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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DD to sort her own bed linen out?

41 replies

Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 13:49

I am changing the beds (something of an epic job anyway in my current condition!) so I am just washing whats on the beds and putting it straight back on. The girls have all the same sets so they wont notice and ds only ever wants his toy story set so no problem there. I normally rotate it for even wear.

DD1 is 13 and has some very funky linen, in the same range but different designs. She asked if she could have her other set on instead and I said no because I cant get the old one out of the airing cupboard and the clean one back in. It cant wait til DH gets home as he doesnt finish til midnight tonight.

She has had a right sulk on so I said fine, she could have it on if she irons the old one and puts it away and gets the new one out and makes the bed herself. She has now had a massive strop because its "really hard" to iron the duvet cover. I KNOW!!! Thats why I am taking the ones I am washing straight out of the dryer and onto the beds so they dont need ironing! I have to iron bed stuff as they only just all fit into our tiny airing cupboard and dont fit at all unironed.

So i have given her a choice, thats NU right?!

OP posts:
tigercametotea · 05/02/2011 13:51

You are not being unreasonable.

3littlefrogs · 05/02/2011 13:51

I am aghast that anyone irons duvet covers.

Butterbur · 05/02/2011 13:52

Nobody in our house irons duvet covers (or anything else for that matter. I strip the beds, and DCs have to put their own linen back on (DD, the youngest, is 13). I'm fed up of being everyone's skivvy.

3littlefrogs · 05/02/2011 13:53

My dcs did all their own washing and ironing from the age of 13. The question wouldn't arise in my house. Grin

bubblewrapped · 05/02/2011 13:53

Sorry, keep reading it but its confusing.

Have I got this right.

She wants the one that is in the airing cupboard ironed.

She doesnt want the one that isnt ironed, but has just been washed and needs ironing.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 13:53

I dont do it out of choice. As I said, I can just get everything in ironed, unironed it isnt flat enough and wont fit.

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 05/02/2011 13:55

Cant she just fold up the clean one and put it away. If it is just out of the dryer it cant really need ironing.

Or make it easy to iron, fold it, then iron it. (her I mean, not you)

charlieandlola · 05/02/2011 13:55

Why can't she get the one she wants out of the airing cupboard ? I hope she is not disabled and I have upset you by asking.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 13:56

bubble, sort of!

SHe wants the one in the airing cupboard that I cant get to with my bandy legs atm. And doesnt want the one that can be taken out of the dryer and straight onto the bed. If it (the one in the dryer) is to be put away it needs ironing otherwise it wont fit. In theory that doesnt need doing right now and could wait til DH gets home but as she is being awkward I think she should iron it and put it away otherwise that is another job for me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 13:57

She can, I cant, I have SPD at the moment and walking is an achievment!

OP posts:
radiohelen · 05/02/2011 13:57

YANBU - she is way old enough to sort her own duvet cover out if she has specific preferences. Didn't she see the gypsy girls on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? At 12 they are scrubbing floors and raising their siblings. Tell her to sort it herself or put up with what you put on the bed.
Oh and stop ironing the duvet covers dammit! Makes the rest of us look bad Wink

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 13:57

She just doesnt want to do it and seems to think that I am being a bitch because I am expecting her to do it! Well stuff that :o

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 05/02/2011 13:58

Sorry to labour the point - but I don't have an airing cupboard. Everyone keeps their bedlinen in their bedroom - either in an underbed storage box or a drawer. They deal with their own.

Take a step back, you have given her a reasonable choice, now disengage. She is 13 - you have years of potential strops ahead of you. Pick your battles.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 05/02/2011 13:58

YANBU bloody hell, at her age I was doing the bloody ironing!

You did the right thing agreeing with her that it's 'hard' & telling her that, that is exactly why this lot is going straight back on the bed!!

I LOVE ironed bed things and used to have a lady who did our ironing - it was BLISS. Now I have to do it myself I'm a little more selective! Grin If you don't put too much in the machine, do it on a slow spin, give it a damn good shake and hang it up straight, a lot of it looks OK not ironed - some still needs it if you don't want the beds to look like a dog has slept in it!!

bubblewrapped · 05/02/2011 13:59

At 13 she bloody should be helping you out if you are in pain and finding it difficult.

I think when your husband comes home, he has to point that out to her too... that instead of having a strop, she should be trying to make your life a bit easier, not harder.

Eglu · 05/02/2011 14:00

She is 13. If she wants it that much she can do it herself.

By 14 I did the ironing for the whole family. She is acting like a baby.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/02/2011 14:06

To be fair to her, she does help out. She got lunch today for everyone and on weekends will often say that she will take them down and get breakfast so I can stay in bed!

She really isnt a stroppy kid normally. But I have always done all the laundry myself, and it has never occured to ask for help so this has come as a bit of a shock to her!

I've left it up to her now, we shall see what happens. I heard the steps being moved, the airing door open and then shut, a big sigh and the steps being put back so I suspect she may have decided its too much like hard work :o

OP posts:
Batteryhuman · 05/02/2011 14:09

I wash the bedlinen but expect the DCs to strip the beds when asked and from about age 9 they were expected to remake the beds.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/02/2011 14:11

YANBU I was ironing at 13 and also srting out my own school uniforms, ensuring that what I needed for the next day was washed, ironed and laid out. My Mum was always at work...she showed me what to do and I did it. We all did.

Your DD needs to see it's time to help more now. She should als be helping in otheer ways around the house. As should the whole family.

purpleknittingmum · 05/02/2011 14:24

YANBU at all!

My daughter is 14 and for about 2 years has stripped and made up her own bed. I don't iron bedding, and no airing cupboard, all stored under our bed at the moment but will soon be getting some under bed storage for her (she used to have a cupboard in her room in our old home so she just did it all herself)

cakewench · 05/02/2011 14:48

YANBU, of course! I was doing my own laundry at 8 years old (in the US with a tumble dryer so ironing generally not needed) and was certainly having to change my own bed linens. It's not a hardship in the slightest. If a 13 year old needs her duvet ironed (which, lol at that, btw!) then she can do it herself.

valiumredhead · 05/02/2011 15:09

Good Lord, I was doing all my own ironing from the age of 12 and by 13 cooking the family meal once a week ( I KNOW that makes me sound old!)

This is the bit that I have a a problem with- ironing duvet covers errrrrrrrrr nope, Brain still not computing Wink

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/02/2011 15:45

Actually I was doing all the family cooking at 3 years old....I was driving my siblings to school too.

StarlightPrincess · 05/02/2011 15:45

I iron my duvet cover, and both my DC's. Blush I can't stand things being creased!

valiumredhead · 05/02/2011 15:48

wimple Grin

Isn't it crease free when it comes out of the drier starlight? I understand if it's not been in the drier and it's all creased and 'crunchy'