Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wwyd: taking family to africa?

59 replies

StataLover · 04/02/2011 19:17

if you had the opportunity to spend a couple of years living in not the nicest part of Africa, would you do it? Generous package means we could save £30k/year (current situation in UK = zero savings). The actual city we'd be living in is quite decent with good international schools and relatively safe - but country as a whole is a basketcase.

I'm thinking that if it's safe and there are good schools for the kids, £60k is a huge amount of money to be able to put aside in two years so worth it. Kids are primary school age so still young enough to move. DH is against it nagging I'm trying to gently persuade

WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
StataLover · 04/02/2011 19:20

BTW, dh's work are offering. There's plenty of voluntary work in my field so think it'd be good for my cv

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 04/02/2011 19:21

What country? How stable is that country in particular? How close it to the less stable areas?

Hassled · 04/02/2011 19:21

I'd do it. If the city itself is fine, then you'll be OK - a hell of an experience for the children. I had an expat childhood, some of which was in Zambia (this was a long long time ago) and I have some amazing memories of that time. To be honest if your DH is working and the DCs are at school the person most likely to be bored and homesick is you - but if you're up for it then go ahead. I'm quite envious.

Hassled · 04/02/2011 19:22

X post - you wouldn't be bored :)

Callisto · 04/02/2011 19:23

I'd do it. It will probably be the most fantastic experience for all of you and who knows where it may lead.

VivaLeBeaver · 04/02/2011 19:24

I'd go like a shot as long as basket case = poverty,etc. Not basket case = may tip into civil war.

SuchProspects · 04/02/2011 19:26

I lived abroad for a year when I was little (7). It was a fantastic experience, really formative. Broadened my outlook and made me much more confident in my approach to all sorts of things. If the city's reasonably safe I say go for it, even if you can't save £60k.

LemonDifficult · 04/02/2011 19:26

Go
Go
Go

KAZAMM · 04/02/2011 19:27

Another vote for doing it. Two years would fly by and it sounds like a great opportunity.

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 04/02/2011 19:33

Depends which country.

In principle I'd say go but there are countries which are so unstable that even if a specific city is okay I wouldn't. Also there are countries I'd think twice because of the need for security etc which would take most of tge freedom out of life.

DH and I have an agreed list of postings he would do alone and postings we'd consider as a family but only under certain circumstances.

curlymama · 04/02/2011 19:41

Depends what your dh's reasons are for not wanting to go, and how strongly he feels about them. I'd be up for it, but if my dh had good reasons for not going, I don't think it's the sort of thing people should be persuaded/pressured in to.

giveitago · 04/02/2011 19:41

Depends on country.

My ddad was offered two. One he rejected as it appeared he'd be the only person there with no entitlement to a gun.

The second country was much much poorer and he went for it - and spent 6 very happy but hardworking years there with his wife and then 4 year old daughter. His dd very happy at school. Step mum found it much harder.

No big deal if you're prepared for the situation of wherever you're heading.

Being there was a breeze compared to coming back with a 10 year old and trying to settle her in UK when she didn't remember her home country at all.

No big deal really. Well not there, just coming back.

Go - it sounds fine.

GloriaSmut · 04/02/2011 19:42

It really depends on the country. My dsd is currently posted to Africa and loves her job. But for all that, in the country she's been posted to she can't safely leave the house after dark on her own or travel anywhere without a driver and security staff. So she has very little personal freedom even though she has great colleagues in the compound who are all subject to the same restrictions. Every three months her employers insist that staff leave that particular country for a period of R & R somewhere rather less restrictive though and nobody does 2 years.

Which country is your dh's posting to?

fairtradefloozy · 04/02/2011 19:45

I am so Envy. Go for it.
But a word of caution about savings-please bear in mind that expat cost of living can be a bit scary in some places. Also, any chance of a reckie?

fairtradefloozy · 04/02/2011 19:45

I am so Envy. Go for it.
But a word of caution about savings-please bear in mind that expat cost of living can be a bit scary in some places. Also, any chance of a reckie?

Asteria · 04/02/2011 19:50

If there is a good Expat community then I would go for it whatever the country. My stepfather works in some pretty interesting places over the years (Bosnia, Gaza, Sudan, Nigeria and now back to Sudan) and has had the most amazing experiences.
Just get your DH to look outside the window (presuming that you are currently in the windswept UK) and ask him if he would like to spend some time wearing less than 5 layers to keep warm!

giveitago · 04/02/2011 19:53

Oh what the other posters said -you can save money in one respect but in other ways it's far more expensive to get your basics (depending on the country).

Yup - wouldn't take your dcs to a country that's about to embark on a civil war but once you've done your research you'll know where is viable for your circumstances.

Best of luck.

Oh and if anyone can't deal with idea of 'staff' or rank poverty (depending where) then forget it.

Original poster
StataLover · 04/02/2011 20:11

basketcase as in corruption, general violence, lack of facilities etc - except in the city where we'd be posted.

I went for lunch with dh's colleagues who are currently there this week. They were the ones who persuaded me this was worth doing as counrty's reputation means very few people are willing (also reason why you get additional payment - as well as adjustment for cost of living AND accommodation/utilities provided). They said the life was a blast for the kids - good expat community, good weather and constant whirl of parties/events for children. Bit more limited for adults.

DH just doesn't want Africa. He worries about things going wrong, kids getting ill, dealing with all the shit you need to deal with. I've spent time in Africa and work in development so I get what he's saying. I'd be up for it regardless of the money - but I also don't think we're in a position to turn down that kind of money either.

OP posts:
GloriaSmut · 04/02/2011 20:17

It's the DRC isn't it?

relish3 · 04/02/2011 20:17

hoping it is Ghana, as i heard there are good schools there and really stable, loads of beach and the teaching standard is good..it's a life's experience and the kids will really appreciate diverse cultures...i say go for it!

fairtradefloozy · 04/02/2011 20:26

Nigeria?

jasminetom · 04/02/2011 20:40

We went to Qatar for 2 years..I didn't want to go and promised I would count the days to leaving. 5 years on and I know, wherever I go next and for the rest of my life it will neve be England. The best thing I ever did.

Original poster
StataLover · 04/02/2011 20:47

Why jasmine?

I've lived abroad a lot in a few different countries but quite like England!

OP posts:
pranma · 04/02/2011 21:11

If it is Sierra Leone dont go-honestly I have lived there and know people who still do.I'll say more if it is there.

Northernlurker · 04/02/2011 21:15

I wouldn't go to Congo. What does the Foreign Office advise?