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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my reason for sickness should be confidential?

50 replies

Shakirasma · 03/02/2011 08:35

After struggling for months with all life is throwing at me, I finally rang in sick on Monday and went to the doctor before I crack up completely.

She was lovely, we had a good chat and she signed me off work with stress for a fortnight.

I had a message through Facebook yesterday from an ex colleague saying she hoped I get well soon, she had seen I was I'll on Facebook.

I thought that was very sweet of her, then I realized I had not been on fb for ages! I wondered who on earth had mentioned me being sick.

So I did a bit of browsing and it was my manager! In a convo with another store manager he had put "now my admin lady has gone off sick with stress lol"

People judge stress in a negative, often skeptical light. AIBU to be angry that he has told the world, on his open profile, what my illness is? Clearly I am identifiable from his comment as the message I received proves!

OP posts:

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 03/02/2011 08:37

but you have not been named so I guess you will be told to stop being silly

but I know how you feel

facebook is great for me to keep in touch with my little moonpie but after that its gets fucking scary at times

LadyBiscuit · 03/02/2011 08:38

That is a real breach of confidentiality for him to be talking about his employees in any way on facebook.

I would be furious. Depends on whether you like him or not - you could either talk to him or take it to HR.

NorbertDentressangle · 03/02/2011 08:40

YADNBU -that is appalling that a manager disclosed your reasons at all, let alone on fb.

A word in someones ear in HR should get it dealt with.

Flisspaps · 03/02/2011 08:40

I would ring HR and complain. Putting that you are off sick is one thing, putting the actual illness is another.

pozzled · 03/02/2011 08:42

I would also ring HR and complain. Very inappropriate to make a comment like that when the person is identifiable.

ChinaCup · 03/02/2011 08:43

Your manager put on FB that you are off with stress? Bloody hell! YANBU.

octopusinabox · 03/02/2011 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onceamai · 03/02/2011 08:51

If you were to ring me, I'd say he hasn't named you but I would take it seriously and with your permission have a word with his manager about his professionalism and ask for standards to be set regarding professionalism and discussing his staff on an open forum. Without putting your name, I'm not sure this would have sufficient clout to constitute formal disciplinary action.

zikes · 03/02/2011 09:04

YANBU

IWantAnotherBaby · 03/02/2011 09:06

YANBU. People have lost their jobs for Facebook indiscretions like this.

dessen · 03/02/2011 09:07

yanbu. Would have a word with management at your work. Facebook isn't the place for comments like this

FabbyChic · 03/02/2011 09:09

Stress is a killer to be honest, and your reasons for being sick should not be bandied about the internet for all to see.

It is confidential between you and your employer.

I had a nervous breakdown at work due to work stress. Thirteen years of 12 hour days raising two children does that.

I'd hate to think that when someone rang they were told I was off as I had had a stress breakdown due to work.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/02/2011 09:11

It's the "lol" that would really get up my nose. What's so bloody funny about being so stressed you're actually ill? As he's your manager it's at least partly his fault you're under too much pressure. And with the lack of sensitivity (not to mention legality) he's displayed here, I'm not surprised.

Aims80 · 03/02/2011 09:20

Take a screen shot of the comment on his page (press the print screen button and then in a word doc or email click 'paste') and a link to the page and send that to your hr. It's unacceptable. Poor you.

ThePosieParker · 03/02/2011 09:23

Report him to HR. It's not professional and certainly not funny.

Plumm · 03/02/2011 09:27

YANBU. He may not have named you but people obviously know who you are. Report him.

Arion · 03/02/2011 09:28

Raise a grievance with HR, (there should be a process outlined for you to follow). Totally unacceptable and unprofessional behaviour from your manager.

BarbieLovesKen · 03/02/2011 09:28

Terrible. YADNBU. I really feel for you - my manager told the world when I sent in a cert citing a pregnancy related illness - I had congratulations from staff on FB, by text and phonecall - hadnt announced pregnancy to family (parents) yet . Was very annoyed.

How are you feeling? Im really glad you were brave enough to go to the Doctor - its a difficult thing to do but things should start to improve now.

purplepidjin · 03/02/2011 09:29

Talking about work in FaceBook is Gross Misconduct at my place - even "Pidj has had a shitty day" is frowned on.

Although, I work in care so confidentiality comes into play.

And, fwiw, i totally agree with the policy - work is none of the worlds damn business

frgr · 03/02/2011 09:47

Unprofessional and embarassing - there's no way he should be posting about such an identifiable colleague in his personal facebook profile.

People at my own work have been sacked for less than this when it comes to FB pages (or in the last case, it was a myspace profile post - a couple of years ago - since then they've amended the contracts to include a specific clause on social media, rather than a sentance in the Acceptable IT use policy bit - people have clued up since then - you should recommend something like this to your HR too)

whatever the official policy is in your contracts about IT use/blogging/etc i would raise a formal grievance about this and make sure it doesn't happen again. i would also look to get an apology from your stupid boss directly.

If it helps to put things into perspective, whilst i would be mortified if i was you, if i did see my own manager do something as unprofessional as that, they would certainly go down in my estimations by a huge amount.

frgr · 03/02/2011 09:48

wait a second, i've just seen the "lol" there. did he really post that?

in what workplace would that ever be acceptable?!!!

lalabaloo · 03/02/2011 11:07

This is totally not acceptable, even though he didn't name you it is still a breach of confidentiality. He should have more thought than to do this, I would report it before it happens again. I hope you haven't let it knock your confidence and hope you feel better soon

stovies · 03/02/2011 11:14

I don't think the not naming you matters when he's said 'my admin lady' if you're his admin lady.

Shockingly unprofessional. I know you probably don't need more stress but I hope you make a complaint.

MattsBatt · 03/02/2011 11:17

Unprofessional and disgusting. Definitely report him to HR and make sure you include a screenshot or printout of the offending FB page. YANBU. I'm so sorry this has happened.

Eglu · 03/02/2011 11:20

YANBU. Incredibly unprofessional. If he's putting it on FB, is he telling everyone at work too? Awful. What your sick note says should be confidential.

You need to complain.

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