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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think I'm not being too strict?

37 replies

CherryPie3 · 29/01/2011 17:08

I try to encourage healthy eating in my kids, I don't let them snack on crap all the time, I limit the amount of tv time they have (including ps3) time.

But we have just visited dh's grandparents and have had a bollocking from his gm for saying ds wasn't allowed a second pack of popcorn. They have already been given a cornetto, and now they are being given chocolates.

Forgive the language but I'm so f**ked off!

OP posts:

peanutbutterkid · 29/01/2011 17:11

Hum...
Will it spoil him having a healthy tea later?
Is it the salt that bothers you?
Do they visit the grandparents often (or likely to ever visit often)?
How old are the DC?

You don't sound too strict at all, although if my kids rarely visited the grandparents I might let them indulge, especially older kids.

I severely limit screen time, too! Although Aric S-WhatsHisFace would say I'm not being strict enough.

nightshade · 29/01/2011 17:12

definitely not too strict, cornetto and popcorn and chocolates??? mine would have had one.

Chil1234 · 29/01/2011 17:13

Great part of being in a family is that your children experience all kinds of parenting styles. Grandparents can be strict or indulgent, parents ditto, aunts and uncles, ditto. If their lives were 100% controlled by 1 person (you) it would be very dull for them. Live a little :)

PigTail · 29/01/2011 17:16

You don't sound too strict, but great grandparents are on another planet regarding treats.

I caught my grandmother offering my 6 month old DS a Cadburys chocolate roll. Somehow I managed to stay extremely calm.

togarama · 29/01/2011 17:17

YANBU but I don't think the GPs are BU either as long as they don't see your kids every day and this is an occasional treat.

Having said that, popcorn can be a relatively healthy snack, depending on what type it is.

bubblewrapped · 29/01/2011 17:20

There is absolutely no harm in kids having occasional treats. It certainly not worth having a fall out with their great-randparents over for the sake of a visit to them.

Original poster

CherryPie3 · 29/01/2011 17:20

I see your points.
It is an occasional treat but I don't like having her finger pointing at me making me feel like a bad mother.
She just told me off again because I asked the kids not to climb/bounce on her sofas.

I just feel like she's undermining me :(

OP posts:

saffy85 · 29/01/2011 17:21

YANBU but great grandparents do stuff children full of sweets- they can't seem to help it.

I wouldn't have let DD (3) popcorn, ice cream and chocolate in one afternoon as she would end up with tummy ache but maybe it aleast one of the treats home for her to have tomorrow or something.

peanutbutterkid · 29/01/2011 17:23

If she really doesn't mind them jumping on her sofas then I'd let them carry on with the strict instruction they aren't to do that anywhere else! It's her sofa.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/01/2011 17:30

Children have been doted on and fed crap by grandparents since year dot, it's harmless in moderation. Let them eat cake I say !!

PS, wish my two had grandparents who cared enough about them to sneak em crap [benvy][bsad]

ratspeaker · 29/01/2011 17:30

it seems to be something the older generation does.
my mum brought me up with limits on sweets, healthy eating etc etc as I did with mine.
but whem my kids came along sweets were no object, crisps freely available and chewing gum allowed, something she banned us from ever having

< shrugs >

I suspect its a karmic thing, payback for when we misbehaved/whined/got up early/threw up over the best chair when little

On that note I intend to give any grandchildren cans of coke, Skittles and blue Smarties as they leave my house

valiumredhead · 29/01/2011 17:31

That's what Grandparents are meant to do!

usualsuspect · 29/01/2011 17:33

Lighten up fgs ...thats what grandparents are for

ratspeaker · 29/01/2011 17:33

When at grandmas let them do as she sees fit, as long as they know how to behave at home.
I'd go with "well if grandma says its ok you can do that here, but never do that at home"

pointydug · 29/01/2011 17:44

I don't think you;'re being too strict, no. Not at all.

It's fine for granny to bring a sweetie out the cupboard as a treat but it gets a little obscene and fetishy-feederish if they go over the top and are constantly giving sugary rubbish.

Cornetto, popcorn, chocolates - enough already.

FakePlasticTrees · 29/01/2011 17:54

Please don't let DCs jump on the sofa! (am rather paranoid about this one as about 5 years ago a worked with a woman who's DD died at the age of 4 from falling off the sofa when she'd been jumping up and down and breaking her neck - i know you can't wrap them up in cotton wool but this is one I don't allow ever...)

FakePlasticTrees · 29/01/2011 17:54

(and less dramatically, if they broke the sofa and you'd not said anything about stopping them, you know you'd feel compelled to pay for a replacement)

FakePlasticTrees · 29/01/2011 17:55

oh and YANBU. Obviously.

diddl · 29/01/2011 17:58

YANBU.

Any one would have been enough-and two lots of popcorn?

And they told you off for saying no?

doubleease · 29/01/2011 18:00

My exMIL stopped giving DD sweets and treats (especially things she was not allowed as it really affected her behaviour) against my wishes after the time I dropped DD off at her house telling her that DD had eaten lots of sweets and crap half an hour before just to show what she is like when she gives her them before returning DD home.

DD was bouncing off the walls so much, didn't eat the meal GM had lovingly slaved over all and was a complete nightmare. GM had to ring me to go and pick her up.

Problem solved. [grim]

doubleease · 29/01/2011 18:01

grim? obvs I meant

immortalbeloved · 29/01/2011 18:02

Spoiling is absolutely what grandparents are for,and a day of crap every so often won't hurt

However I would not take kindly to being 'told off' by anyone! So on that point YANBU

MadameCastafiore · 29/01/2011 18:03

I think you are being unreasonable - treats are exactely that and it won't kill them.

Blimey when I am a grandparent I am going to leave cut up mars bar and lemonade with suger in (gets rid of the fizz alledgedly - why???) by the bed for them to snack on in the morning because thats what being a grandparent is all about - spoling the kids and letting the parents pick up the peices!

My granma also let us have sugar sandwiches and have a small bowl of sugar to dip cut up apple in - I still remember it and it was wonderful and makes me smile.

hairyfairylights · 29/01/2011 18:09

Yanbu. Not at all.

Original poster

CherryPie3 · 29/01/2011 20:03

Thank you for all the replies, I agree that a treat is fine but I just didn't like the fact that I'd told 'gm' that the DVD hadn't had their tea yet and she was still offering rubbish. The kids did not eat their tea btw and are currently sulking/screaming in bed because gm said as it was a weekend they should be allowed to stay up.

Fed up! :(

OP posts:

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