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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think no news is bad news?

40 replies

aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 17:20

DH is at formal disciplinary meeting today after being suspended 4months ago- promised to ring as soon as he knows the result- possible dismissal. It started at 915 am and has had his mobile switched off since.

Can he still be in meeting or has he gone off to gather himself before coming home ? I know you can't give me an answer but help me wait. Maybe he's out celebrating of course.

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 31/01/2011 17:21

Bloody hell I'd be cross either way tbh. I hope it all works out though x

Eglu · 31/01/2011 17:21

Oh, that is a long wait for you. You must be really worried.

Katey1010 · 31/01/2011 17:21

He can't be still in the meeting can he? I'll keep my fingers crossed it's celebrating and you can give him hell when he calls you Grin

joydivisionovengloves · 31/01/2011 17:21

Must have been a bloody long day for you! I hope he's out getting hammered to celebrate.

TattyDevine · 31/01/2011 17:21

I suspect it is bad news under the circumstances you describe.

I'd love to be positive but there is no positive because if he'd had good news and not told you, knowing you must be really hanging for the news, that's even worse!

Hang in there. Let us know and we can commiserate or congratulate with you.

Has he anything else lined up? Do you work? How are you coping with it? x

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2011 17:22

I think he would have rung you in jubilation if that were the case, aimingforthesky.

If he's been dismissed, he's probably feeling very low and as you say is trying to gather himself.

Hoping for the best for you though.

Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 17:24

Wow ! thank you for such quick replies. I work but took today as holiday as I knew I couldn't focus- actually had a lovely day with friend and her new baby but kept one eye on the phone all the time then thinking he will be home by the time I am back.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 31/01/2011 17:26

Could you make a call to one of his colleagues and ask them to find out discreetly if the meeting has finished?

Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 17:26

Got to collect DD2 from Pony club so back in 15mins. Hope he's back then.

OP posts:
mumbar · 31/01/2011 17:30

Maybe he came out of the meeting on a high - as good news and just forgot to turn on his phone?

Clutching at straws? Who knows, but let us know so we can support or celebrate with you either way.

doricpatter · 31/01/2011 17:31

Crossing everything for you.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 17:33

Did he forget to charge his phone maybe?

EverythingInMiniature · 31/01/2011 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mssoul · 31/01/2011 17:34

Good luck, been in a similar situ myself recently. Our outcome seemed awful at the time, but 3 months on we are getting back on our feet and dp is in a job which makes him much happier. He has been so strong throughout, but I still can't believe it happened. Crossing fingers for you Smile

MumInBeds · 31/01/2011 17:55

I hope he is back or calls soon with good news.

Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 18:00

Got home to phonecall from DH - he is stillawaiting decision- meeting only just finished! the panel are in the room next door making their decision.

He doesn't sound very positive but does usually expect the worse Sad

OP posts:
MrsTumbles · 31/01/2011 18:01

I hope it is good news! My DH always has a flat phone battery on days I need to contact him or am waiting for news.

Keeping things crossed for you :)

Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 18:02

Mssoul that is encouraging. I hope whatever happens that he gets a different job- he has been unhappy at the present place for past few years.

OP posts:
MrsTumbles · 31/01/2011 18:03

My god it takes me ages to type!

Take it as a good thing that the meeting has taken so long, if they wanted rid of him the meeting would have finished by 9:30.

Still keeping things crossed!

FabbyChic · 31/01/2011 18:03

Fingers crossed it is good news. Let us know.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 31/01/2011 18:06

Blimey that is a long day - he must be exhausted.

I hope it is good news - if it was a done deal that he should leave then surely they would have made a decision more quickly?

Fingers crossed.

Eglu · 31/01/2011 18:39

Agree with MrsTumbles on the fact that meeting has been so long means they are really thinking it through.

Hope he hears soon. It must have been an exhausting day for him too.

Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 21:20

Update- DH has been dismissed.

Finally had the verdict that it is the 'likelyhood of probability' that the allegations were true despite no supporting evidence. So that is it he can 'sign on' from tomorrow.

I am just gobsmacked- I know there are lots of people losing jobs thru no fault of their own and manage to survive but we have both always been in 'safe' jobs- nhs/ local council so have never faced this sort of thing before.

Union rep has said they can appeal within 5 days. But any other ideas about what we should/could be doing??- my income will not leave us eligible for benefits but have only just been making it to end of month on 2 wages. Has had offers of driving job from mate but not sure how definite that is so will start tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
aimingforthesky · 31/01/2011 21:21

so will start applying for jobs tomorrow

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 21:25

Is the dismissal fair? Or can he claim for unfair or constructive dismissal?

He may be entitled to some benefits based on his own NI contributions.

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