well and ask for photos and promise to buy them a celebratory drink next time you can see them.

fit2drop · 06/02/2011 21:15

reuse = REFUSE Blush

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 21:16

its not the bragging as such (although it does p me off) but its the fact they are are making out as if no one has ever got married in December - even forgetting my wedding day.

OP posts:
fit2drop · 06/02/2011 21:17

oh and a ps, its hardly dropping things at the drop of a hat on their say so is it,

December IS 10 months away :)

saffy85 · 06/02/2011 21:19

God the last thing I'd wanna do the last saturday before christmas is attend anyone's wedding even my own!

I wouldn't go. What's the point if you're not gonna have a good time? You'll be miserable and the bride and rest of the family will be pissed off at you for no doubt having a face like a smacked arse all day.

I love the fridge magnet idea. Might tell my sister about that- she's getting married later this year.... Smile and make out it's my idea obviously Grin

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 21:19

i know but they are bugging us to book the hotel now. i ahve said i cant but yet they always drop it in conversation, 'you wont be able to get booked in anywhere blah blah blah'

OP posts:
fireblademum · 06/02/2011 21:27

the answer to booking nagging is just to say 'laterooms.com'

saffy85 · 06/02/2011 21:29

That would piss me off a bit too- but then I'm a bit (understatement) strapped for cash right now too and a bit behind on my bills (Janurary is a loooonnng month!) so paying for/booking a hotel room I wont need until December wouldn't be high on my list of priorities right now either tbh.

I do actually feel for you timetostart you sound fed up at being skint and stuff- totally understandable imo. It's a depressing time of year.

Original poster
TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 06/02/2011 22:20

saffy i been skint for 5 yrs :( i couldnt go to my other cousins wedding in march 08 because it was in barbados - although saying that i also gave birth on her wedding day too so that was the main reasoni couldnt go even if i did have the cash Grin

OP posts:
saffy85 · 06/02/2011 22:31

Yep know how you feel- money seems to run through my hands like water. I wouldn't go to this wedding on the grounds that these people seem to make you feel lousy about yourself/your life. Life is way to short for people like this imo.