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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I might be being unreasonable

91 replies

Catnao · 03/02/2011 18:15

Kid has been to our house for tea. Declined to eat said tea because he didn't like it. Told his mum on pick up he had not had tea becausE wouldn't eat the tea. She said "Well did you not make him something else?". No. I didn't because there was nothing wrong with the meal and he has eaten the same thing here before (SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE). AIBU?

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cakeywakey · 03/02/2011 22:53

Sounds heavenly - can me and proton come for tea? I'll even wash up!

Pigeonstreetrocks · 03/02/2011 22:55

Ya so nbu! My dd has a friend that won't eat ANYTH
ING I cook - whether she normally eats it or not. She asks for olives instead. Um - "no", quite frankly.

alicet · 04/02/2011 00:48

tomhardy I just totally pmsl at your story! Grin

OP YANBU, the other mum was being very rude imho. Like others on the thread I always ask if there is anything their chid doesn't like and suggest a couple of things I might make. But if I knew they liked it and just chose not to then I wouldn't offer them anything else and wouldn't expect my child to be offered anything else in the opposite situation either.

gapbear · 04/02/2011 06:56

YANBU, Catnao.

If he's eaten it before, he can eat it again. Ungrateful bugger :)

gorionine · 04/02/2011 07:17

I do not think YABU but I must say the few times it happened at mine (play friend who does not like my food) I made toasts or eggs for them as I would have felt back to send them back home 'empty'. I do tell the mum they did not eat much though and might still be hungry.

These blips are compensated by Ds2's friend who liked my food so much he invited himself every evening for tea! He was a few years older than Ds though and they went separate ways when he started high school. Shame I loved having someone saying how well cooked!

I remember a little boy who said before coming that he liked macaroni cheese so that is what I did. He had a couple of spoons and said " It's OK but my mum's one is much much better!" Made me realise that until there is a universal recipe for everything (and I hope that will NEVER happen) it is possible for a child to eat everything he is offered at home but not outside. The dish might have the same name, does not mean it tastes the same IYSWIM.

Different for you OP as the child seem to have liked it at yours the first time.

mummytime · 04/02/2011 07:22

YANBU my own very fussy eater has always done her best to eat whatever she has been given when out. This includes eating Quiche, which I was amazed at.
The mother seems a bit rude, but maybe she was under stress.

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:33

Same kid, same meal tonight - it's "yummy" apparently! Confused

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Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:35

Oh - and i offered an alternative tonight - the "disguting" meal was the preferred option!

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Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:38

Typos, sorry!

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NancyDrewHasaClue · 04/02/2011 19:38

YANBU - she was rude but I would have given him something else.

Not a proper meal but cheese on toast or similar - I'd feel terrible about sending home a child unfed (even if they were being impolite).

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:45

HE ATE IT TONIGHT and said it was "YUMMY" !!!!

And breathe....

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gapbear · 04/02/2011 19:46

pmsl.

Not really, but I am laughing.

MadameCastafiore · 04/02/2011 19:49

God this sort of thing really pisses me off.

One of DDs friends came round after asking for pizza, dished her up lovely pizza express pizza and she told me that wasn;t the pizza she liked, at home they only had the blue stripe pizza from Tesco (ha ha and her mother is such a snob I nearly choked!), so she has scrambled egg on toast which was wrong as egg was too yellow and toast wasn't white with no crusts.

She got nothing, mind you I have made a child eat a green bean before and then got yelled out by her mother and told that she doesn't eat fruit and veg!!!

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:50

Fuck off TC! (I am laughing too!) cxx

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Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 19:50

That was to gapbear by the way!

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slartybartfast · 04/02/2011 19:57

very funny tomhardy.

we call it rubbish food, but must remember to be more careful now. Grin

GloriaSmut · 04/02/2011 19:59

If a child has eaten a particular meal at your house before, then you can't be expected to know that suddenly, spaghetti bolognese is the Devil's Own Supper. If I'd been the mother of the visiting fusspot child I would have been embarrassed to discover he'd made such a palaver over eating what was offered. Certainly I cannot imagine getting stroppy and demanding alternatives! What are people like, eh?

makemineapinot · 04/02/2011 20:02

One of Dds friends came home for tea one night and sat and quietly cried and cried and cried at the table and refused to eat. Wouldn't tell me why and begged to go home. Phoned mum, mum turned up, I explained what had happened and mum laughed and said "oh XXXX doesn't like fruit or veg - in fact she makes herself sick if she sees them!"
Hmm would have been nice to have been told - especially after I checked with the little darling who told me she liked peas and carrots (even gave the raw/cooked option for the carrots).

Another of DD's friends - dd of Alpha Mum ("my dd only eats fresh organic home weaved meals etc etc etc" preaching type of mother) cam e for tea and Alpha Mum had to admit that lentil loving dd actually only ate... fidsh fingers, oven chips and beans - she would sometimes eat sweetcorn but it had to be tinned and not frozen!! My how she blushed!!! Grin

Glad the little -shit- darling liked the 'disgusting' spag bol tonight OP!!

Friday night....Wine

makemineapinot · 04/02/2011 20:02

aarg I can never cross out!!

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 20:07

Wine opened and awaiting pick up so can tell mummy how much he liked his tea!!

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Shimmerysilverglitter · 04/02/2011 20:11

I would have offered something else, like a sandwich or something, not cooked another meal.

I would hate to think MY child had gone hungry if the situation were reversed. Mind you he has ASD and tends to go to total meltdown when hungry so it really would have been in her best interests to rustle up a little something else!

GloriaSmut · 04/02/2011 20:16

The OP isn't running a cafe though. And if it is so important that this child eats at a certain time then the parents should have told her. Otherwise it's quite unreasonable to expect some sort of fucking menu to be presented lest he goes home very slightly peckish.

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 20:18

This one does not have ASD but does have a toothbrush round our house as he stays so often - might ask his mum next time if I can formally adopt him so as to get the child benefit....To be fair to his mum, she did laugh tonight and say "he's such a silly sod isn't he?" - she has seven kids so might have been stressed first time round!

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undercovamutha · 04/02/2011 20:20

The kids mother is beyond rude.

If I'd been her I would have said 'really sorry he didn't eat anything, no problem, I will give him some toast when he gets home'

Original poster
Catnao · 04/02/2011 20:25

His mum is usually perfectly normal and was tonight - maybe the other time she was feeling stressed? (Some of her kids can be a bit challenging).

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