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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my GP taking a personal ohine call in the middle of a consultation is really not on?

29 replies

WoodysHat · 28/01/2011 19:48

Have been suffering from PND and anxiety for some time now and have started having panic attacks this week too. I've known for weeks that I beeded to see my Dr but only just plucked up the courage to make an appointment for this afternoon.

He has been my GP for around 8 years or so, I find him easy to talk to, he is young (well, a few years older than me) and very laid back. His timekeeping is appalling though and all his patients automatically allow for a wait of at least 30mins after their appointment time before they are called. This is ofter due to him arriving at the surgery late in the mornings Hmm

Anyway, today he was running 1hr 20mins late so I was really quite on edge by the time I was called in to see him (not helped by having left my EBF baby at home with MIL and knew he was getting close to needing a feed). I found it really hard to start describing how I was feeling and his mobile kept ringing - I could see it was 121 calling with a message, He kept cancelling the call and we'd try and get back to what I was saying but each time it happened I was finding it more and more difficult to get back on track. It happened 3 or 4 times.

Then, just as I was telling him something extremely personal about what triggers my panic attacks his bloody mobile went again and he looked at it, said 'oh it's my daughter' then proceeded to answer it Shock

Now, his daughter is about 16 and lives with her mother (they are separated, small village where everyone knows everyone that's hhow I know all this) and I could hear every word she was saying.

DD: Hi Dad, you're probably at work?

Dr: Hi, yes, it's ok

DD: Are we seeing you tonight?

Dr: yes, shall we have a meal? Do you want to go out or shall I cook?

Anyway this continued until they agreed to meet at a restaurant, she checked if ok with her mother etc, you get the picture.

Then he turned to me and expected me to pick up where I left off! I couldn't so kind of went through the motions until I started to feel I was holding him up and he couldn't get me out of there quick enough!

I'm really upset as I really had to build myself up to even go there today, let alone open up to him yet he didn't pay any attention to me and I've come out none the wiser.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
WoodysHat · 28/01/2011 19:50

Oh shit, that should say phone in the title, fat fingers on iphone Blush Blush

OP posts:
IAmTheCookieMonster · 28/01/2011 19:50

i'd write him a letter explaining how that consultation made you feel.

That is awful!

nickytwotimes · 28/01/2011 19:50

yanbu

not very sensitive

scurryfunge · 28/01/2011 19:51

I'm sorry, I would be extremely rude and tell him to fuck right off, walk out and find myself another doctor.

Flisspaps · 28/01/2011 19:52

Letter to the Practice Manager. And one to him. Can you change GP?

expatinscotland · 28/01/2011 19:53

I'd write a complaint letter to the Practice Manager. That is completely fucking unprofessional. He is not paid to take personal calls that are non-emergencies, that's beyond the pale.

expatinscotland · 28/01/2011 19:54

I'd change doctors, too, or refuse to see him again and when asked why repeat, 'Because he's unprofessional and rude.'

brimfull · 28/01/2011 19:54

can you go to diff dr?

cupofteaplease · 28/01/2011 19:55

Oh God that is terrible, completely unprofessional. You were brave going to your GP in the first place (I too have had PND and still medicate for anxiety related depression, so I understand!) and you NEED to see another doctor ASAP.

Tokyotwist · 28/01/2011 19:55

I'm with the cookie monster. Write him a letter telling him just how you feel the consultation went or didn't and why.
The behaviour you describe is appalling. Even if the call was an emergency, it should be vetoed by his receptionist first.

expatinscotland · 28/01/2011 19:57

Screw writing him a letter. He doesn't care. He cares about his personal life more than his job and patients.

He deserves complained about.

woofie · 28/01/2011 19:57

Completely unacceptable. Yanbu

canyou · 28/01/2011 19:58

Poor you Shock that he had a personal mobile on though.
As an aside I used to suffer really bad panic attacks [and got better] but the only way I could explain it to the GP was write it down.
I just wrote what I felt and put it in a sealed envelope so I could not change it and handed it over, could you do that would it be easier then trying to find the right words?
I hope you feel better and get the help you need soon, You know you were very brave to get to the GP and speak to him I would be so Angry if I had been you there today.

onceamai · 28/01/2011 19:59

I went once, eventually picked up courage after 7 years of suffering a prolapsed bladder after a posterior birth. The GP was looking blotchy and upset and I asked if she was OK - she burst into tears and told me all about her problems about being gazumped. 15 minutes later I left, admittedly with a referral letter, but ever since she had been a snooty so and so in practice and out of practice, ie at school, and I'm not sure who's more embarassed tbh but I've certainly never since had an easy conversation and avoid her at the practice.

DublinMammy · 28/01/2011 20:02

Jesus that's appalling, poor you. Just leave and find another doctor. Don't even bother giving him any more of your time by writing a letter. Good luck with the PND.

charitygirl · 28/01/2011 20:02

That's not good! MY mum is a GP and if I call her when she's with a patient, she has sometimes picked up but always say quickly that she's with a patient and will call me back.

Agree with a letter to the practice manager - no need to include details of why you were there - it would have been inappropriate if you'd been there about a bunion. Just say how disappointed you were, and how far it fell below what you expect - that'll shame him!

Running 1hr20 behind is also shocking tho - and not the norm!

curlymama · 28/01/2011 20:12

Definately worth a formal complaint. write down the major details (time of your appt, time you went in etc) now so you don't forget anything.

The surgery will have a formal complaints procedure, find out what it is and use it.

I'm sorry you had such a hard time, it must have been awful for you. Make another appointment with another doctor, ask for a lady or something, and hopefully they will be able to help you while the complaint goes through.

octopusinabox · 28/01/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WoodysHat · 28/01/2011 20:23

Sorry for disappearing, just sorting kids' bedtime out. Thankyou for replies, I came out of there feeling really let down by him. He has been fantastic in the past and over the years I have forgiven his lateness and relaxed attitude as his skills as a GP far outweigh the negatives.

He concluded that there was nothing he could prescribe me for anxiety that would be safe when bf, he said I needed a break from the kids as he can't spend more than 3hrs at a time with his kids so no wonder I'm demented Shock and that I should stop bf, give DS a bottle as he is controlling me (he's 7months old ffs)

I need a new GP dont I?

OP posts:
eviscerateyourmemory · 28/01/2011 20:26

There are things that you can use for anxiety while breastfeeding, if medication is needed.
Sounds like there might be a better doctor out there for you!

eden263 · 28/01/2011 20:33

OMFG, He said WHAT??? Thank god you can see that's complete bollocks advice. Yes, change GPs ASAP, the man sounds like a nutter!

expatinscotland · 28/01/2011 20:33

'He concluded that there was nothing he could prescribe me for anxiety that would be safe when bf, he said I needed a break from the kids as he can't spend more than 3hrs at a time with his kids so no wonder I'm demented and that I should stop bf, give DS a bottle as he is controlling me (he's 7months old ffs)'

So in addition to being unprofessional and rude (1hr., 20 mins. late and there was no emergency and he's always regularly late) he's also lazy and incompetent.

Yes, you need to switch docs.

And complain about this one.

It's his job to devote time to patients in their allocated appointment, not attend to his non-emergency personal business.

Lovetheskinurine · 28/01/2011 20:35

If you still like him, you can still visit him in future for other problems. He was massively unprofessional but if you think his good points still outweigh his bad ones, I'd just get a second opinion about your anxiety. Are there other GPs in the practice? The letter idea that canyou suggested sounds really helpful.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2011 20:35

gp was totally unprofessional and you should complain

you were there to get help/talk to him and he wasnt taking any notice of you

smileyhappymummy · 28/01/2011 20:37

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

I am a GP and keep my mobile on silent whilst at work - check it periodically in case anything I need to know about - but in an emergency would expect to be contacted through reception and tbh not that many emergencies (like poorly kid needing picking up from nursery) that can't wait till end of consultation.

As you probably know, there are medications which can be useful for anxiety that can be used whilst breastfeeding - prob none licensed but a fair few with plenty of clinical experience to back them up. And no reason AT ALL you should stop breastfeeding (unless you wanted to of course, which is different!)

So maybe either switch GP - or if you have really been happy with him in the past go back to him but explain how you felt.

Really hope things improve for you soon.