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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU Ref Valentines

76 replies

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 13:14

to wonder what people are planning for valentines (and to rob ideas)

Im thinking going to La Tasca (16.00 3 course and glass of wine. bargain) then do something fun like bowling or crazy golf.

OP posts:

LeQueen · 04/02/2011 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 13:39

bloody hell, i asked here thinking that you lot being women could give me some decent romantic ideas. how wrong was i. you all fucked my idea up royally. lol cheers

OP posts:

mommmmyof2 · 04/02/2011 13:40

i have told dh to sort something, should be fun, proberly end up at macdonalds!

Greeninkmama · 04/02/2011 13:40

Best Valentine's night I ever had was with my gay friend and his boyfriend. We burst into our local bistro-restaurant (quite posh) laughing, to find it full of not-very-smiley, hushed-voicey couples. Waitress said she knew we were going to be trouble when we phoned to book a table for three. I would never ever go out for a meal with DH on Valentine's night - we would probably have a row!

TrillianAstra · 04/02/2011 13:43

I like to do something nice, have nice dinner, wine etc, because it's good to be reminded to do that every so often.

But out? Noooooo. I'd go out tonight, or next Wednesday, or something, Any day that's not the 14th!

mayorquimby · 04/02/2011 13:45

I hate V-Day and refuse to do anything for it.
Which means it will be the usual.
My GF getting upset because I stick by my word having told her weeks in advance that I hate Valentines and me feeling like a bit of a bastard because she's upset even though I was very clear on the issue weeks in advance and she'd said she was fine with it.
Oh and it's on a monday this year so also a bit of 5-a-side football.

Mapley · 04/02/2011 13:46

My dh has organised a baby sitter to have ds from lunchtime Monday to lunchtime Tuesday and I have no clue why! He knows I love surprises, so he's giving me one. I love that man. I'm so excited, the anticipation is a big turn in for me.

Nicest thing is that he personally really like surprises, or see the point of valentine's day. But he knows I do and wants to make me happy. And regardless of what the surprise is, that is the best valentine's present ever.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 04/02/2011 13:47

I once went out for dinner on a Monday night with a gay friend - we were both single and genuinely hadn't realised it was Valentines.

OMG it was rammed - literally about 6 inches between the tables so you had to almost rub your bum in other's dinner to get past.

It was hysterical actually, because everyone assumed we were a couple and the waiters kept trying to get my friend to buy me roses etc and couldn't understand why we were in fits when he politely declined.

Don't go out - stay at home and cook your wife something yummy.

DH is going to cook me risotto and my favourite pudding, with one glass of champagne (am 33 weeks pg).

trixie123 · 04/02/2011 13:47

agree with those that say restaurants are awful on the 14th. Have had many disastrous meals with limited menus, rushed kitchens, inconsiderate non-valentiney type people deliberately trying to ruin it for others. For a couple of years (until divorce)it was also my wedding anniversary (we had to for various reasons, get married on VD - I didn't want to). OP I would suggest a carpet picnic with lots of lovely finger food requiring minimum prep after the kids have gone to bed and lots of bubbly. (and maybe Sky+ this weeks episodes of OBEM and Glee)

mayorquimby · 04/02/2011 13:47

"the Sopranos box set (we've not seen a single episode!)"

I hate you.
The envy I feel of people who have never seen an episode of the Sopranos or The Wire but are about to start is unreal.
Thankfully I haven't seen an episode of the West Wing yet and I'm reliably informed that I'm in for a treat once I get going.

Mapley · 04/02/2011 13:49

Missed out doesn't. I meant my boyfriend doesn't like surprises.

And he's obviously a far better boyfriend than mayorquimbly.

If you love her, make her happy !

meantosay · 04/02/2011 13:49

What's an 'inconsiderate non valentiney type person'

Original poster

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 13:51

Mayor - since your misses will be expecting you not to do VD, why dont you suprise her? you would get extra brownie points i am sure.

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 04/02/2011 13:54

because I really can't abide by it.
It's like NYE all over again. Forced displays affection and doing stuff simply because you're told to. nigs to that.

Mapley · 04/02/2011 13:54

I hate the concept of "brownie points"

if you love someone you want to make them happy because you live them, not because it means you can get away with more.

mayorquimby · 04/02/2011 13:56

And chances are she won't be upset, that was more in jest to the first couple of years we were together when it was a crossed wires situation where she thought I was doing a "let's play this down so that when I show up unexpected wth flowers and dinner reservations it will be extra special".
She's come to accept it now I think.

Original poster

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 13:57

Mapley brownie points dont mean that to me, it means I show her my love and she is all smiles for longer.

Mayor - no one os forcing you to display affection - it is the thought that counts.

OP posts:

meantosay · 04/02/2011 13:57

I agree with mayor. Being told 'today is romantic day so you must do romantic things and buy flowers and chocolates'

well, it just isn't ... very.... romantic, really, ....is it?

Original poster

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 14:00

i think you just need to take it in the spirit it is given. just an excuse for the two of you to do something together.

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 04/02/2011 14:01

exactly. I do romantic stuff all year and constantly show affection. Don't see why I'm the bad guy because some other deadbeats decide to make an effort one day of the year.
If I happen to see my gf on V-day this year it's not like I'm going to be intentionally mean and not show affection to make a point. I just won't be saying happy valentines day when I do it or changing the way I treat her because others have decided that "this is the day to be romantic."
Anyway I've got assignments due that week and I play football on a monday so chances are I won't get to see her that day.

meantosay · 04/02/2011 14:01

I think it's actually an excuse for the shops to sell overpriced cards and chocolates and red roses and for restaurants to cash in.

nickelthenaughtybutnicefairy · 04/02/2011 14:03

I don't tend to do Valentine's - well, i never did with my ex, and he never surprised me either :(

haven't succumbed with DH yet, but it's only the 2nd one we'll have had, so I might...

Last year I made him a huge card - with holes all over it, that I threaded hanging hearts onto.

I think you should make her something.

Quenelle · 04/02/2011 14:06

Nothing. Don't like Valentine's Day. Every year I tell DH not to bother and this year he agrees. Hmm perhaps I should be worried actually

meantosay · 04/02/2011 14:06

He'll probably get a big huge bunch of flowers sent to you in work Quenelle. .

rookiemater · 04/02/2011 14:07

I hate going out on Valentines night, no special offers on, hundreds of couples staring balefully at each other wondering what the hell to talk about.
Last year I bought the M&S special meal for 2 at £20.00, had some fizz, scallop starter, something nice for main and a box of chocolates.

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