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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask DH not to cycle to work?

29 replies

Needaname · 31/01/2011 19:38

DH will be working in London again soon and would like to cycle to work rather than get the tube. I'm very uncomfortable about this because he would have to cross the whole of central London and some busy main roads to get to the centre of town.

We both used to cycle to work but this was pre children and I think the stakes are higher now should anything happen to him. I've seen for myself how some London drivers behave and also don't entirely trust him not to take the odd risk although he's generally a safe cyclist.

Have I blown the risk out of all proportion and AIBU?

OP posts:
PanicMode · 31/01/2011 19:42

I know how you feel because my DH is about to do the same - he's never cycled in Central London, but does around our local town. He is hoping to find a route through the parks etc....it scares me witless, but I know that he hates the tube (he's 6ft 6 and finds it very claustrophobic) and it's going to save a big chunk of cash, plus it allows him to 'train' for his triathlons by doing a daily cycle....so I'm trying hard to be supportive whilst nagging lovingly reminding him to wear hi viz stuff and take it very easy.

ENormaSnob · 31/01/2011 19:46

Yabu

mackereltaitai · 31/01/2011 19:46

Hm, I have to say that when I went to London recently and took my bike (it's aaaages since I cycled in London) I was pleasantly surprised at how much more bike-friendly it had all become. Lots more bike paths and routes, and so many more cyclists - I felt much less exposed than I used to do a century ago in the 90s.

I think it would be completely fair to insist on decent kit and working out the safest route, but tbh i think it would be a shame to stop him, the tube is so miserable and so expensive.

Northernlurker · 31/01/2011 19:54

YABU.

Why does the tube seem so safe anyway? Not very safe on 05/07/05!

It's not up to you what he does or doesn't do. He's an adult and can make his own safety decisions. I'm sure he feels just as much of a duty to your dcs as you do!

Original poster
Needaname · 31/01/2011 19:57

I said ask not tell him!

And I worry about the tube too. I am a worrier.

OP posts:
shakey1500 · 31/01/2011 19:57

YABU- if anything the traffic is slower in central London.

Northern Lurker- it was 07/07/05

LadyBiscuit · 31/01/2011 20:01

Lots and lots of my friends cycle to work every day and have done for years. In all that time, there's only been one that's had an accident (he broke his leg).

Fatal cycle accidents in London are thankfully very rare (it's why they make the news) and like mackerel says, it's a lot safer than it used to be.

And it's great exercise

ChoChoSan · 31/01/2011 20:05

My BF cycles 25 miles a day through London, and I do worry about him, but I'd never ask him not to, and I expect that in the long run it keeps him immensely fit and healthy, and the benefit of regular quite significant exercise is a much more likely outcome than a serious crash which has long term impact.

I also cycle around London from time to time, and think that you can do a lot to inure yourself against drivers as long as you are confident and don't allow yourself to be bullied into cycling in gutters.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 20:07

YABU, while I can understand your concern, the centre is very cycle friendly now, (boris bikes initiative), its a cheap way to exercise.. and so long as he is sensible in traffic, he will be fine..

verytellytubby · 31/01/2011 20:09

My husband cycles to Central London every day. Keeps him really fit Grin

I've given up worrying.

Northernlurker · 31/01/2011 20:11

THanks Shakey - was so busy getting the year right!

shakey1500 · 31/01/2011 20:13

NL- no probs, bit sensitive for me as I SHOULD have been working at Russell Square Tube station that day but rang in sick. All my colleagues involved/affected. Guilt ridden for life :(

drivingmisscrazy · 31/01/2011 20:13

I understand your concerns (I'm sure my DP shares them, and I live in Dublin, which is far less cycle friendly than London, IMO), but I think you are not being rational. Two points: the risks from being unfit/inactive are much higher than the risk from riding a bike daily, on the same route, with adequate care and attention (and I am much more careful, post DD, conscious that my family depends on me being in one piece) and second, if he is training for triathlon then every minute he spends on the bike on his a commute is an extra minute that he has for you and the family...I think it's a win-win, personally.

GloriaSmut · 31/01/2011 20:15

YABU. Given the cycle priority schemes, London is probably safer than the average town out in the sticks.

I do know where you are coming from, mind, DS1 has just cycled from Vancouver to San Diego. When he announced his intentions last year, I was more than a tad worried. Seen Easy Rider too many times, I suspect.

MusieB · 31/01/2011 20:22

My DH cycles everywhere in London and has done for nearly 20 years - he's had a couple of accidents over the years (nothing too serious and always entirely his own fault - eg cycling into the kerb when looking over his shoulder). He refuses to wear a helmet. I think the risks are not insignificant but I also know that the chances of my persuading him to stop are negligible and that he would resent my interference terribly. I just insist he has very adequate life insurance....

OTheHugeManatee · 31/01/2011 20:41

YABU. If he cycles safely he'll be fine. And trim and healthy, and probably less grumpy too.

Violethill · 31/01/2011 20:55

YABU - you both cycled before - what makes you think he'd be any less safe now?

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2011 21:07

The number of deaths among car users in 2008 was 1,257, 12 per cent less than in the previous year. The reported number seriously injured fell by 7 per cent to 10,711. Total reported casualties among car users were 149,188, 8 per cent lower than 2007. Traffic estimates indicate a 1 per cent fall in car and taxi traffic over the period.

Reported Child casualties fell by 8 per cent. The number of children killed or seriously injured in 2008 was 2,807 (down 9 per cent on 2007). Of those, 1,784 were pedestrians, 6 per cent down on 2007. 124 children died on the roads, 2 per cent higher than in the previous year, when the lowest ever child fatality figure of 121 was recorded.

The number of pedal cyclists killed fell by 15 per cent from 136 in 2007 to 115 in 2008. The number of seriously injured rose by 1 per cent to 2,450. The total casualties among pedal cyclists rose by 1 per cent to 16,297.

Fives times more likely to be seriously injured in a car

Original poster
Needaname · 31/01/2011 21:09

Hmm a unanimous IABU. I guess he'll be cycling then. DH is looking delighted at having MN in his corner :o.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 31/01/2011 21:11

eight cyclists died and eighty four were seriously injured in 2008 on roads in London

lalalonglegs · 31/01/2011 21:12

I cycled to work into central London every day for more than a year while I was covering a maternity leave last year. I hadn't done it for a few years and it really does feel a lot safer because there are so many more cyclists out there - motorists have been forced to have a grudging tolerance of us. I chose a route that kept me off the main roads virtually the whole way in and can honestly say that it enhanced my day and meant that my journey time was predictable (no train cancellations/tube strikes/traffic jams).

bambiandthumper · 31/01/2011 21:15

DH cycles to work most days in Central London and now he has no need excuse to escape to go the gym every night :o

I did make him start wearing a helmet though after DD2 was born as I honestly don't know how i'd look after the little buggers babies alone.

Original poster
Needaname · 31/01/2011 21:17

Thanks ivykaty, that helps to put the risk in perspective.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 31/01/2011 21:19

I have no idea whether that is good or bad Grin needaname...

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2011 21:20

Insist he takes out life cover?

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