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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed when "vegetarians" eat fish?

293 replies

purpleandpink · 28/01/2011 12:29

It cannot just be me who finds this irritating?

Someone who eats no meat, but does eat fish is a pescetarian. As a fully fledged vegetarian it bugs the HELL out of me when people say "I'm a veggie, but I eat fish" Or even worse "but I eat fish AND CHICKEN".....Angry

The problem is there are now so many of these "fish eating vegetarians" that people seem to assume all veggies eat fish, and when I eat out and ask what veggie choices there are, I get offered fish and the "true" veggie options are limited to perhaps 1 or 2 dishes.

I have no problem with people eating just fish but PLEASE do not call yourself a veggie when you clearly aren't one! I don't know why people do it, whether they think it's trendy or they are just lazy or confused about what they are.

I know this is a BIG rant but it really really annoys me. If I am a veggie and someone ask me "do you eat fish?" I practically rip their heads off (which I know is unreasonable but there you go Wink )

But AIBU to ask that people only call themselves vegetarians if they actually are one???

OP posts:
AllBellyandBoobs · 28/01/2011 15:28

I was a true veggie for 25 years. I now eat fish very occasionally and only if I know for a fact that it has been fished in a sustainable manner (which generally means I'll only eat it at home after I have sourced and bought it). I'll also, even more rarely, eat chicken that has been reared and killed by some friends of mine. I still don't eat red meat. When I'm out and about I often refer to myself as veggie as it makes it easier for me instead of having to explain the above all the time.

clumsymumluckybaby · 28/01/2011 15:31

this drives me farking crazy. it happenalot,in cafes,at weddings,in pubs,you ask for vegetarian,and the give you fucking fish.
the most annoying example however was when i took DD to her first day at nursery yesterday.
i said just before i left, "dont forget,she's vegetarian"

"yes,yes,lots of vegetarian kids here,dont worry.."

when i picked her up,she stank of fish...she'd had mackrel pate for her snack.Angry

the nursery worker just said
"oh, i thought vegies ate fish,all the other vegetarian children eat fish ... ohh you mean you're vegan dont you..."

Angry Angry Angry

que ranting about what is and isnt vegetarian/vegan/pescetarian,to a frankly,bewildered nursery worker...

so please FFS if you are a pescetarian,refer to yourself as such.

clumsymumluckybaby · 28/01/2011 15:33

very well said Hatterbox

oh screw it...

GMajor7 · 28/01/2011 15:34

Bit late to the thread but YANBU!

Ooooh it really gets my goat this one Angry

I'm vegetarian you fool, therefore no, I do not want the tuna pasta bake thank you!

kepler10b · 28/01/2011 15:35

there are also different types of vegetarian. some are ovo, some lacto and some ovo-lacto (most common in the west). i wonder if you clarify that when talking to people or get really annoyed if they assume you do or don't eat eggs or dairy?

as a once vegetarian but now an occassional pescatarian i find a lot of people look confused if you say you are a pescatarian so for ease of communication it can often be easier to say "i'm vegetarian but i eat fish". it may not be accurate but it's more comprehension-friendly.

kepler10b · 28/01/2011 15:36

btw i'd never assume someone who said they were vegetarian ate fish. i'd probably check if they ate eggs though as a lot of asian vegetarians don't.

mycarscallednev · 28/01/2011 15:39

Can someone explain why my strict veggie friend has a Radley leather handbag and has leather seats on both her cars? Maybe it's OK to sit on or carry things around with their skin, but not OK to eat the animals flesh. Rather be a confirmed meat-eater, but eat all the animal, and use the skin, than just want the one but not the other.

kepler10b · 28/01/2011 15:42

mycarscallednev....well quite. thing is i totally think people should follow their own conscience as much as they can but as we are all flawed and making mistakes it gets a bit annoying when people think that they have all the right lifestyle answers and start beating people with their moral superiority stick.

we are all human and we are all making mistakes and i'm a firm believer in people in glass houses not throwing stones.

eden263 · 28/01/2011 15:50

clumsymum You have my sympathy, we are vegan and one day my daughter came out of nursery stinking of something weird and savoury and with orange stuff all stuck round her face. When I asked what she'd had, they said 'oranges'...Now I'm no fool, and since I had been helping in their pre-school room for a while, I know they have wotsits on a pretty regular basis...after much raising of eyebrows and shaking of heads by the staff as to the 'mystery', I asked if the children had had wotsits for tea...to which I was told "she might have taken one off someone's plate when we weren't looking"...FFS! She was coated!!!

They "didn't know wotsits had proper cheese in"...aaaaargh!!!

Sorry, rant over! But...aaaargh!

clumsymumluckybaby · 28/01/2011 16:14

eden im Angry on your behalf,my sister is vegan,so is her DD,her DD is actually lactose intolerant as opposed to 'just' vegan by choice,although she'd have been vegan anyway,iyswim.

some idiot at a friends wedding gave her a bar of milk chocolate because she felt sorry for the poor deprived child,she was sick for days and days.SadAngry
now DN always says "no milk?no egg?no animal?" before accepting food...might teach DD the same line...

pinkcushion · 28/01/2011 16:19

Can someone explain why my strict veggie friend has a Radley leather handbag and has leather seats on both her cars?

Maybe you should ask your friend...Grin

Quenelle · 28/01/2011 16:22

YANBU I think some people just like to be something when really they just don't like beef or pork.

CuppaTeaJanice · 28/01/2011 16:27

I do find it strange when people choose to be vegetarian for 'meat is murder' type issues, and then happily tuck into a prawn sandwich Hmm. So it's not ok for one cow to die to feed a few hundred people, but fifty prawn lives lost for your one sarnie is perfectly acceptable?!!

I choose not to eat small animals/birds/fish because I want to minimise the number of creatures killed to feed me - I wonder if there is a name for that? Grin

belgo · 28/01/2011 16:32

I have a friend who describes herself as a flexitarian. Basically she doesn't eat meat unless she really wants toGrin

westerngirl · 28/01/2011 16:34

Never saw my 'vegetarian' bil eat a dinner without meat or fish in it. Don't know why he and 'mil' present him as a vegetarian. Just go 'really' 'cos I know I'm down the rabbit hole.

moodymama · 28/01/2011 16:36

CuppaTeaJanice - I am exactly the same! I don't want to be vegetarian but try to make sure I eat big animals so that fewer lives are lost per meal!

NoHunIntended · 28/01/2011 16:50

YANBU.

I wrote this last time on this thread:

As has already been stated, "vegetarians" do not eat fish. Fish has not been reclassified as a vegetable!

The majority of people understand that vegetarian means no dead animals on your plate, be they walking animals, flying or swimming.

Those who are pescetarians but call themselves vegetarian as it's easier, please consider this. What's 'convenient' for you is inconveniencing a whole heap of real vegetarians!
You are a PESTatarian!!!
You are perpetuating the ignorance.
Pescetarian, as a term, is not yet as widely known as vegetarian. But let's not dumb down and just accept that - let's educate those who don't know, rather than continue to confuse the issue.

Else, just don't label yourselves as anything! Simply say you'd like the vegetarian option.

I pick this issue up every time I see it, as otherwise it just gets perpetuated and the ignorance continues.
I seriously think it does the proper vegetarian movement a HUGE disservice. Being a proper vegetarian and getting told: "Oh, but you eat fish" is a massive bugbear for those committed to reducing the amount of animal suffering and death on this planet.

Lamorna · 28/01/2011 16:58

I don't really think it matters as long as they make it clear to the person who is catering for them. A lot of vegetarians are not very clued up on animal welfare anyway,they happily eat dairy products having not the slightest idea what is involved in milk production. It always seems odd to me that some won't eat beef but are happy to wear leather shoes, eat jelly babies and not inquire into the contents of the glue that they buy. The fact that they eat fish and call themselves vegetarian is neither here nor there.

jugglingjo · 28/01/2011 16:59

KTisPG - Nice one !

Though might not work for me if I'm going with fish. Possibly the eyelashes one might work Grin

AllBellyandBoobs · 28/01/2011 17:01

NoHunIntended
If your mission is to reduce the amount of animal suffering on this planet, I really hope you are a vegan and not just a vegetarian. The life of the average dairy cow is really not one full of joy and happiness

AnnieLobeseder · 28/01/2011 17:02

AllBellyandBoobs - we've covered this point already on the thread.

mutznutz · 28/01/2011 17:02

That's what I was saying earlier and got accused of being in a 'pedestal' lmao.

mutznutz · 28/01/2011 17:03

'on' not 'in' lol

TandB · 28/01/2011 17:06

I have been vegetarian for nearly 25 years and I can honestly say it does not remotely bother me what other people call themselves. It takes nothing away from me for someone else to say they are a vegetarian even if they aren't a 'proper one'. It's not a club. It's just a dietary choice.

I never have any difficulty with menu choices. When I go to a restaurant I check there are vegetarian choices and I choose something that is actually vegetarian. I have never been forced to eat fish just because it was labelled as vegetarian. When I go somewhere like a wedding, I write on the menu choice "no meat no fish".

It's not an issue because I simply make it clear what I do and do not eat. I think a lot of people would be more tolerant of vegetarians if vegetarians didn't spend so much time trying to prove that others are not doing it properly. Eat what you want to eat and call yourself whatever you want to call yourself. You are not defined by what you choose to put in stomach.

AnnieLobeseder · 28/01/2011 17:15

LOL at mutznuts in a pedestal!

I would have said the same to AllBelly but I don't like to repeat myself.