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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I might be being unreasonable

91 replies

Catnao · 03/02/2011 18:15

Kid has been to our house for tea. Declined to eat said tea because he didn't like it. Told his mum on pick up he had not had tea becausE wouldn't eat the tea. She said "Well did you not make him something else?". No. I didn't because there was nothing wrong with the meal and he has eaten the same thing here before (SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE). AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 18:52

Pop on round proton - I can have it ready for you in a heartbeat! Wink

OP posts:
PlanetEarth · 03/02/2011 18:54

I ask first what child guests will eat (usually start with a couple of choices, sometimes work up from there). But even they they don't always eat what I've made - maybe I've chopped the carrots differently, or used a different pasta shape, and they turn their noses up at it.

proton · 03/02/2011 19:01

tbh i don't like having kids round to eat a meal. when i grew up if i went round to a friends after school we/i never had a cooked meal, i had supper at home later that evening but instead would have 'high' tea of i don't know, sarni's, crisps, biscuits, lovely! a while back now dd had a friend round after school, i had asked the mother if her dd would like to come for tea. when her mother collected her the kid complained to the mother that i didn't cook for the kid despite the child seeming quite happy at the time tucking into loads of tuna/mayo etc sandwiches. it turned out the mother referred to supper as tea and i didn't realise, we really laughed about it, i felt like a right middle class twat actually, but there you go

Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 19:04

Now to me, supper is the milk and biscuits before bed... Wink and tea is dinner and dinner is lunch...

I think we all agree on breakfast though!

OP posts:
yestheyareallmine · 03/02/2011 19:05

I have always asked the parent before the playdate if their dc likes (what ever we are having) its part of the is s/he allergic to anything conversation. That way if they then won't eat it i have no need to feel bad about giving them bread and butter.

Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 19:06

He's eaten spag bol at least three times here!

OP posts:
warthog · 03/02/2011 19:09

i remember going round to a friend's house and her mum was cooking sardines. with lots of bones in. i whispered to friend that i didn't like those and friend told her mum. mum said too bad and i ate the sardines. hated them.

but that was the last time i made a fuss at a friends'.

spag bol? what a breeze - he's a spoilt kid.

cakeywakey · 03/02/2011 19:09

Maybe he's bored of it OP Wink

proton · 03/02/2011 19:12

catnao - funny isn't it, what about brunch!!?

Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 19:13

Maybe he is cakeywakey - next time it's going to be pigs' trotters with a side order of caviar....Wink

OP posts:
grottielottie · 03/02/2011 19:23

Yanbu in the slightest, what did you reply to her?

Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 19:49

Well to be honest I was a bit apologetic! Like "Well I'm sorry, but I really didn't have anything else"

OP posts:
tomhardyismydh · 03/02/2011 20:01

my dd had tea at a friend from schools house and I told them she wasnt fussy. the mum did a fairky child friendly dinner hot dogs chips beans. In my house this type of dinner is called "crap", ie along the lines of "you cant just eat crap all the time" Grin however my dd does prefer a home cooked meal.

So when I collected her and Mum told me she didnt eat, I said no worries. and dd piped "up I didnt eat it coz it was just crap" Blush

I think you were right not to cook anything else.

LadyOfTheManor · 03/02/2011 20:02

YANBU. Eat what's put in front of you or go hungry, that's our motto!

mumbar · 03/02/2011 20:13

YANBU as you knew he liked it and had eaten it before. I wouldn't force a child to eat something they genuinely didn't like - or cook it for them. And I'm a no main - no pudding mum.

My DS had spag bol (ready meal Blush) tonight - he loves it. He's available for playdates if you'd like. Grin

PlanetEarth · 03/02/2011 20:16

Oh dear, Tomhardy, how embarrassing!

Original poster
Catnao · 03/02/2011 20:29

Send yours round mine, mumbar, I have lots left over... Wink

OP posts:
mumbar · 03/02/2011 21:27

I've only 1 DS. He eats enough for 3 though Grin

Rhadegunde · 03/02/2011 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/02/2011 21:41

I share a nanny and the boy of the other family spends one day a week after school at my house. Other day he gave feedback that we didn't have enough snacks and was not satisfied with our snack offering! Grin

BTW he spends ONE DAY a week here between 4pm and 6pm during which time he has an evening meal and pudding so I can't see what the issue is with snacks.

Bless him. Grin

steppemum · 03/02/2011 21:50

I think she was rude. If my dc didn't eat at a friend's house, I would apologise to the mum who had cooked the meal!

But I would ask what they will eat before they come round (as op obviously did)

In my house you eat what is on the table, but, there are some things I know that my dc's really don't like, eg ds really really hates couscous, so I do a bit of rice or potato for him. But he is also not keen on Indonesian fried rice which we have quite often, not keen, but will eat, so he has to eat it (but we get lovely prawn crackers to help it go down!)

cakeywakey · 03/02/2011 22:01

Do you have snack shame now Tondelayo Grin

What is Indonesian fried rice Steppemum? Sounds up my street!

steppemum · 03/02/2011 22:28

it is like fried rice deluxe , has loads of stuff in. The spices come in a packet from Holland (that is why I married dh - he is dutch and they sell loads of yummy indonesian spices in Holland!)

steppemum · 03/02/2011 22:29

That's my food cred down the pan then, packet spices and prawn crackers...tut.tut.tut

proton · 03/02/2011 22:43

steppemum - sounds good to me!

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