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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my reason for sickness should be confidential?

50 replies

Shakirasma · 03/02/2011 08:35

After struggling for months with all life is throwing at me, I finally rang in sick on Monday and went to the doctor before I crack up completely.

She was lovely, we had a good chat and she signed me off work with stress for a fortnight.

I had a message through Facebook yesterday from an ex colleague saying she hoped I get well soon, she had seen I was I'll on Facebook.

I thought that was very sweet of her, then I realized I had not been on fb for ages! I wondered who on earth had mentioned me being sick.

So I did a bit of browsing and it was my manager! In a convo with another store manager he had put "now my admin lady has gone off sick with stress lol"

People judge stress in a negative, often skeptical light. AIBU to be angry that he has told the world, on his open profile, what my illness is? Clearly I am identifiable from his comment as the message I received proves!

OP posts:

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 11:23

Oh how I love the fools who have forgotten what proper professional behaviour is, once they get on FB

This isn't on. It's public and the manager is dissing you

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 11:26

And yes, report his sorry ass

maryz · 03/02/2011 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinterLover · 03/02/2011 13:20

I agree with everyone, report him to HR.

daisyj · 03/02/2011 13:24

Yes, report him. That's awful - and to put 'lol' at the end . That's just nasty and cynical - it implies that either he finds it funny or he doesn't believe you. I'm not sure which is worse. He's a grown adult behaving like a very silly teenager. Sadly Facebook seems to have that effect on some people.

Bluegrass · 03/02/2011 13:34

What is your relationship like with your manager? If it is generally very good and you don't think any harm was intended I would discuss it with them, by email so you have a record (ie I was really disappointed to see you refer to the reason for my absence on Facebook etc etc"). Give the opportunity for them to realise their error, apologise and move on. After all you have to work together, and one thoughtless mistake shouldn't necessarily result in an HR black mark, you can resolve it between you.

If however the relationship isn't good, or this sort of behaviour is common I would be more inclined to raise it with HR, but perhaps the tone should be the general need for people to respect privacy, rather than "I want this person punished".

How people handle problems at work says a lot about them. You could come out of this looking very good if you play it carefully.

MrsRichardHammond · 03/02/2011 13:38

OP i have done the EXACT same thing this monday - only was signed off for one week with orders to go back monday morning.

For the exact same reason - indiscreet boss (which is part of the cause for my stress) - my GP suggested putting something else on my sicknote that i didn't mind 'going round the office', anyway, my phone hasn't stopped ringing because my boss wants to know when i'm back and she was talking about my health openly on the phone and asking all kinds of personal questions, our office is open plan and she is less than subtle with how she talks.

I hope you make a complaint - because i certainly am about mine when i go back!

StealthPolarBear · 03/02/2011 13:40

of course it's identifiable - how many "admin ladies" does he have? And of those, how many are off sick?
I'd also take issue with the "lol".
If you do contact him or HR make sure you mention how this has added to your stress

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:44

good post Bluegrass

HollyBollyBooBoo · 03/02/2011 14:12

YANBU - the Mgr could well be disciplined in most companies I would have thought. They take a very dim view of anything work related being put on social networking sites.

StealthPolarBear · 04/02/2011 19:40

any update OP?

unfitmother · 04/02/2011 19:44

What an arse!

Original poster

Shakirasma · 04/02/2011 19:51

Sorry for the delay, thank you for all your comments.

I telephoned HR at head office and they were suitably outraged. I have had to take a screen shot of the page and I have posted it to HR today.

I will chase it up next week, but our HR dept is notoriously weak so I'm not holding my breath that much will come of it.

OP posts:

lalabaloo · 04/02/2011 20:04

I'm glad to hear that your HR department is taking you seriously, make sure you chase them up though and don't let them forget about it

eagerbeagle · 04/02/2011 20:13

Data about an individual's physical or mental health or condition, are sensitive personal data under the data protection act 1998. It is irrelevant as to whether you are named or not in this post if you are identifiable and as you job post is identified, under the law so are you.

It is a serious matter to disclose an individual's sensitive personal data without their consent (except in exceptional cases which this definitely is not).

If you get nowhere with HR you can make a complaint to the information commissioner that there has been a breach and your sensitive personal data has been disclosed.

Details here: "Data Protection ? when and how to complain www.ico.gov.uk/complaints/data_protection.aspx

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/02/2011 20:40

Good for you! Just keep pressing them (without becoming a PITA!).

Have you spoken to your Mgr about it? I'm not sure what's the best thing to do but I am just thinking of trying to maintain your relationship with him so that when you do return to work there isn't a hideous atmosphere because he got a call/email/letter from HR which will be out of the blue from his pov.

Shelly32 · 04/02/2011 21:46

YANBU!! I had to have time off for IVF treatment. My boss told 3 people in the dept why i was off even though she knew i didn't want anyone knowing. She said it was 'cause people were worried it was more serious. Your life outside of work is private. No one should compromise that and i really resent that everyone knows why i was off ork. If the IVF hadn't worked out it would have been really bad!!!

frgr · 05/02/2011 15:15

"She said it was 'cause people were worried it was more serious"

It's not the place of your manager to make that call, though. With that excuse, she's basically saying that her legal/professional responsibilities fly out the window when she personally thinks it's ok to reveal information to parties she deems worthy of obtaining it. What other sorts of situations would she feel happy making a judgement call in that area? There's a reason why certain decisions/areas of management are strictly controlled within an organisation, otherwise you get all sorts of managers using their own judgement in these highly confidential circumstnaces.

Dreadful for you, unprofessional in the extreme. Honestly, do managers not realise how hurtful and stupid they are being when it comes to revealing such personal information?

Newgolddream · 05/02/2011 16:05

Good for you OP, and Im glad you took proof before complaining. This is completely outrageous and not acceptable, a gross breech of confidentiality. Are you in a Union?

Mondayschild78 · 05/02/2011 16:47

From a HR Manager point of view - I think his behaviour is completely unacceptable and so wrong on so many levels and YANBU.

If you do want to raise a grievance I would check your IT policy and Grievance policy to formulate a complaint, plus this sort of data is classed as sensitive personal data under the Data Protection Act. Also agree with the earlier comment to do a screen shot - proof is good. You could also use your friend's message as further proof. Finally, stress as a long term condition could afford some protection under the Disability Discrimination Act and therefore this should be taken very seriously by your employer.

While you haven't been specifically named there is enough information included to identify you (and this happened!)

I would be hugely concerned about something like this if an employee came to me about it. If you do not have a HR Dept, contact a more senior manager that you trust.

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can be so stupid and insensitive.

IAPJJLPJ · 06/02/2011 08:10

The DDA has been preceded by the Equality Act 2010

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 06/02/2011 08:26

If that's your line manager I'm not surprised you're stressed.

YANBU.

The LOL would have finished me of to be honest, there is nothing funny about what you're going through.

Good luck.

mummyontherun · 06/02/2011 08:33

I would wait and see what HR come up with, and if you are not happy I would then go to see a solicitor (you should be able to find one who offers a free 30 mins employment consultation). It all depends on your situation but this is worth some cash if you need it....

xstitch · 06/02/2011 12:07

YANBU, hope it all goes well with HR. The lol would really have annoyed me too.

I was off in the early stages of pregnancy with dd because I had 2 recent miscarriages and wasn't too well. My manager was the only one who knew why I was off. People started gossiping and probing him for the reason for my absence. They were putting him under a lot of pressure yet he still kept quiet and respected my privacy.

Wook · 06/02/2011 12:23

Well done for reporting this, that 'lol' just made the original crassness a billion times worse. How dare he?!!
Don't think facebook turns people into unprofessional, indiscreet morons, but if you're already unprofessional and indiscreet, then facebook definitely makes your uselessness more of a danger to others!!

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