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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get frustrated at the general rudeness of people

51 replies

deburca · 29/01/2011 18:15

Im sick to the back teeth of having to try and excuse myself to pass by people having conversations in the middle of a pathway, having rude customer service, sitting beside huge people on the bus so that I end up squashed against the window, holding the door open for someone who walzes by and doesn't say thankyou, need I go on ? - ma I add that all three of these things have happened to me today.

In the case of the huge lady on the bus she actually asked me to move over even more and I suggested she move seats as at present she was taking up her seat and a 1/3 of mine!

Feel a bit bad about it now but honestly Ive reached the end of my patience

deb

OP posts:
Original poster
deburca · 29/01/2011 18:16

sorry meant to say all 4 things happened to me today!

deb

OP posts:
southeastastra · 29/01/2011 18:18

people are generally rude and self important now

Original poster
deburca · 29/01/2011 18:20

why though? its more difficult to be rude I think. im like a bear after all that today! lol

OP posts:
seanbonbon · 29/01/2011 18:23

YANBU
Costs nothing to be polite and can actually make someones day if you actually make the effort to use half decent manners.

It is becoming rarer though- and yes I do blame the parents!

My bugbear is people saying "yes" or "no" when offered something

When we were kids my Dad would have killed us if we didn't say "Yes please" or "No thank you".
Small but makes a big difference I think.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/01/2011 18:34

err..being fat is not innately rude.

JamieLeeCurtis · 29/01/2011 18:37

YANBU, but I would take issue with the fat lady thing. Can't imagine she feels that great about being that big

TattyDevine · 29/01/2011 18:41

I feel the opposite. Everywhere I go I see the good and kind in people and am constantly surprised at how innately sweet people are.

It might be attitude, or I might just live in a really nice place.

I am lucky.

AMumInScotland · 29/01/2011 18:41

YANBU. I find saying "You're welcome!" when they waltz by without saying thank you makes me feel a bit better, even if it probably doesn't embarass them in the slightest.

JamieLeeCurtis · 29/01/2011 18:44

Tatty - I think it is attitude. I have had periods in my life when I have only noticed the bad, and discounted the good. Now, I do try my best to remember that the proportion of rude horrible people is really very small, but if you allow it to upset you, then it takes on a disproportionate amount of power. Also < gets on soap box > if you say something when people are rude, then you feel better, and not so helpless about it.

Honeybee79 · 29/01/2011 18:45

YANBU. Nice manners cost nothing. I always get the rage while out in central London, particularly anywhere near Oxford Street but then when I get back to my neighbourhood I'm always quite impressed by how nice people are in shops/cafes/pubs. Was at the bus stop up my road the other week and a lady was taken ill and people were crossing the road and coming out of their shops to help her. It was a relief to know that people are essentially decent round here.

Honeybee79 · 29/01/2011 18:46

JLC - definitely agree that it's sensible to say something in response to rude behaviour to avoid psychological festering and mounting rage.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 29/01/2011 18:48

What did the lady say when you suggested she move because she was taking up your seat as well as her own?

As a fatty, I would never have asked you to budge up. I would have been only too aware that my huge arse was the problem! I would probably have sat with one arse cheek hanging off the seat Grin

HecateQueenOfWitches · 29/01/2011 18:51

Oh, but as for the question why are people rude...

It's because, as a society, we are getting more and more selfish. Community is dying. Sense of responsibility is dying. People all know what their rights are but aren't so bothered about their responsibilities. The world is them and everyone else can fuck off.

I see this attitude more and more. Sadly. And when you stop seeing yourself as part of a community and stop seeing other people as just as important as you, the result - rudeness.

Honeybee79 · 29/01/2011 18:51

Also, meant to say that YABU re your attitude towards fat people methinks.

JaneS · 29/01/2011 18:53

When I am feeling really hacked off I do tend to say 'No problem!' loudly to a person who doesn't thank me when I let them through/move aside for them. Blush

But I probably shouldn't, it is very petty.

I think people can be very friendly and nice though. I was surprised by how many people were lovely to me in London the other day, when I was carrying a heavy bag and getting lost in the tube stations. The nice people far outnumbered the one who tutted, and that's not a stereotype I had of London and tube travel before, at all.

JamieLeeCurtis · 29/01/2011 18:53

Hecate - that's why I like it here in London. This part has a strong sense of community - a very "mixed" one too

Honeybee79 · 29/01/2011 18:55

Hecate - you are correct about the "rights" culture that pervades our society. I feel lucky to live somewhere (in London) with a lovely sense of community though and I have felt even more strongly about this since becoming a parent.

NorbertDentressangle · 29/01/2011 18:57

A waitress rolled her eyes at me the other day (in a 'FGS' type of way) and I was so close to telling her how rude she was.

Looking back I wished I'd said something but it riled me so much at the time that I didn't trust myself.

mummyflood · 29/01/2011 18:59

Totally agree. Have this discussion with DH regularly. Hecate has nailed it quite succinctly - I think it does seem that society is becoming more insular, more self-absorbed, and to be honest the sad thing is that I sometimes find myself wondering why I try so hard to teach my DC's respect, decency, manners and consideration for others when they don't see much demonstration of it on a daily basis!

JaneS · 29/01/2011 19:02

Why'd she roll her eyes Norbert? And did you tip?

I think we should know these things before we judge. Grin

olderandwider · 29/01/2011 19:02

I find most people are nice/reasonable/polite most of the time. Smile and the world smiles with you and all that.

Chandon · 29/01/2011 19:06

I must live in another country than you!

I think people are so nice most of the time.

if there was another seat for the fat lady to move to, I don't get why YOU didn't move to that seat>???!Confused

yabu

JamieLeeCurtis · 29/01/2011 19:08

I think people are on a shirt fuse, quite often, and the reaction they get can tip it really easily either way. I also think there are also plenty of examples in popular culture which seem to suggest that you don't have to control yourself, and you can state your opinions regardless of how it impacts on others. Reality TV is based on this whole premise - strangers being encouraged to be rude to each other

Big Brother
Come Dine with me
Wife Swap etc etc

and whilst I don't think this is what most normal people approve of, I do wonder the message it gives children

JamieLeeCurtis · 29/01/2011 19:09

shirt fuse ?? short fuse

NorbertDentressangle · 29/01/2011 19:10

LittleRedDragon -what happened was Waitress 1 took our order, I mentioned we had a BOGOF voucher and she said that was fine and to give it to her later. When we later asked Waitress 2 (just happened to catch her eye first)for the bill she brought it over and they hadn't taken into account the voucher.

When I pointed this out she rolled her eyes.

I did say something about the fact we had in fact told the other waitress about the voucher but it was only after she had walked away that I got more and more pissed off (inwardly)

(It was Cafe Rouge if anyone is interested)

Judge away......Wink

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