Were we unreasonable?

[ReindeerBollocks]

DH and I got married on Thursday . We got married with just us and three friends (the witnesses). The reason we got married this way is because I am donating a kidney to DH in just under a month and we have only recently found out the operation date.

We were due to get married in September and we will be having a blessing on this date for all family and friends to celebrate our union.

We told our parents today and they are upset. DHs mum even cried when he told her.

I appreciate a wedding is a family occasion however given our circumstances we hoped people would understand and be happy to celebrate with us in September.

I can understand that they would be shocked and surprised but I thought that they would ultimately be happy for us given that we have a lot to get through in the next few months. I think my parents will be ok when the shock wears off but I have a feeling MIL will be angry about this for a very long time.

if your parents would be unreasonable and not really accept the day as you'd want to do it then YANBU to insist on the wedding you want. Your parents though are definitely NBU to be upset and they might have accepted you day if they had been given that chance. Only you know how reasonable your parents are.

Thank you to everyone who has wished us well.

We have apologised to MIL today and tried to get her excited about September. She does appreciate the reasons we did it, and is ultimately happy for us. We have talked it over and she understands that we hadn't intended to upset her and we weren't trying to be selfish in our actions but appreciate that by being thoughtless in our rush for our private wedding we have hurt MIL.

We are trying to put it right, and she has admitted that she was mainly getting wrapped up in having something to celebrate as there is a lot of awful things happening in her life at the moment.

Agnethafaltskog - I did care, hence posting this, however, I dont believe DH and I were being cruel in our actions. Misguided and wrapped up in an 'us' moment , but we didn't set out with the intention to hurt anyone, and we both thought given the circumstances that they would have understood.

Anyway, I do appreciate that whilst we were not wrong to marry in this way, we were wrong to not consider our parents, and we have well and truly learnt our lesson! thanks AIBU posters :)

Sound s like you have sorted everything out really nicely. Good on you, you lovely person.