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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to post on here for urgent replies

58 replies

ledkr · 05/02/2011 20:00

Hi i have until tomorrow to get some replies so here goes.
DD is 9 days and has a cleft palate,she was only home 2 days when she was re admitted with aspiration pneumonia.She is on iv antibiotics and being tube fed and is being treated for reflux too.She is very sleepy and started to cough up lots of flem today.
I have cried so much i just cant stop,dh is devastated it is our first baby together,and ddi aged 8 is so upset she wont even visit her.Have been at hospital every minute she has been in and dh is staying tonight as i am becoming ill with it all and bleeding is heavy and im not eating or sleeping.
I have had a quick look and many of you have experienced this,i just need a bit of advice and some mn reassurance.Will she be ok?
Please help.

OP posts:
WaddlingSheep · 05/02/2011 22:18

Oh Ledkr, I'm sorry things aren't so good for you ATM but D will be fine! Try and get some rest tonight, she's in safe hands in the hospital.

Sending you all big hugs!

altinkum · 05/02/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 05/02/2011 22:22

as everyone else has said best wishes to you all and I hope she is home soon.

You must look after yourself though and not feel guilty for doing so. When DS was 8 weeks old he was in hospital for 10 day seriously ill, I ended up making myself ill by not looking after myself (didn't leave the ward for 3 days, no proper food or sleep etc) until I broke down and one of the nurses pointed out that while he was in hospital he had all the staff looking after him, when he got home he would need his mummy to be fit and healthy. I went home that night (my mum stayed) and managed a few hours sleep and even that made everything so much easier to cope with.

x

Original poster
ledkr · 06/02/2011 09:05

Thanks all,i slept ok but woke with the same sense of dread you feel when baby sleeps thru first time.She has had a settled night snd i think dh feels more involved by staying.
I have to say that as a new childrens hospital i am horrified at the provision for parents,there isnt even a kettle to make a drink and food is given to bf Mums but not post natal,ive been there since she was 5 days and was fed at the discretions of staff but yesterday i had nothing sll dsy,the vending mschine sells choc and crisps and 70p max pax drinks and the nearest place i could eat is too far post section to walk to.
I will be complaining as soon as this is over.
At least now i can leave dh there some times so dd1 can get some Mum time.Just want to fast dont you?

OP posts:
janedoe25 · 06/02/2011 09:27

Oh Ledkr Im sorry to hear about E but as others have said she is in the best place. I hope you are ok too, sending some hugs to you. and speedy recovery vibes.

janedoe25 · 06/02/2011 09:28
  • sorry D not E!
slowangels1 · 06/02/2011 10:59

Oh Ledkr you poor thing. DD is in the best place being looked after by the experts. Try and look after yourself as not eating/drinking is not doing you any favours - can DH bring things in for you when he comes into hospital? I will be waiting for updates on how she goes and hope you manage to get the LO home with you again very soon. Big non mn-y hug.

abenstille · 06/02/2011 11:15

Ahh, just wanted to say to look after yourselves too. Try to look at it that while you are away from her relaxing/sleeping you are doing it for her benefit too-your sense of calm will hopefully be infectious. Sorry I dont have any advice on the a.p.
On a practical note, try to get hold of a relaxation cd to lose some tension.
Bumping for you.

cobbledtogether · 06/02/2011 11:51

ledkr My first DS spent his first week in the NICU due to a GBS infection. DS was my first and DH's second. I cried buckets too.

Days 3 and 4 were the worst as a) I got hit by the baby blues and b) that was when it finally sunk in that there was something really wrong.

I can remember it so well and it is truly awful as you feel like you have been cheated out of the new baby that everyone else has. Birth is meant to be joyous, but instead there you are, still in hospital with a poorly child. It felt so very unfair.

I'll keep and eye on this thread, but PM me if you want to as you will be going through the mill and I'll give you whatever support I can having been there.

Your baby is in the right place and will get the best treatment they can give. You need the support too, though. ((((((Bear))))) I'm thinking of you and family.

cobbledtogether · 06/02/2011 11:53

Angry about the food thing. The best the hosital I was at could do was offer you a sandwich to buy once a day. I think leaving postpartum mums with sick children without easy access to food is not good practice.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 06/02/2011 14:10

Glad to hear what the nurses said!

tholeon · 06/02/2011 15:17

hi yep it is not good enough about the food thing. The best hospital wards look after the whole family of sick children - particularly breast feeding new mums. But there are many that don't, and it makes bad things so much worse. Hang in there. You will get through this xx

Sirzy · 06/02/2011 18:48

I don't think its right to expect them to provide food but there should be a parents room with facilities to make a drink and some toast and warm up food.

I have never been fed on kids ward and wouldn't expect to be but they have a fantastic parents room so although I didn't eat great I did get to eat!

I can understand them feeding breast feeding mums but to start feeding others would be an unreasonable ask IMO.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 06/02/2011 19:09

How on earth are you supposed to cope with a sick child and the stress of living in a hospital if you have nothing to eat?

I have had this argument several times and I really do not understand those who think its unreasonable for NHS to provide meals for parents.

Paedatric wards would have to lose half their beds if the parents didnt stay with the kids.

MercyMe · 06/02/2011 19:27

Hi ledkr how are things today? Hope you're getting some rest. My dd was born with various health problems, and spent her first few weeks in hospital. She also had aspiration pneumonia due to choking, was your dd ventilated for this? Dd is absolutely fine now, was fine after a week in fact.

My heart goes out to you as I remember the shock of not only having an ill baby but being stuck in the hospital. I'm really shocked that you are not being given any food and the poor facilities, it's bloody expensive eating in hospital canteens the time.

I hope that you are all home soon xx

Original poster
ledkr · 07/02/2011 01:25

Thanks all, she is a bit better, the stuff 's coming off her chest now so lots of coughing, she was also very wakeful tonight which is an improvement.had lovely night last night and dh liked staying with her so will do again tmw.feel much better.
Can I Just say that the food issue was not why I posted but 't certainly won't help to get ill myself and no I don't ''expect'' to be fed but would appreciate kettle or microwave to warm up some soup! I cannot ''walk to the canteen'' as I have had a section and its miles away, went yesterday and felt terrible after. thanks for all other sensible and helpful advice. Will try and sleep now.

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 07/02/2011 01:30

It definitely sounds like she's improving :)

I hope you get some sleep tonight.

Make sure you look after yourself in all of this.

Big hugs to you all x

kayah · 07/02/2011 01:41

Good news she's feeling better :)

pastapestofor6 · 07/02/2011 02:35

Hi there, my son was born with a cleft of the hard and soft palate, he had aspiration pneumonia 3 times when very small , he is now 6 and has had 2 repair ops and is doing so well. Please feel free to email me if you want to talk. Are you using mead johnson bottles? There is a thickener called thick and easy that we also had prescribed to us . My email is minniebox at msn dot com. I would be happy to talk/advise you or just answer any questions

tadjennyp · 07/02/2011 02:57

Hi ledkr - I'm glad that baby D is feeling much better and you have had some rest. I am sorry you are going through this. Also that you are struggling post-section with getting any decent food.

I don't think it would take too much fund-raising for a hospital to buy a kettle, toaster and cheap microwave to help out parents staying on a paediatric ward, but that is not for you to think about now. Concentrate on getting enough rest and spending time with dd1 too. You are doing a brilliant job with your dcs so look after yourself too. Hugs.

OnEdge · 07/02/2011 04:09

Think it's good that she is coughing a lot, she will be loosening and then removing the phlegm. That's is get body sorting it out.

Original poster
ledkr · 07/02/2011 06:46

morning,lovely to wake up to these messages thanks. Saw a real improvement last night she was awake ages looking about and enjoying a cuddle, she is waking for feeds now and they have increased them now too. her cough was helped by a vapourIser.today I am going to bath her in her new tummy tub and salt team coming to0 advise on feeling, thanks girls x will update later and pasta I will def contact you

OP posts:
onceamai · 07/02/2011 07:05

Just read this but glad to hear it all seems to be moving in the right direction and you are feeling better. Make sure you look after yourself. Although it isn't ideal, if you get stuck for something to eat, you could always order a take away. It isn't right but do you have family or friends who could bring meals in for you when you are at the hospital.

MsKLo · 07/02/2011 07:45

Oh ledkr

I am so sorry you are all going through this. I was thinking about you the other day and wondered how you were. She is in the right place and being cared for by professionals who see these problems all the time and she will have turned a corner before you know it.

Lots of best wishes x

pastapestofor6 · 07/02/2011 08:47

Glad to hear little one is doing better, I had a c-section with my son too, we had to stay in for 9 days to get feeding established and for tests and scans, I remember being starving and in a lot of pain, not great so you have my total sympathy there!, feel free to contact me whenever you are ready x