To think this was controlling and petty?

[JaneS]

My parents are coming down to visit me tomorrow. They wanted to go to a particular restaurant, and when I booked it just now they only had tables free at 6.30 or 9pm, so I went with 6.30. I do know my parents usually eat more like 7.30/8, but my mum would be starving hungry by 9 so it seemed the better option.

She is now furious that I booked at a time that's 'not dinner time' and insists she won't be hungry then, will not want to eat and I've 'spoilt' their meal. I figure we can just go, order some drinks and eat slowly - it'll easily be more like 7 by the time we get starters, at the very earliest.

I admit that when I saw my parents more often, I would have remembered what time mum likes to eat and automatically deferred to that, but I'd forgotten and didn't think it was important.

Is it me, or is this a totally ridiculous thing to get upset about?

I manage to have a sense of humour about it, most of the time. sometimes i deliberately tell them 'ooh we had dinner at xxx time' cos i know it'll cause great consternation. my mum once complained that she didn't know when to phone cos she could never tell when we'd be eating (phone calls during meal times are not allowed, of course).

dd was about 4 months old, so i wasn't always sure when we'd be free. but, of course, there are Meal Times (4 pm tea, 7 pm dinner)and Phone Call Times (6 pm), and Too Late to Ring times (after 9 pm), and Family Times (Sun am)etc.

Can you tell that BOTH my parents went to boarding school & have never really got over the whole life-as-a-timetable thing?

Sounds like you could schedule things so they never called you if you wanted to...

they're quite nice most of the time, just don't try to change their normal routine, or their brains seize up.

i only recently found out that if my dad wakes up earlier than the alarm is set for, he stays in bed til the alarm does go, as it isn't 'time' to get up yet. but as soon as the alarm sounds, up he gets, so it's not that he wants a nice lie in, he just doesn't let himself get up early!

he is just as regimented in his toilet habits, which causes great hilarity amongst the rest of us. there are certain 'trips' that have to be done downstairs, and others upstairs, at the right times, of course. he refuses to contemplate moving into a bungalow, and dsis & i are sure it's cos he wouldn't know where to go for his 'downstairs' and 'upstairs' toilet visits.

sorry, op, i've taken over your thread, but i can really empathise with you about your mother!

How did it go?