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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

wwyd: taking family to africa?

59 replies

StataLover · 04/02/2011 19:17

if you had the opportunity to spend a couple of years living in not the nicest part of Africa, would you do it? Generous package means we could save £30k/year (current situation in UK = zero savings). The actual city we'd be living in is quite decent with good international schools and relatively safe - but country as a whole is a basketcase.

I'm thinking that if it's safe and there are good schools for the kids, £60k is a huge amount of money to be able to put aside in two years so worth it. Kids are primary school age so still young enough to move. DH is against it nagging I'm trying to gently persuade

WWYD?

OP posts:
RiceBurner · 04/02/2011 23:30

Hi StataLover,

We took our 2 very small kids to West Africa (Gabon) for 2 yrs in 1990 & it was just fine. I got pregnant with DC3 while in posting, tho I had to Europe to give birth ... for our medical safety. Then we came straight back with DD aged only a few weeks.(She was 12 mths old when we left.)

We enjoyed the posting altho we had some small issues while there eg political unrest/illness/robbery/water shortages and so on. (Some problems ARE to be expected, as it was a hardship posting ... as is Nigeria. So we were not too surprised/shocked.)

However, we were v well looked after by DH's employer (a multi-national) ... ie they took care of most things eg moving in/out packing & costs, paid leave/flights, medical centre, primary school, visas, tax etc. THIS IS V IMPORTANT as I am not sure how well I would have coped if we had not had the company to look after us/back us up/get us out in an emergency.

While there are ppl who go to places such as Africa more or less on their own, I think u need to be more resourceful/brave ... or very experienced to do this?! (Most ppl go to 'hardship' locations with some sort of corporate backing.)

DH & I currently living in Nigeria atm, (in the delta), where he is working. Same sort of deal as before ... ie all is taken care of for us.

We have (free) company accommodation, transport, flights, security and security advice, medical care etc ... all this comes with his job. (Kids grown up now, all in UK, but they can come for visits if they want.)

FYI, we lived in Lagos for 2 yrs prior to coming here (2007-2009) and it was fine there too ... tho a bit more hectic, living in a mega city with more chance of robbery/road traffic accidents than here. (We currently live in a closed expat camp for our safety. Very peaceful/beautiful but not much to do.)

Whether u would enjoy/benefit from a posting to Abuja depends on many factors ... one of which is probably luck ... ie how things go for u when u arrive. (Luck is sthing u can't control of course.) The rest is down to research, planning and expectations.

Are u tough & adaptable? Can u manage without ur usual foods/brands of food? Can u put up with daily hassles? Can u make new friends easily? Or else can u entertain yourselves? Do u relish some excitement in life? Can u tolerate some chaos/inefficiency/risk? Have u been to a developing country before eg on holiday? If so, can u cope with seeing beggars and other sights of misery? Are u all physically & mentally able to cope?

If u think r are up to it as a family, and if u still want to go, u must be as sure as u can be what the deal/contract is ... ie what is included eg is accommodation free/provided or an allowance given? Are std facilties free? (Schools, school fees, medical care/insurance, car/driver, legal advice?) What seafreight can u take? (How many cubic metres?) And how much airfreight?

Best to bring as much as u can, as some stuff will he hard to source in Abuja and/or more expensive/less choice.

But, FYI, I don't know Abuja at all. So u will have to find out urself what sort of goods u can get there (& at what price) and what u shd bring if u can.

From what I have read, seems that Abuja is a lot better/safer than Lagos. So if Lagos is OK, Abuja must be quite good? Direct flights of 5-6hrs only to/from UK and 1 hr max time difference. Nice warm weather. Friendly locals.

There must be many expats currently living in Abuja to whom u could turn for more specific advice/help and possible friendship? (Brits and all kinds of other nationalities will be living there.)

Look online? Try here somewhere like this for info?

www.oyibosonline.com/sm2/index.php?topic=9127.0

Was that ur question posted in there?!

Nb Everything (eg accommodation, supermarket food, clothes, furniture, any services, visas, flights home, school fees, medical charges) will be seem v expensive, especially compared to local wages which are low, but hopefully u will have an expat salary to match these living costs? Plus a savings element on top?

Will u get a company car and driver? (Think this is quite important as cars are expensive and driving might not be easy. And public transport could be dodgey.)

In Lagos, we decided not to drive at all, so we rented a car & employed a local driver F/T as parking was near impossible & traffic jams regular and driving conditions not for the faint hearted. (Public transport not recommended.) Nb if u do have a road accident in Nigeria, u can quickly have probs if an angry mob forms around u. (At least that's how it is in Lagos, but Abuja might be a lot better/safer?)

To conclude, if u are fit enough and game enough for an adventure and u reckon the salary will be enough to live OK at local prices, and if also u can make the savings u expect on top, and if u also have a plan for survival after the posting, (ie u not worried about finding a UK job to come back to), then I would definitely say "GO"!!!

Lots of ppl go to Nigeria to work or volunteer for a few yrs and everyone I have talked to felt they had had a enjoyable & character building experience. (Even if a few 'bad' things happened.) And almost all were sad to leave!

Living in Nigeria will probably change ur life .... hopefully for the better. U will probably appreciate a lot more what we all take for granted in the UK ... if u haven't already been in a poor country and got to know what's it's like to be 'without'.

Hope this helps u to decide. Let us know what happens?

StataLover · 05/02/2011 00:03

Thanks for that RiceBurner

Plenty to think about.

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 05/02/2011 00:11

Oh I'm envious. Would love to go back to Africa. My heart is in Mali.

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 05/02/2011 09:00

Prsonally no. I interviewed for a job there and felt stifled - constant security, life in the compound and virtually nothing else and difficult to get away.

I was going out there as a governess though, so being able to get away from the parents/children was important. If you're the kind of person who can cope in a goldfish bowl then you might be okay!

The kidnap risk would worry me too.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 05/02/2011 09:06

I am currently living in Africa with my family. Not nigeria but somewhere where corruption and violence can be an issue. We are very happy here! Provided you have good health insurance and that the company will provide adequate security for you (we have full time guards and alarms connected to a security company who deploy within minutes), then you should be fine.

If you are planning on working though I'd suggest you check out the visa requirements. Where I am, spouses find it very hard to work as nationals get preferences for jobs.

I have friends who have lived in Abuja who have only good things to say about life there.

StataLover · 05/02/2011 19:19

Company have a good reputation and safety record regarding how they treat staff abroad. Also take care of spouses (i'd probably be able to arrange special leave from my job).

I'd like to do it but dh still not convinced. In any case, we couldn't move until the summer so I've time to gently persuade him!

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 05/02/2011 19:23

Depends which country, I am west African and If it were my home country I would do it in a heartbeat.

bambiandthumper · 05/02/2011 19:34

I lived in Zambia and Botswana when until we moved back to London when I was 7, but my family spent 12 years out there. When I say 'lived' it really means based, we were fairly nomadic and I spent a few months in Mali, Mozambique, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Sudan Hmm and Tanzania, oh and I was born in the Congo, so I would say I've had my fair share of developing countries.

However, I didn't spend any time in compounds as you would in Abuja, and some find that very very claustrophobic. I would also ensure that you have all your healthcare covered as anything other than private international hospitals are not worth it. You will also have to make sure you have decent security, as from what I gather the risk of kidnap is notable, so ensure you have access to drivers, also as driving in Africa is generally terrifying haphasard. It could also be wise to have a sort of 'get out' plan, just in case everything goes completely tits up. If you go out definitely make the most of travel while your in the area.

My siblings and I have the best childhood memories, and if the circumstances were right I would move out there again in a flash! Good luck!

Jonnyfan · 19/04/2011 21:37

StataLover I lived in Lagos for three years with two tiny babies; go for it!

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