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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friends DH is bonkers and ungrateful

39 replies

Sarsaparilllla · 01/02/2011 14:50

I went to see my mate last week, her & her DP have 2 kids, 2.5 and just over a month.

She told me her DH gets really annoyed because her mum keeps buying things for the kids which are in the sale. Clothes from Next or M&S, but in the sale - he thinks it's cheeky and threw a bag of stuff in the bin Confused

She didn't seem to think it was a problem, I said if they weren't any good she should've taken them back and exchanged stuff, not thrown perfectly good brand new clothes in the bin because they were reduced... she got a bit annoyed with me, but I just think it's such a waste, am I wrong?

OP posts:
MrSpoc · 01/02/2011 14:51

Your right it is bonkers, send it my way.

QueenStromba · 01/02/2011 14:51

Yup - that is absolutely mental!

Rhadegunde · 01/02/2011 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooseyLoosey · 01/02/2011 14:52

For real?

pjmama · 01/02/2011 14:54

Does he not like the clothes or just object to them on principle because they were reduced? Either way it's wasteful and if it's the latter, he's a stinking snob. Does he chuck away his £20s when they get a bit grubby too?

JamieLeeCurtis · 01/02/2011 14:54

I'm not sure anyone could find his behaviour reasonable

Serendippy · 01/02/2011 14:54

I agree that he sounds ungrateful. But mostly I just wanted to be the first to say;

  1. Anyone who spends more than 20p on their child in the first 5 years is obviously spoiling them and has loads of money to spare.
  2. Everyone should use reusable nappies and wear at least 5th hand clothes, anyone who doesn't, see above.
  3. Children should be fed on porridge and veg, get less than £1 worth of presents at christmas and never own a bike. We never did, blah blah blah.

YANBU but to take it to the next level, there is a real culture on here of being rude about people who dare to buy new stuff for their children.

cantspel · 01/02/2011 14:55

stupid people do stupid things

even if she doesn't want to use them has she not heard of ebay and charity shops

manchestermummy · 01/02/2011 14:58

YANBU with the sentiment but YABU to have said anything: she probably knows what are saying is true. Perhaps is DH is peed off with the amount of stuff? This happens in our house - MIL buys 6/7 items of clothing each week (no joke) - never, ever the right size and never, ever what DD1 likes (3.3 and very picky) or what I would put DD2 in (pastel pink dresses with matching headbands).

It all goes back and exchanged. All of it. The age 2-3 bikini briefs. The nasty party dresses (DD1 won't wear dresses). The mid-thigh length skirts. The coat that is so big DD1 will be sitting GCSEs by the time it fits. The multiple, vomitous "Grandma's little treasure" t-shirts.

Ooops. Sorry. Had to get that off my chest!

Original poster
Sarsaparilllla · 01/02/2011 14:58

Mrspoc - I'd have happily taken the clothes myself for another friend had I been there to fish them out the bin!

Pyjama - he just objects to the fact they're reduced apparently. So, as I said to my friend, if she'd taken the tags off and he didn't know, whould that have been ok, she just kinda looked at me and ignored the question.

OP posts:
StormInaCCup · 01/02/2011 15:00

He sounds like a frootloop - how nasty, not to mention bloody wasteful. Why can't he just be grateful that someone cares so much about his DC that they're willing to go to the expense and trouble of buying them things? Its not like they're all moth eaten/ mildewed stuff bought for 5p from carboot sales or anything is it? (not that you can't get decent stuff at carboots before I get flamed!)

I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who was absolutely chuffed to bits when my SIL gave me two big bags of new baby stuff that my DN has grown out of.

At the very least he could donate the stuff to a children's charity/ domestic violence shelter, both of whom I am sure would be far more grateful to have them than he is. Stupid tosser!

kepler10b · 01/02/2011 15:00

what an idiot. what's wrong with buying stuff that is in a sale??

eddiemccready · 01/02/2011 15:03

Good god, how up himself must he be! I would have had to say something myself. Havn't they ever heard of a charity shop. I never throw clothes in the bin someone is always glad of them.

JamieLeeCurtis · 01/02/2011 15:04

He must really hate his mother. Or be an idiot. Actually, both

chandellina · 01/02/2011 15:06

I have a colleague who just had a baby whose husband objects to second hand clothes. this is even crazier!!

bring it to the charity shop ...

MrSpoc · 01/02/2011 15:06

Sars - we put some expensive baby out door type snow suites on ebay, a young lady bought them as her sister had an unexpected baby and had nothing. we ended raiding our old clothes for the baby for no money and they were realy greatful.

Imagine how many other people would of benefitted from these cloths.

cantspel · 01/02/2011 15:08

when my children were younger all my friends used to pass down clothes to each other and anything not needed or wanted went to the playgroup for spares or their second hand clothes rail.

i hate to throw aaway any clothing even how and either charity shop it or if tatty then it goes into the cloth recycle bin.

Original poster
Sarsaparilllla · 01/02/2011 15:08

JamieLeeCurtis, it's her mum, not his.

She said it was a bag full of clothes too so think she must've still spent a bit of money even if things were reduced.

I just wanted to check it wasn't me, he really is a total snob. I always send stuff to the charity shop, passed them on to someone, or I'd have exchanged them, it just wouldn't cross my mind to throw brand new things away :(

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 01/02/2011 15:12

Sorry, didn't read properly. He's still an idiot though. It actually upsets me to think of the wastefulness, never mind the ingratitude. Not nice. Is he a git in other ways?

Truffkin · 01/02/2011 15:13

YAdefinitelyNBU, I would have to say something along the same lines and probably point her in the direction of the nearest charity shop with the big bag of brand new clothes that they are too snobby to want their children in.

When my DN was born my MiL was disgusted that my SiL would consider putting second hand clothes (donated by her sister as her DS had outgrown most and never even owrn some) in the washing machine at the same time as the brand new stuff they had. Some people are so strange.

Original poster
Sarsaparilllla · 01/02/2011 15:16

It upset me too actually but I thought I was being a bit melodramatic!!

Yep, he is a bit of a git in other ways, I think he's quite a selfish person

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 01/02/2011 15:23

So the kids are only allowed to wear clothes he approves of?
Anything else is chucked even if brand new?

hmmm controlling or what

curlymama · 01/02/2011 15:23

He does sound like a bit of a git, but what they do with their own belongings is not really any of your business. Your friend probably had every reason to be annoyed with you for whatever comment you made.

What did you actually say to her?

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 01/02/2011 15:23

YANBU

MackerelOfFact · 01/02/2011 15:28

He sounds like an idiot, but I guess clothes which are reduced are usually last season's and therefore inappropriate for the current seaon's weather? Clutching at straws maybe. He does just sound like a prat.

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