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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents believe everyone loves their little Timmy

90 replies

CockularDepravity · 02/02/2011 22:53

... or Jane for those blessed with a female child.

So, I put it to you that most, or certainly many, parents appear to believe that their precocious precious son or daughter is universally revered and a source of never ending entertainment for all those lucky enough to come into contact with them.

This extends to the child being the sole or main cause of conversation (particularly when the child is nothing to do with the conversation prior to it being hijacked), and the belief that the general populace wants their child to be around them at all times (particularly in areas generally assumed to be child free).

Am I being unreasonable in this assumption? Please also state whether you have any offspring in any reply you choose to make.

OP posts:
WillYouDoTheDangFanjo · 03/02/2011 00:08

YABU because it's not a given. I think it's healthy for parents to pass through a phase of obsession in which their child is the centre of the universe - the love goggles are necessary to the child's survival - but I know of plenty of parents who get over this in a few months.
I also know of a few that don't (e.g a friend who invited me to visit for the weekend - we spent all day playing with her 8 month old and all the baby's nap time talking about her, too - this I had expected. However when baby was finally settled at 9pm and my friend booted up the laptop for a slideshow of hundreds of photos of said smiling baby... I had an early night.)

IME baby bores are equally common as pet bores (oh, the operation anecdotes... ), sports bores, hypochondriac bores (when I ask "How are you?" I just want the highlights, honestly), diet bores... Sailling bores... List goes on.

scottishmummy · 03/02/2011 00:09

who cares if op is male?yikes men post here?pomander and a seat puhleese case any wee flowers get offended

Bumblequeen · 03/02/2011 00:10

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 03/02/2011 00:10

The woman acquaintance of your husband sounds a little enthusiastic but probably felt safe in the environment that included parents.

How do you react?

The second woman sounds a little nutty. No a lot nutty. Are you sure they were her exact words? Are you sure you weren't on "you've been framed"? If not, perhaps just put it down to one of those crazy days. I dont think its a parenting thing, really, I think a woman like that would be a bit nutty and intense whatever she turned her hand to.

I'm unsure of why you are unable to laugh these off. Perhaps you did in "real life" but there is a serious and slightly...scathing I suppose tone to your posts that implies a much deeper resentment. Where do you think that comes from?

Meeko · 03/02/2011 00:10

I have one daughter (special needs)and I would never force conversation about or company of her on anyone - not even my "parent" friends. Yes there are situations where this is entirely appropriate however that is not 24/7. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter but even I could think of nothing worse than having nothing else to do/talk about than her

TattyDevine · 03/02/2011 00:12

Scottish, I'm not "caring" whether the OP is male from a point of view of thinking men shouldn't post or not realising they did, but am curious as to whether it is a male perspective or a female perspective we are reading. I now know. I dont care though...

scottishmummy · 03/02/2011 00:14

if you dont care answer the post.no arse scratchin is it man or wummin

Original poster
CockularDepravity · 03/02/2011 00:15

In the interests of full disclosure, I'm a female born in Britain but recently moved to the other side of the world.

I don't mean to be scathing but I do strongly object to child-insertion into both conversations and situations which are inappropriate. Perhaps I chose bad examples; I have many, many more.

How did I react? Well, to the first with polite good humour and to the second with some alarm.

And rather than 'resentment' I'd probably use the word 'pity'. To be unaware that the world does not revolve around your little darlings is pitiful (in the accurate sense of the word, I mean).

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 03/02/2011 00:21

lol,im female born dont make me all woman mind

TattyDevine · 03/02/2011 00:25

Scottish, I think you have comnpletely missed the point of why I was musing over the sex of the OP. I personally feel it was relevant to ponder why the OP came to feel so strongly in the first place. To unravel the various factors that might contribute to this, I became curious about their sex. Most posts I wouldn't even ponder it, depending on the content.

Its certainly nothing about being an offended flower Hmm - like I said, you completely missed the point. And I have responded to the OP, several times.

skybluepearl · 03/02/2011 05:57

Sounds like precious first born behaviour...?Saying that i do find my kids very entertaining but then i also really enjoy seeing my friend kids as they are so cute too. Kids are a part of normal peoples lives and so you can expect them to be talked about a bit.

MsKLo · 03/02/2011 06:57

Kiwiinkits

Methinks you are the OP's sock puppet and purlease... Threatened by such twattish tone? Do me a favaaaaaa! (or favour) for the oh so intelligent musing of the op...

Not

PigValentine · 03/02/2011 07:29

God, OP, do you have to keep boring everyone with your stories of parents you've met? Jesus, we've all met parents before you know, we don't have to listen to endless stories about them, can't you talk about anything else?! Grin

Your examples aren't really very good either; the woman at the auction is clearly just a bit mad. The first sort of illustrates your point, but then I could come up with dozens of examples where I have had to listen to people bore me taking about their pets, hobbies, or holidays...it's just a part of small talk. Maybe, OP, you feel that you are the only one clever enough to spot this and then be witty about it, it probably makes you quite hard work in casual conversation.

Hopelesslydisorganised · 03/02/2011 07:31

I suspect the woman at the auction does not exist except in the OP's imagination. The first example is much more believable.

Original poster
CockularDepravity · 03/02/2011 08:06

The woman did exist and women like her do exist. I'm sorry you believe I'm intentionally making things up. I'm not. Believe it or not as you will, it matters little to me.

MsKLo - do you believe that insults are always the best way forward, particularly in a discussion forum? I don't claim to be intelligent. I was not musing, merely setting up a AIBU thread with a pushback.

I should have chosen better examples, this is true. Maybe later.

OP posts:
toeragsnotriches · 03/02/2011 08:18

I don't think that. Although I do have friends who are like this and my new year's resolution has been to not see them unless I totally have to. Because they do. my. head. in!

TrollyMcTrollPants · 03/02/2011 08:20

That one about the auction house was awesome!!! Grin

"So she herded her flock around her as the auctions proceeded and they were noisy, boisterous and keen to empty themselves of both urine and, I think, a little poo as well. The stench was hideous."

I'm having a good old roffle now!!

This site is funny too, lots of mummyjackings!

BalloonSlayer · 03/02/2011 08:27

I remember saying to DH once: "I find it hard to remind myself that not everyone finds our DCs as wonderful as we do. I keep thinking when he goes to pre-school that he MUST be their favourite, and having to give myself a shake."

DH looked shocked.

He said: "I'm sure he IS their favourite. He's such a lovely boy."

"They're all lovely boys and girls, DH. That's what I'm saying - we just think ours are super-lovely because they are ours. That's my point. All the other parents probably think their DCs are favourites too."

"But DS MUST be their favourite. Or one of them. He's so sweet."

< BalloonSlayer bangs head against wall >

BeribbonedGibbon · 03/02/2011 08:31

Your posts seem so contrived. I think they took you at least 4 days to put together. Is it a pain trying to type and read a draft at the same time? Wink

Original poster
CockularDepravity · 03/02/2011 08:38

I'm unfamiliar with this forum and the way that newer posters are responded to but no, BeribbonedGibbon, I type as I think and to suggest otherwise is absurd.

Do you have anything of substance to add to the thread? No? Perhaps not the thread for you, then.

OP posts:
BeribbonedGibbon · 03/02/2011 08:47

I am lol'ing in RL. Thank you for that. DD2 has had me up since 5.10 and my humour was failing.

Did I hit a nerve by chance?

BeribbonedGibbon · 03/02/2011 08:47

Am loving that everyone will shorten your name to cock btw.

bitofcheese · 03/02/2011 09:28

cock' - i've enjoyed reading one thread of yours inparticular. seriously, did the women at the auction REALLY say that at the end (her upset rant when you won the property)? seems a bit far fetched/dramatic to me, unless it was an american (wink) ps: do you have a child/any children?

rockinhippy · 03/02/2011 09:41

You contradict yourself OP Wink ...how can you announce in your thread title that PARENTS BELIEVE EVERYONE LOVES & then say that you yourself DON"T believe that of your own??....you are a parent & don't, so stands to reason not EVERYONE else will be that way, some will (& CAN be damned annoying) & just like you some others won't

Did you forget the word SOME at the beginning of your title???, if so YNBU, but if not, you're being plain daft Hmm

Original poster
CockularDepravity · 03/02/2011 19:50

BeribbonedGibbon - I'm glad I was able to provide a little relief on the humour front as being up since 5.10am is never nice. My choice of name and its likely shortening was not by chance, I can assure you.

bitofcheese - she did say this, yes. The "thief" part was actually screamed. She wasn't American, she was a New Zealander and it is possible that she wasn't completely in control of her faculties so, as I've already mentioned, it was not perhaps the best example I could have used to back up my point.

rockinhippy - It was a generalisation to provoke some debate. Of course I know that not all parents are like this; this is why I used the terms "most" in my OP.

OP posts: