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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking this mum is bonkers?

41 replies

verytellytubby · 02/02/2011 16:15

I'm usually very laid-back but quite flabbergasted.

I invited one of DD's friends for tea and the mum refused and said 'There's no point continuing the friendship as they are going to different secondary schools!' Shock

The girls are year 4 (aged 8) and have been friends since nursery!

I have no idea what secondary school DD will be going to yet. I was so shocked I ended up lamely blushing saying nothing.

FFS. I'm finding it hard to get my head around her comment (no drip feeding, no previous problems).

OP posts:
SlightlyJaded · 02/02/2011 16:17

I can only imagine that her response was an 'excuse' that was covering some other reason.

Either that or she really is bonkers.

deaconblue · 02/02/2011 16:17

gosh how rude! She sounds nuts. Her poor dd though if she's only allowed to play with children whose parents have decided secondary schools 3 years too early!

FoundWanting · 02/02/2011 16:17

How bizarre.

There must be more going on.

MangoTango · 02/02/2011 16:21

Barking

Original poster
verytellytubby · 02/02/2011 16:21

Definitely nothing going on. Her DD was over last week and they get on like a house on fire.

I should phone her to talk about it I guess but I can't really be arsed.

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 02/02/2011 16:22

I would have thought at 8, kids made their own decisions who to be friends with anyway..

Fantoosh · 02/02/2011 16:22

She hates either you or your dd Grin Wink

Are only children from the same school allowed to be friends then? YANBU - she's mad.

Original poster
verytellytubby · 02/02/2011 16:25

I think it's me. DD is a lovely well-mannered child. Sometimes I feel she's like Saffron from Absolutely Fabulous Grin

OP posts:
compo · 02/02/2011 16:25

Get dd to ask her friend if she still wants to come over
perhaps if the friend came over last week its a bit too soon
it can be a pita ferrying kids around every week, especially if she's got younger siblings

togarama · 02/02/2011 16:25

Weird. Has she not heard of phone, email, weekends, after-school etc..?

Poor kid if her mother is going to select all her friends for her at this age, and on such peculiar criteria.

I have friends from my first primary school and I started my fourth school at the age of 10. It wasn't that hard to keep a real friendship going, even in pre-email days...

ratspeaker · 02/02/2011 16:26

Very odd
There must be more to it than diffrent schools.
And how controlling to decide who her childs friends are to be!

All my children have had friends at different schools , primary and secondary

balloonballs · 02/02/2011 16:27

Mad as a bag of snakes.

Deliaskis · 02/02/2011 16:29

There must be more to this - I don't mean from you OP but from the other mother, as in there must be another reason she doesn't want her DD coming round, or another reason she doesn't want her continuing the friendship. The secondary school thing just sounds like a lame and rather silly excuse.

Not suggesting BTW that she is justified in not wanting her DD to come around or be friends, but just that the secondary school thing can't be the reason.

D

ilovesprouts · 02/02/2011 16:29

mad as a hatter

meantosay · 02/02/2011 16:29

Very strange.

Is her child going to some 'posh' secondary school and she thinks the children in current school are 'not good enough for her' or something??

5DollarShake · 02/02/2011 16:30

I would push her on it. Embarrass her into telling you the real reason.

CuppaTeaJanice · 02/02/2011 16:30

My first thought would be that maybe she's moving away soon, not happy about it (DH's job relocating or something) but not allowed to tell anyone, and you caught her on an off day when she was feeling particularly bitter about it.

Or maybe she was trying to find an excuse to not let her DD go to your house and that's the best she could come up with when put on the spot.

Or she's bonkers!

Asteria · 02/02/2011 16:31

sausage roll short of a picnic...

monkeyflippers · 02/02/2011 16:43

What a weirdo! Ask her more about it now that you are over the shock.

Katey1010 · 02/02/2011 16:44

If either of the DCs gets bullied (fingers crossed that doesn't happen) they will be very glad to have a friend who is not at the same school.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/02/2011 16:45

I'd be wondering if she had an inferiority/superiority complex going on regarding selective secondary schools.

Maybe she thinks her DD is educationally better than yours and doesn't want your,DD to distract hers from the prize. Or voce versa and she jealous? Confused

ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/02/2011 16:45

vice obviously.
Smile

TallulahDoesTheHula · 02/02/2011 16:45

If she came round to yours last week without any problems then its prob an excuse.
Can you think of anything that might havw happened or been said last week that the girl has gone back and told her Mum about??

BlackSwan · 02/02/2011 16:46

If by 'bonkers', you mean she's a rude bitch, then yes, you're right.

KikiJane · 02/02/2011 16:48

Sounds mad. And rude. I'd totally call her on it and find out what her problem is.