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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it's ok for a man to keep a diary

36 replies

RitaLynn · 31/01/2011 15:35

This is a thread about a thread, where there were other more important issues. However, some posters seemed to think that a man who get a diary was weird and should be ditched. I think it's fine for a man to keep a diary as it is for a woman. AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

RitaLynn · 31/01/2011 15:37

That should be "kept a diary"

OP posts:

LadyTremaine · 31/01/2011 15:38

It's a bit wierd for an adult to keep a diary... unless their an aspiring writer or really enjoy/are good at writing and it's more of a humourous memoir...

An adrian mole style diary like the one that poster described is just not what I would expect from a grown up that i would choose to spend my time with, sorry..

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 15:38

I've never seen the point in diaries at all but each to their own...no matter what the sex.

LadyTremaine · 31/01/2011 15:38

Adrian mole bad example as that is of course humourous, but you get my point.

OhForBoonessSake · 31/01/2011 15:39

i dont think it is weird at all for an adult, amn or woman, to keep a diary. what is weird about writing down their thoughts?

MrSpoc · 31/01/2011 15:39

I wish i had kept a diary when i was serving oversea's fir the Army. Only so i could look back at what we were doing and how bad my memory is.

TrillianAstra · 31/01/2011 15:40

I think it is unusual for an adult to keep a diary.

Original poster

RitaLynn · 31/01/2011 15:40

I personally find it can be quite good to keep a diary to jot down thoughts now and again and find it cathartic. My mum kept a diary as soon as my elder brother was born, to remember "the day we went to that beach", etc.

OP posts:

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 15:40

I don't think it's that odd.

Lots of aspiring writers keep that fact close to their chest, so what could seem strange might be aspirational.

Bucharest · 31/01/2011 15:41

Gosh yes, how unreasonable for someone to keep a diary...has he not heard of updating his FB status 395 times a day?

I'd like to see how much time people spend talking crap on FB statused compared to how much time people spend writing diaries.

MrsDeidreIppy · 31/01/2011 15:41

Oooo I think its quite lovely. I suspose lots of men keep blogs, surely thats not much different.

FreeButtonBee · 31/01/2011 15:41

Agreed.

I think that writing things down can really help clarify your thoughts. It can be a really useful tool to help you understand your own emotions and that applies equally to men and women.

And actually sometimes writing something down can help you change your mind about what you think. The exercise of writing and reading it back can change your perceptions. Which is why you should never read someone's else diary!

I kept a diary for a good 6-7 years and it helped me ground myself. It actually helped me see themes and repetition in my actions which I (eventually!) learnt to control better.

I don't keep one religiously now but do sometimes scribble away to myself occasionally.

OhForBoonessSake · 31/01/2011 15:43

i used to draw. not teh same as writing, but it was release teh same way i feel when i write thing down. it just gets the thougts out of my head and down on paper, like being able to look at your problem and see how to fix it.

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 15:43

Anyway, doesn't everyone use Facebook to jot down their boring, mundane day to day thoughts?

MinkyBorage · 31/01/2011 15:44

My Grandpa used to have pocket diaries in which he used to note things like the weather or the odd thought or plan as well as any arrangements he used to have. He dies at 92 and it was magic being able to look through, The gentle and short reflections of a happy man. It's a creative quiet reflective thing to do and may not be the sort of thing an alpha male rugby type might be in to. I guess it's what turns you on. Give me diary-man over neanderthal man any day!

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 31/01/2011 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headfairy · 31/01/2011 15:52

Depends if it's the Alan Clark type "I shagged so and so and her three daughters" titillation for us all to enjoy read in the Sundays or it's the godawful naval gazing self absorbed clap trap that we should all give up writing when we leave our teens behind. If it's the latter then I'd be getting out of there pretty sharpish.

ArsMamatoria · 31/01/2011 15:55

OH kept a very detailed diary and had done since the age of eight. He was a very talented writer.

Very glad he did as one day our daughters will be able to read them and feel they know their daddy a little better.

And a man keeping a diary odd? Had this person never heard of Pepys?!

Bluegrass · 31/01/2011 16:03

Men...having an interior emotional existence that they might want to reflect upon? Don't be ludicrous, it would only consist of:

Day 1: football is good
Day 2: norks are good
Day 3: writing stuff is hard
etc...

The very idea of it! You'll be suggesting they have feelings next.
[/sarcasm]

Original poster

RitaLynn · 31/01/2011 16:06

To be honest, this thread was about self-validation. Of course it's perfectly reasonable for a man to keep a diary, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a lunatic.

OP posts:

TrillianAstra · 31/01/2011 16:15

"To be honest, this thread was about self-validation"

If you don't want people to have the option of disagreeing don't post in AIBU.

Original poster

RitaLynn · 31/01/2011 16:18

That wasn't the point. People can disagree, but surely the point of AIBU is for the OP to come to a conclusion. I've reached mine, it's clearly not unreasonable for a man to keep a diary.

OP posts:

InterruptingCow · 31/01/2011 16:29

Can't believe people think it's odd for an adult to keep a diary. I've kept one since DS1 was born. It started off as a record of baby milestones. I still record family things in in - where we've gone, what we've done, etc - but I also find it very cathartic to write down my thoughts and feelings when I'm going through tough times. Also gives me something to do while the DSs are spending hours at the soft play area/playground!

perarduaadinfinitum · 31/01/2011 16:50

My miltary rugby playing DH keeps a journal.

BuzzLightBeer · 31/01/2011 16:58

I was on that thread and made one of the comments you're talking about. I said I wouldn't be with a man who wrote a diary, and I meant it, Thats my choice, I never went out with a man who didn't play the guitar either. I just don't like it.

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