My NCT group get on my TITS

[kittycat37]

We've known each other 4yrs.

I like some of them more than others. I like their kids and the fact that all our kids play happily together.

When we're together though I find them (the parents) materialistic, competitive, boring, cliquey..

Today the way they were talking about how much other peoples loft extensions must cost, the amount someone else's car must have cost, much they were spending on holidays abroad, and they were openly quizzing me about how much mortgage me and DH will be approved for (trying to buy a house). This made me quite cross.

All this talk about money and competitiveness makes me WANT TO PUKE.

I felt depressed after I saw them today. Mostly because they've become my main friends since having DC.

I reckon I need new friends. Or am I BU?

Keep up with the jonesy types are utter dullards - agree with others - bin!

NCT groups are usually great for a couple of years and then, having seen each other through the difficult early days/years they seem to gradually come to the end of their natural. It's not something to feel bad about - just time passing.

I can't comment on whether your NCT friends are "materialistic, competitive, boring, cliquey.." they might be, or maybe they're not but rather, sensing your indifference, are trying to find ground for conversation with you? Who knows? Only you. Either way you've outgrown them. I'd suggest its time to find additional friends and put a little distance between you & your NCT mates.

YANBU

If they are leaving you deflated then you have probably outgrown them,

FWIW I don't mind people droning on about their jobs so long as they have an interesting one. (about 5% of the population at my reckoning).

Motorway chat has to be the dullest, though.

What is 'motorway chat'????

id never heard expression "precious moments" til antenatal group.met the precious moments mamas and quickly got shot of them (but not til they had furnished me with some crackin lines and much mirth)

Is it when you tell people (in excruciating detail ) the route that you took to get somewhere? And possibly the alternative routes that you didn't take?

I never heard the phrase "precious moments" until you uttered it - on average 3 times per thread.

My first time mums group ( not nct) are brill. They are now my best buds and I see them every week or more!
There's a lot of us tho. Ten in all so a mix of personalities and this helps dilute any strong personalities down a bit. We are now fives yrs strong and I hope will be lifelong friends. I can't wait to go to one of the dcs weddings. Girls. I love ya x

Why don't you make some nice new friends? I was so lucky wth my NCT friends - the ones with similar values (mostly the primary school teachers and the nuses)became my best friends - we are like sisters years down the line. While I never quite bonded with the money led business ones.

im very effusive with use of precious moments,only 3 mentions,must have been style and beauty or gifted and talented.or other nocturnal thraeds no one reads

ROFL at TheCrackFox! That is so true!!

Crackfox

My NCT group are lovely. Not all 9 couples - but there is a sub-group I think of as the "core-four" - actually 5 now one of the husbands, lets call him "Mr Mom" jacked it in to look after his two.

Most our lot work part time and are home part time so there's a good balance.

There's none of the competitive £££ stuff - mainly because there is one couple who are super, duper, ridiculously, unfathomably wealthy and everyone else, no matter how nice or mortgage free their house is, cannot keep up, and that keeps everyone else nice and self-depreiciating in comparison. Uber-rich-yummy-mummy has pretty much dropped out of regular meets but we catch up with her every few months which is lovely so the rest of the time its just the regs and Mr Mom and we have a great time, meeting twice a week, once for soft play and once at someone's house.

Its very supportive but not in a "hugs hun" kind of way, not competitive anymore - perhaps was a little in the early days where everyone turned up and everyone had a PFB within weeks of the same age. Another leveller, and this is awful, is that the most competitive one's PFB ended up with rather a nasty behavioural problem which is only just starting to be ironed out - he's 3 and a half and he has a shrink

So we are all pretty close, but in a non cliquey non needy way, its lovely.

I think you need to try and dilute them with some other friends. I know what you mean, its that competitive money thing, I get it too

widen circLe and I am sure once you are less reliant on them, will be better

worst is FUCKING SCHOOLS, and people that can afford to move to get in better catchment areas

I HATE THEM!

Ditch them! It's quite clear that deep down you want to. If they don't make you feel good, then don't waste your time with them (God knows, you get precious little spare time when you have DCs). There's this received wisdom that you have to "stick together" with your NCT group, but that's just bollocks really. FWIW I ditched mine after around 3-4 months and I haven't missed them in the slightest.

Whereabouts are you? There might be some local MNers...

no compulsion to remain on touch just cause you all had weans at same time

I eschewed NCT in favour of the local GP surgery's antenatal class. At the time, we lived in a welltodo London burb and I just knew what the people at the NCT group would be like.

I kept in touch with 3 of the people from the doc's, got on really well with 2 of them. 7 years on, having moved away, I am still in regular contact with one.

Once they start school, you'll meet loads of other parents. Remember if they stay at the same school, you'll be with them for 6 years!

well wait til school starts do prepare yourself for the school gate competitive mums and their bragging about maximus.

Dull people are just ... Dulll. Whether they work or not. I am a housewife. I am not dull.

Op I am totally with you on the dreadful cost of car/house/holiday convos. Fortunately (for me) my housewife friends are a total laugh.

Go to your local toddler group, you might find some normal people there.

And SM - working dies not protect mothers from being dull, competitive or sanctimonious.

thanks for that heads up.nor does not working imbue enhanced parental attributes

I think some of the mums might have been quite nice but the organisers were a bunch of leftie kaftan wearing bean eaters who thought they knew more than the professionals. went to one ante-natal class and fled sharpish.

Never really understood the NCT thing. You are deliberately putting yourself with a group of people that will be comparing everything from size of bump to who has the 'best' buggy/house/baby clothes/most beautiful baby. The list could go on!

You haven't chosen each other because you genuinely like each other and find each other funny/interesting. People pretend that these groups exist for support, but we all know that although you may make genuine friendships, the real purpose is to see how you compare to other people. It's social jockeying.

V.true.

I would be a better mother if I worked but am on the redundancy shit heap.

Anyway at least I have good conversation.

hope things pick up,shame about stress you under

realistically any random group mums will be divergent individuals.much as lentil munchers and i am wooooooooman facilitators may push the mum-goddess agenda in reality we have nuances,likes,dislikes.being mums isn't in itself a unifying experience. we aren't homogeneous mass just because we became mums.the big con is the marketing,merchandising and push that as mummies we are all one