to think a bit of boredom isn't a bad thing?

[Kendodd]

Talking to other parents and child carers it seems to be a very bad thing, they have to be stimulated all the time or they're not learning. Why should we constantly entertain our children? If they are bored they are forced to use their imagination, be resourceful, find something to do. And if they can't do that, then tough, I'm bored sometimes, it's not the end of the world and I'm a parent not a red coat.

I know I won't win any mother of the year competitions but I'm not planing on entering any, flame me.

Kenodd - glad that life perked up when you escaped the boredom

When I escaped my home, more like.

I grew up without a telly in the house until I was nearly 10 - I wonder if that helped, as I am rarely bored. It's a bit of a foreign concept to me tbh.

Not sure - I have a very dear friend who did the no TV thing with her DCs and her DD has suffered hugely from boredom. TV can be fabulously stimulating - it's not all mind-numbing trash.

I think the kind of boredom that Bonsoir is referring to is probably real and to do with the pressure placed on children and teens - i.e., the pressure to excel academically - even if that is not where your talents lie, the pressure to be or do 'something', the pressures put on by parents who try to live their lives vicariously through their children. I can easily see that kind of boredom becoming a huge mental health issue.

The kind of boredom the OP describes as in the parent not being a 24 hour a day source of entertainment is quite different - as long as the opportunities are there for imaginative play/running around/losing oneself in a book or music - then that is the kind of boredom chidlren need to be able to handle, to encourage them to look for the opportunities that are all around them.

This afternoon my DDs said they were bored - 10 minutes later they were hosting a birthday party for one of their bears, compelte with party decorations all over the stairwell and landing, balloons (left over from last week's party and party games. I had to tear them away when it was bathtime - give me taht kind of boredom any day.

No it's definitely not, and as a result I watch a fair bit now I'm an adult

I love watching the classics with my DDs and am looking forward to the day when they're old enough for some of the films and series I loved growing up - TV is not the enemy.

TV is definitely NOT the enemy, I didn't say it was. I was just musing as to why some people get bored more than others. Thinking back to my childhood if I had told my mum I was bored she would've found me some housework pretty darn quick

Some people's brains need external stimulus more than others for genetic reasons, of that I am quite certain.

Some people have huge inner lives and can keep themselves occupied with seemingly very little to do for the outside world. This is not necessarily all that desirable a character trait...

but it's kind of assuming that those with TV's would always just sit their kids in front of the TV

we HAD a telly (massive big Redifusion job) but it wasn't on in the day time

we loved housework - my mum called it 'playing cinderella' and she's make us scrub the kitchen floor while occassionally comming in and being the wicked stepmum!

I must have a huge inner life then to match my huge outer butt

ROFL

Actually that's a really interesting point you raise about differeing capacities for having an inner life, Bonsoir. I wonder whether that is why some people turn to mind-altering substances? Me, I've always been terrified to do so - I didn't even smoke dope at unit, and this was in the Netherlands... The things that go on in my mind really don't need any further stimulation, I shudder to think of my imagination on drugs... It might even be that I write lengthy (very unpublished) novels as an outlet, and as for some of the things I dream, well, someone would have a field day with my subconscious.

I agree with pointythings - there are different types of boredom, and the sort the OP describes, i.e. not overscheduling your children so that they experience the mild 'boredom' that leads to creative play, is IMO definitely a good thing.
Our 5 year old does very little in the way of organised activity outside school - just swimming lessons - but I'd say he is almost never 'bored' because he draws, builds amazing spaceships out of lego, builds dens out of his bed covers etc etc etc. That's healthy boredom.

Try reading the Idler - Tom Hodgkinson has written a fantastic article called 'Leave them alone'
"Children these days seem to be endlessly busy. Where we have jobs, children are expected to have umpteen 'activities'. Ballet, tennis lessons, music class - every day they are being trained in something or other rather than just being left to play....Why can't they just muck around?"

My entire parenting philosophy is based on this article - all the precious mummies who plan activities for every second of their little darlings' life would do well to read it!

pointythings about 3 posts back that is...the conversation moved on somewhat whilst I was digging out the copy of the Idler .

Mamaduckbone,

Just read the Manifesto of the Idle Parent - that's me to a T.

Sign me up- I am the idle parent. Did you even see my other thread a while ago- Ban homework for primary school children.

Kendodd,

I am totally with you on that one.

Boredom does not lead to mental illness. How children are brought up leads to mental illness, what they enounter socially is what causes problems for children later on too.

Boredom is neither here nor there.

Time to be bored is one of the best things that you can give them.

I don't know about "bored" but my children do really seem to appreciate their Saturdays when I leave them to play all day at home while I catch up with all the housework. They NEVER say that they're bored but find their own things to do all day - draw, computer, dolls, cars, the Wii, etc but I do leave stuff pretty accessible for them to get on with. They love Saturdays most of all. in fact if we go out on a Saturday, we don't have as nice a weekend - they want to chill at home. I suppose this is to do with them being in pre and after school care in the week (due to me being in work). But I have got to say, I myself never feel bored. so perhaps it is a family attitude. I know what the op means though - there's definitely an obsession with parents entertaining their children. I love to do nice things with the children like cooking and painting but it is (for me) stuck in between a million jobs!

I would have hated as a child to have a mother always forcing me into things, I loved doing nothing and spent hours reading.
I don't know why parents get so worried about amusing their DC. I have always said 'a mother is many things but I am not a social secretary!'

My mum used to say

''boring people get bored''

Which translated ha ha I assume means

''find something to do''