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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a 'sick' child to behave like one

29 replies

gordyslovesheep · 01/02/2011 14:38

arrghhh DD1 was off sick yesterday - spent the day with Nanny (after I took 2hrs TOIL first thing) came home fine - had a good old fight with her middle sister etc

at 1am woke up and pukes everywhere - twice

no one to have her today - ex husband is away - I have had to take my last (saved up for a childfree day to myself) day of Anuual Leave and blacken my name at work (I was on duty today which my mate will have to cover)

so why is she being a pain and bothering me

and she very kindly gave me her tummy bug - which was nice

OP posts:
tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 16:26

i dont understand the question?

ShatnersBassoon · 01/02/2011 16:28

Yes, I would expect my children to have the decency to suffer if I'd taken a day off work.

kepler10b · 01/02/2011 16:28

why did you have a child??? surely this is just typical behaviour and you should be worrying for her not blaming her for being ill.

tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 16:30

you are asking if its unreasonable she is ill or that you took day off work seems your work is more important and the fact you have had to blacken your name is more important than your chld being ill.... anyone agree with me here im a mother of two and i couldnt give a dam if i had to take time off work if my kids were ill....

tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 16:30

@kepler10b i agree!!!

compo · 01/02/2011 16:32

aw bless her
at least she'll be better for tomorrow's day at work

theITgirl · 01/02/2011 16:35

I read it as the child is bouncing off the walls, with loads of energy.
NOT curled up in front of the TV with a duvet so that OP can get on with paperwork etc.

tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 16:43

theIT girl...... that made me laugh out loud!!! i thought the same thing an dwhen i read it was very shocked at the supposed selfish atttitude... i wonder if she was just bored and decided to come on here say something to wind everyone up and start off a debate... it effects her that much she posted it yet hasnt responded so it cant be that bad... maybe she back at work and is to busy

Eowyn · 01/02/2011 16:48

well I understand, mine has slapped cheek & can't go in as her teacher is pregnant, she's been on her Wii, skipping in the garden like a nutter, generally hassling me all day. I'm glad she's ok of course, but she'd be a lot happier at school. (No, I don't blame the school )
Just sympathise...

MoonGirl1981 · 01/02/2011 16:51

You're entitled to dependancy days when your child is ill, you don't need to take your annual leave.

Besides, I'd far rather be at home with a child who was 'ill' but wasn't suffering than one who was properly poorly and unhappy.

My son was off with Chicken Pox for a week recently but was in good spirits - we had a lovely time!

cumfy · 01/02/2011 18:51

But she is being sick.Confused

Do you mean you wish it was all much more predictable ?

mutznutz · 01/02/2011 18:55

I'm confused. What does TOIL mean? I can't find it in the acronyms list Confused

tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 19:01

cumfy i agree...

thatsnotmymonster · 01/02/2011 19:03

What's wrong with wanting to save your last day's annual leave for yourself? You can take dependency days but they are unpaid aren't they? Most people can't afford to do that?

I'm sure she doesn't really mind being at home with her dd, just commenting on the fat she is not acting as though she is sick even though she threw up in the night.

YABU to expect a sick child to act sick though! Most kids do bounce around despite being ill and then flop and moan and then go back to normal etc etc UNLESS they are really really sick that is.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 01/02/2011 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rosebud05 · 01/02/2011 19:04

TOIL = time off in lieu.

ie you work unpaid over your contracted hours, then take the additional hours you've worked off at another time.

FranSanDisco · 01/02/2011 19:07

YANBU, these kids don't read the contract properly Wink.

Original poster
gordyslovesheep · 01/02/2011 19:09

pmsl @ some of the responses and thanks to those who got it!

Honestly my point was AIBU to be a little peeved at having to use my annual leave to care for a 'sick' child who is not sick! Not resentful of my lovely girl just frustrated that I had to use my leave

I can take dep leave but it's unpaid and I can;t afford to loose £100

yeh TOIL is accrued hours for overtime etc - I can take them back to make up a days hours

OP posts:
Original poster
gordyslovesheep · 01/02/2011 19:10

and it was a bit - you know, tongue in cheek Grin

OP posts:
Wallace · 01/02/2011 19:13

it was obv tongue in cheek!

my ds2 was awake in the night with earache. Was expecting him to be too ill for nursery. NOPE woke up bouncy in the morn so there was no way he was staying at home Grin

cumfy · 01/02/2011 19:15

I expect she's sat their thinking why's Mum not looking more ill with that bug I've given her. :o

And why not use the tummy bug as a sick day ?

Original poster
gordyslovesheep · 01/02/2011 19:35

I would but one more sick day would trigger an occupational health referal Confused - I haven;t had loads of sick - just 6 days BUT that's counted as '5 periods' of illness - in 8 mths so not looked on favourably

I am feeling rather vile though (sighs)

I am vulnerable public sector so in all seriousness for a moment I could actually do with being IN WORK!

OP posts:
ramblingmum · 01/02/2011 19:46

I know where you are coming from I had to pick dd2 up from nursery at lunch time as she has chickenpox. But the thing is she has 6 spots and has spent all afternoon playing and eating.
I ended up taking her to the GP as I was sure they were ment to have more spots, but she agreed it is chickenpox. Now I am glade she is not realy ill with it and luckly dh is able to take tomorrow off but I will have to tack the rest of the week

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 01/02/2011 20:06

GLS - I think some posters have been a bit hard on you - I do sympathise as have had a sick child home for two days who perked up as soon as his bro' had gone to school.. But he is not a whinger, so I do believe that he is genuinely ill, and the bro' was probably making it worse by eating a donut in front of him...and of course better that he isn't actually @ death's door. There is some stuff I really needed to do today, but - hey ho - my work is not discovering a cure for cancer, so mostly stuff can wait.. (of course if your job IS discovering a cure for cancer that's different Grin)

tastetherainbow · 01/02/2011 20:11

FOR EVERYONE WHO THINKS I WAS HARD ON HER..... My point was she spent more time moaning abour HER work, taking time off and blackening her name... yeah childcare is a nightmare when your struggling financially but to say that it will blacken her name i thought was ridiculous.... her child was ill... fair enought but like most children they are not well ya take them the docs and they perk up and you have to convince the doctor that they are unwell... but thats just kids get over it!!