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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed when "vegetarians" eat fish?

293 replies

purpleandpink · 28/01/2011 12:29

It cannot just be me who finds this irritating?

Someone who eats no meat, but does eat fish is a pescetarian. As a fully fledged vegetarian it bugs the HELL out of me when people say "I'm a veggie, but I eat fish" Or even worse "but I eat fish AND CHICKEN".....Angry

The problem is there are now so many of these "fish eating vegetarians" that people seem to assume all veggies eat fish, and when I eat out and ask what veggie choices there are, I get offered fish and the "true" veggie options are limited to perhaps 1 or 2 dishes.

I have no problem with people eating just fish but PLEASE do not call yourself a veggie when you clearly aren't one! I don't know why people do it, whether they think it's trendy or they are just lazy or confused about what they are.

I know this is a BIG rant but it really really annoys me. If I am a veggie and someone ask me "do you eat fish?" I practically rip their heads off (which I know is unreasonable but there you go Wink )

But AIBU to ask that people only call themselves vegetarians if they actually are one???

OP posts:
Aims80 · 28/01/2011 13:57

It annoys me too (am veggie)- well, I mean I'm not sitting up at night seething but I find it a bit bizarre. A friend eats fish and chicken but calls herself a vegetarian, why?!

CatIsSleepy · 28/01/2011 13:58

I was a veggie fish eater for a long time. I'd have felt a right fool calling myself a pescetarian, and when asked if i was a vegetarian i would say no, i didn't eat meat but I did eat fish. So it was other people that tended to use the label vegetarian, not me.

it's not worth getting your knickers in a twist over, really

have no idea what to call myself now-i have started to eat chicken, but only buy free range/organic so tend to only eat it at home so i know what I'm eating. poncey bugger, maybe Grin

AndiMac · 28/01/2011 13:58

I have "vegetarian" friends who eat fish and rationalize with the thought that you wouldn't really want to cuddle a fish would you?

I'm not vegetarian by any means and it annoys me when they call themselves vegetarian but eat fish. It didn't until I found that there was a word for pescetarian (by the way, a "piscovore" eats only fish, for rockinhippy ;) ).

Calling something by the correct name isn't pretentious, it's being accurate. And I'm sure that lots of vegetarians would appreciate if more people knew the difference between vegetarian and pescetarian.

Mssoul · 28/01/2011 14:00

YABU People can do/eat/call themselves what they want. Why do you care?

What about socialists who buy houses? Wink
French people who dislike garlic?

Off to think of more...

jugglingjo · 28/01/2011 14:00

Not really, Missmehalia.

It's more don't want to eat the intelligent, mammalian ones.

As I said, like Rockinhippy, I've caught, killed and gutted fish ( occasionally ) and still felt reasonably happy to eat them.
( Call me heartless ! )

Might change my mind though one day. All this is not set in stone for me or many others.
Perhaps we're on a bit of a journey, and still reflecting on what feels right for us ! Smile

Seems unfortunate for veggies to be annoyed with those who have taken some steps towards joining them.
Though I can see it is annoying to be offered fish when you've just said you don't eat it. Hmm

eden263 · 28/01/2011 14:02

YANBU. It doesn't annoy me to the extent it does you, but I find people, unless veggie or vegan themselves, can be utterly clueless about the terms. I'm vegan and was veggie for a very long time before that (in ignorance, turned vegan immediately I found out the truth of the dairy industry) and have been offered fish, chicken and (meat) sausages as veggie options in the past!

But yes, a slight niggle about claiming to be veggie if you eat any kind of dead creature.

halfcaff · 28/01/2011 14:04

It might be just a shorthand way of saying what someone will eat if you are inviting them for a meal, for example, but no excuse really. I am a lapsed veggie but always quite honest about this, and blame my dh! I think I may have been guilty as a young innocent thing of saying 'veggie but eat fish' but grew out of that and stopped eating fish for about 12 years anyway.
Try living in France where anything that is not red and bleeding seems to be classified as vegetarian! (Fish, ham, bacon, chicken, etc)

Original poster
purpleandpink · 28/01/2011 14:06

BreconBeBuggered - yes, you have hit the nail on the head! It's not about caring what people do/don't choose to it and it is all about the impact it has on menu choices. Many people now assume that veggie's will eat fish, so think including fish dishes on the menu is enough. It also makes it hard for strict veggies like me to trust the menu - I have asked in restaurants before and discovered that something with a "v" against it contained prawns, for example. More than once I have had chefs insisting that veggies to eat fish and that I must actually be a vegan, which is quite tiresome.

I guess to non veggies it might seem like a storm in a teacup, but I do like to eat out and it just makes it that much harder to do it in confidence.

My kids are actually not veggies as I am pro choice - the only thing I insist on is that we spend more to buy organic, free range meat and I use all of it (eg make stock from the bones and so on) so it has had a half decent life and that it's death wasn't in vain.

So it really isn't a moral high horse thing, just a practical issue.

Glad to know the majority do not think I iabu. Smile

OP posts:
monkeyflippers · 28/01/2011 14:08

I'm am veggie (or so I say) but I eat a bit of fish but not always and only some fish. I refer to myself as a veggie because if I say that I don't eat meat then people say "oh so just chicken". Or if I say I eat fish then people assume I eat shellfish and prawns which I don't. It's just to keep things simpler and is not trying to mislead anyone or piss anyone off!

monkeyflippers · 28/01/2011 14:08

Actually can I just add that I think there are more important things in life to be annoyed about. Ta

GeoCaching · 28/01/2011 14:09

Really "grinds my gears" too! I think it's smugness combined with the ignorance. I'm an omnivore myself and have no truck with any diet, so long as it's healthy. I even went 100% veggie for a month (no additives etc, as well as the obvious no food with faces!), enjoyed it, but was glad when it was over!

GeoCaching · 28/01/2011 14:10

monkeyflippers so long as you don't think that you are actually a vegetarian then Smile

Melissaanddoug · 28/01/2011 14:16

Vegan, as I understand it, is no food from animals, fish, bird, insect origin, includes honey.

I'm veggie, I have veggie friends who describe their diet to exclude " anything with eyelashes" or "anythingwith a face",,!

schroeder · 28/01/2011 14:21

I remember seeing tuna lasagne as a vegetarian option on a pub menu years ago; makes you wonder what other ingredients the chef would consider vegetarian-chicken stock, bacon,prawns and so on?

So yes it drives me nuts!

ChinaCup · 28/01/2011 14:23

YANBU. My mother is a pesky-tarian and it winds me up no end when she asks for the "vegetarian" fish option.

mayorquimby · 28/01/2011 14:25

I hate all vegetarians. I don't have time to discriminate against the different sub-genres.

curlymama · 28/01/2011 14:30

YANBU. It winds me up that someone thinks they have some sort of moral highground for not eating meat, but then they go on to enjoy cod and chips.

Do these people think fish don't suffer when they are killed? What makes it ok to suffocate and paralyse and whack hundereds of fish in one go, but not ok to kill a cow?

I don't get it.

monkeyflippers · 28/01/2011 14:32

Do these people think fish don't suffer when they are killed? What makes it ok to suffocate and paralyse and whack hundereds of fish in one go, but not ok to kill a cow?

Ok . . . think I just gave up fish!

fizzpops · 28/01/2011 14:32

I don't eat meat but only certain types of fish and I find it is easier to say 'vegetarian' rather than explaining my complex food preferences - especially if someone is inviting me to their house for dinner.

What annoys me more is people assuming that all people shunning meat do so for ethical reasons and start interrogating me about leather shoes etc.

I have never been offered fish or chicken as a vegetarian option although have seen it on menus under the vegetarian section.

missmehalia · 28/01/2011 14:32

I love the veggie/non-veggie debate. It's got all kinds of off-shoots. Personally, am an omnivore, as I think it's what many of us were made for. I tried to go vegan for a bit, it made me feel quite sick and empty, and I couldn't stop shivering, and that was a mid-summer when I thought it would be easy. And that was a very balanced diet designed by a nutritionist.. I just don't think some of us are cut out for it constitutionally.

missmehalia · 28/01/2011 14:33

And anyone who thinks that eating fish is the most ethically sound offshoot, watch some of Hugh F-W's latest Fish Fight programmes!

monkeyflippers · 28/01/2011 14:33

missmehalia eek that doesn't sound good!

David51 · 28/01/2011 15:09

Fact BBC's Susanna Reid is a pescetarian

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susanna_Reid

Hatterbox · 28/01/2011 15:12

YANBU.

The official definition of a vegetarian is...

"Someone who lives on a diet of grains, pulses, nuts, seeds, vegetables and fruits with, or without, the use of dairy products and eggs. A vegetarian does not eat any meat, poultry, game, fish, shellfish or by-products of slaughter."

Source: The Vegetarian Society

A person who does not eat meat, poultry or game, but eats fish and/or shellfish is NOT a vegetarian.

Non-vegetarians calling themselves 'vegetarian', makes life difficult for us REAL vegetarians, because there are people who seem to be of the assumption we eat fish. I went to a wedding once, where I was one of only three (proper) vegetarians, and our veggie option was salmon. Confused

If you eat fish, but not meat and poultry, refer to yourself as pescetarian because the only reason people aren't familiar with the term 'pescetarian' is because people aren't using it. If pescetarians actually referred to themselves as such, more people would know what the damn word means!

eden263 · 28/01/2011 15:18