to object to MIL reading my mail?

[elizabethtailored]

It drives me mad. Whenever she comes round she picks up cards on mantelpiece and reads them. I don't mind if it has been my or DH's birthday (although I still think it I would say 'do you mind if I look at your cards?) Cards sent from friends eg. on anniversary of my mother's death. These are personal and I don't feel I should have to hide them in my own house. She also does it with any post we have lying around - on kitchen table etc.

Am I being ridiculous??

Reading cards that are on display is one thing. I wouldnt mind that at all.

Reading post is completely unacceptable and I would be saying something.

Cards on display no problem. Reading post...big problem!! What a nosey cow

Snap Bubble

YANBU.

However, i'd be tempted to 'leave' a letter lying around that perhaps had details of an emmigration (sure a MN'er did that before) or for an appointment for DH with an STD clinic.

She her catsbum mouth then

Well you either have to call her on it (certainly on the post lying on the table bit) or else hide it. WHich would you rather do?

I am a confrontation avoiding wimp and tend to sit and seethe rather than actually dealing with it so have made resolution to be more assertive. Do you think a simple 'please stop reading my private letters' would be acceptable? Followed by a quick shove down the stairs?

Ought to do it!

well reading other people mail is illegal so i would say something

But do it about the letters, not about the cards on display.

What about what are clearly Valentines cards between me and DH sitting on the mantelpiece? Does that still come under the fine to pick up and read section as they are on display?

I think if its on the mantelpiece then it's fair game.
I tend not to put anything up if it has anything v personal in it.

You could always write in each others card a load of explicit fantasy about what you are going to do to each other.. and watch her go read as she reads it

read = red

Yes yes yes. I dont feel I should have to take down cards when she comes round - just know I would not dream of doing it at her house. Perhaps some gory details about licking pepto bismol off each others toes with demonstrative photos glued inside might make her back off? Shall try. Or mentions of involvement with farmyard animals..

Better than the immigration one, mock up a letter along the lines of

"Dear Ms Tailored

Thank you for your enquiry about residential accomodation for your Mother in Law. We currently have a vacant room available for viewing and would be happy for you to come for a visit at your convenience.

We are also able to assist you with the sale of your Mother in Laws property/effects to cover the cost of this, as you mentioned in your letter.

We look forward to hearing from you soon

Regrds

OLD BITCH CARE HOME
ADDRESS :- 500 miles from where you live"

:o:o:o

I think it's an invasion of privacy, even if cards are on display.

Bogey - I LOVE it. What a plan.

Last time, she actually was teetering on tip toes to get a soppy anniversary card down from a book case that DH had written me...

Grr...GRR..GRRRR.

Zukie - glad I am not alone! x

Bogeyface I have just laughed enough to disturb the baby. Inspired!

its not illegal to read someone elses mail, its illegal to open it.

Cards on display, fair game. Post, not so much.

I've always thought it was polite to show an interest in cards on display, e.g birthday cards - so I can say to MIL "oh how is so-and-so you used to work with?"
Even valentines cards - if they aren't for other people's eyes I wouldn't display them (oh I wish :o)

Post lying around otoh is completely different, wouldn't touch that unless I was asked to - we leave payslips/bank statements etc lying around and I'm sure MIL and mum don't look at them.

Bogeyface that's brilliant

OP - you have my sympathy! My MIL does this too (and see my thread from a couple of weeks ago in AIBU about her walking into my house without ringing the bell!)

I don't think it is acceptable to read cards on display. I have a friend who writes me letters in a card - why should I hide the card away in a drawer? Likewise friends/family often write a note in Christmas/birthday cards which is none of MILs business.

I'm a bit of a wimp too when it comes to confrontations - so I generally stand there cringing while she reads my cards.

PMSL at teetering on tip toes to read soppy card from your DH - my MIL would do this too!

i always read cards on display

they are on display, whats the problem

It's very rude to read your post - but you need to put it somewhere she can't find it.

Cards on display - tricky - I have been known to idly glance at someone's displayed cards, if they have to go to the loo or are otherwise engaged and I am on my own for a short while; but I wouldn't be trying to reach ones out of the way!

love Bogey's letter, btw - excellent!