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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for getting upset during this Doctors appointment?

41 replies

MummyOnTour · 02/02/2011 00:07

I am 32 weeks pregnant and just moved to a new area. I signed up at the surgery next to my house and asked if I could start my antenatal care there. The receptionist made me an appointment to see the Head of Antenatal stuff Doctor, which I turned up to this morning.

As soon as I sat down (with my big belly and hospital notes) she abruptly said 'what are you here for?', which seemed a bit cold from the start, but then went on to seemingly have an issue with everything I said, which I was not expecting from any kind of appointment, never mind this one!

I explained that I was here for an antenatal appointment and she said that it was not antenatal clinic day and that I had been booked as a routine appointment. How was I to know this - I was just turning up to an appointment that the receptionist asked me to go along to - she made me feel like I was completely wasting my time for being there! She said that I needed to book another appointment with the midwife who is in on a wed and fri. I said that I couldn't do wednesdays so could I do fri. She said that the midwife was fully booked then and the following week, so it was really important that I should wed as I needed blood pressure checks etc done. She had a blood pressure machine sat on the desk next to her so I said well can you not do that for me now? She said no because I was on a routine appointment not an antenatal appointment!!

Few other bits too that just were really abrupt and rude - when she said you need to register with the hospital I explained that I'd already booked into the birthing centre. She said no you haven't, you can't have done, you have to have booked through the hospital. I had been told by the birthing centre that I was booked in, I was just passing on what they said to me - no need to make me feel so stupid?

And I said that I wasn't due to be seen by my previous midwife for another couple of weeks, but again she told me I was wrong and that I would be due to be seen at 31/32 weeks. Obviously in different areas they have different schedules as I showed her my notesthat I was actually correct, again don't know why I felt like she was being argumentative rather than helpful?

In the end we left it with her saying that she would get the midwife to call me to try and get me fitted in somehow for Friday, but this was only after I was trying to not let the tears roll down my face and I think she noticed I was upset by this point.

I don't normally get upset like this and would normally stick up for myself if I feel someone's being unreasonable, but I think I just felt so shocked as the whole appointment was not what I was expecting, I left feeling like I'd wasted her time for being there (I was told to go to this appointment, I didn't randomly ask for it!) and that she wanted to pick holes in anything I said and couldn't help me.

Am I being over-sensitive / hormonal about this??

OP posts:
MrsBonkers · 02/02/2011 00:12

YANBU

Do you live close enough to your old area to continue your care there until the baby is born?

pickgo · 02/02/2011 00:14

I don't think you're being overly sensitive. The Dr sounds a complete cow.

You could write a letter of complaint about her obstructive and ill-tempered manner to the practice manager - sometimes helps to make you feel better IMHO.

Hopefully you'll have a much nicer mw.

GColdtimer · 02/02/2011 00:15

Tabby, the doctor sounds awful. I would complain to be honest.

GColdtimer · 02/02/2011 00:16

Sorry, iPhone changed Yanbu to tabby Hmm. Grin

SparkleSoiree · 02/02/2011 00:20

I would write a letter of complaint to the Practice Manager.

That is not on that anybody should be upset during a doctors appointment much less a heavily pregnant woman who is just trying to get ante natal care organised.

AimingForSerenity · 02/02/2011 00:20

Maybe you are hormonal and sensitive but as a GP dealing with pregnancy she should understand this.

I would ask to speak to the practice manager and explain that you feel like you got off on the wrong foot through no fault of your own. This seems like a catalogue of errors in information and bookings not to mention a stroppy GP. I'm sure the manager will want to sort it out for you and make sure things run more smoothly in future.

Don't let hassles like this stress you out

AimingForSerenity · 02/02/2011 00:23

Sorry, just reread my post and it sounds like I think you are oversensitive but I don't!

What I was trying to say was that I don't think that but even if you were the GP should have dealt with it better.

Janni · 02/02/2011 00:27

For whatever reason, this doctor dealt with you really badly. It's appalling that you felt close to tears by the end of your time with her.

PlanetLizard · 02/02/2011 00:35

YANBU. A doctor is there to help you, not make you feel like a timewaster and blame you for someone else's mistakes!

JarethTheGoblinKing · 02/02/2011 00:40

That sounds completely unacceptable. Perhaps having an awful day/trying to fit in appointments or something but that's no fucking excuse.

Presumable at the booking you mentioned it was antenatal?

I'd ask for an appointment with the midwide as soon as if humanly possible (sorry, but you are allowed time off for antenatal appointments and fit in Wednesday if at all possible).

She was fucking rude though, and personally I would write a letter to the PCT copying in the practice manager.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 02/02/2011 00:43

btw though, did you actually need an appointment with the GP or with the midwife? If there was nothing wrong I'm wondering if the GP thought that you would have been better placed seeing the MW.

WetAugust · 02/02/2011 00:46

Sounds like the cow GP at my practice - who's been really lovely since I threatened to report her - bitch!

lalamom · 02/02/2011 00:48

Sorry you had a bad time.

The truth is some doctors just have really bad social skills and some are just not caring and some are verging on incompetent.

A doc made me feel like this last week...sent me off and i was admitted to hospital the following evening as the infection I had, had become so bad.

You have to stand up to people like that- hard when you feel fragile or you are caught off guard.

Never think a doc is right....just because they are a doc- they are regular joes like us who make mistakes, get tired and behave badly.

Avoid her- she will probably be know amongst the patients as the one to avoid if she behaves like that with everyone.

Poor you and good luck with rest of pregnancy!

WetAugust · 02/02/2011 01:03

Well said Lalamon.

MadamDeathstare · 02/02/2011 03:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonymosity · 02/02/2011 04:59

what a horrible GP. I'm sorry you had such a bad time of it - totally yanbu to have been upset.

onceamai · 02/02/2011 06:54

Is it the only practice in the area. If not, I'd simply go and sign up with a different one. I wouldn't bother making a complaint per se but I would mention what happened with the new doctor - it's sure to get fed back - they all know each other.

EmmaBemma · 02/02/2011 07:01

Write a letter to the practice manager - that's appalling. Either she was having a bad day or she's just got appalling social skills but either way she shouldn't be treating people like that. One of my pet hates is people being stroppy wbecause you're not following some procedure you have no chance of knowing about. You just went along to the appointment that was made for you by the receptionist.

sunnydelight · 02/02/2011 07:08

Complain. A few more years of education does not give you the right to be a bitch. Find a nice doctor and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy Smile

mummytime · 02/02/2011 07:12

Is this the only doctor at the practice? If so then register at another practice, if not make sure you don't see her again. I would be inclined to contact the practice manager and discuss this.

It is good that she didn't do the blood pressure, as it was probably sky high.

Personally I would be looking for another doctors straight away.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 02/02/2011 07:15

I would complain and change to another doctor in the practice if possible. I did this and it was the best decision I made. My new doctor is lovely, the old one is a complete cow. What you were asking wasn't rocket science, any eejit can take your blood pressure fgs. As a dr she was entitled to write it on your notes, job done. What a fuss about nothing (her, not you).

KaraStarbuckThrace · 02/02/2011 07:15

You maybe hormonal, but what is her excuse for being such a cowbag Angry

And no social skills for me doesn't cut - GPs are expected to deal with the public and be dealing with people with emotional problems as well as physicals one and so should demonstrate a bit of empathy.

I hope you do complain to the practice manager. Is it a large surgery? Do you have the option to see another GP if you need to? I know it is convenient being next door but if you don't get any response from the practice manager I would look for another one.

Original poster
MummyOnTour · 02/02/2011 13:31

Hi all, thanks so much for all your responses and reassurances that I'm not just being over-sensitive - my partner was really angry that I should cone out of an appointment in tears and wanted to put in a complaint immediately, feel better for hearing that we weren't over-reacting. Will not be going to see her again! Thanks again xx

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 02/02/2011 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lesley33 · 02/02/2011 14:17

I agree with your mother MDS. An acquaintance of mine has just finished retraining as a GP. She is super intelligent, but is abrupt and pretty uncaring. I would hate to have her as my GP.