Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel offended that my over night guest brought his own towels?

74 replies

mousymouse · 28/01/2011 08:16

my father stays with us for a few days.
he has brought his own towels, or rather my bonkers mother has packed them for him.
I have plenty of clean, soft, lovely towel.
aibu to feel a bit offended?

OP posts:
octopusinabox · 28/01/2011 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra · 28/01/2011 09:21

YABU. You have less washing to do. Be happy. He didn't say your towels had nits, did he?

Original poster
mousymouse · 28/01/2011 09:24

Trillian, that made me laugh Grin
no he didn*t say they had nits, he said 'oh, can you give me one of your lovely soft towels?'. knowing how the sandpaper towels at his home are I am happy to oblige Wink

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 28/01/2011 09:24

If your mother is being passive aggressive, then getting stressed about the towels is you letting her win.

You shouldn't give it a second thought. As you can see, most of us wouldn't.

mutznutz · 28/01/2011 09:27

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I do think 'overnight guest' is a strange way to describe your Dad though Lol.

StillSquiffy · 28/01/2011 09:29

Generational. My parents always pack their own towels wherever they go.

Chil1234 · 28/01/2011 09:30

When my parents come to stay they not only bring their own towels but also their preferred brand of margarine. :) Life's too short to get offended by trivia

Aims80 · 28/01/2011 09:33

Why don't you ask him? I don't understand families who can't even bring up a tiny thing like this. I'd just say, why have you brought towels you plonker?

It's clearly just your mum trying to help though.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 28/01/2011 09:34

I always take my own towels with me when I stay away no matter where it is (yes even hotels where towels are supplied Blush). 'twas the way I was brought up.

starlingsintheslipstream · 28/01/2011 09:34

Gosh, I always take towels! It had never occurred to me that people would think it odd or rude! Now I'm worrying about things I never thought I needed to worry about - mumsnet has a lot to answer for Grin

Smallstuff · 28/01/2011 09:45

YABU....be grateful for less washing. When my ILs come not only do I provide towels etc but I also do their washing for them....I kid you not that they generate A WHOLE LOAD between them every day.....they want their towels, cotton hankies, bra, and the, at least, two changes of clothing washed every day.......this is regardless of whether (like this weekend) I am hosting a family roast meal for 12..... She waltzes in with about 10 minutes to go before dinner is ready with a whole load asking if I could just 'pop' it on....
And breathe.......

DitaVonCheese · 28/01/2011 09:57

YABa bit mental. I've heard both my mum and my aunt complain about having to wash towels that have only been used by guests once so always take a towel with me to spare my host hassle. DH always forgets though, so between us we tick all the boxes so either cause no or maximum offence Wink

Quenelle · 28/01/2011 09:59

YABU He's saving you some washing.

We have an agreement with our group of friends, when we visit each other for overnight stays we take our own duvet and pillows. It saves the host having to wash theirs after only one night's use.

Is this the coffee percolator Dad? You seem to have a bit of a problem with his visit.

mutznutz · 28/01/2011 10:03

My BIL has real trouble sleeping anywhere but in his own bed...I mean proper trouble to the point where he needs sleeping pills.

He's a business man and through the course of his work, he and my Sister are often invited to stay in lavish, posh hotel suites with all expenses paid.

Imagine my Sister's embarrassment when my BIL insists on turning up with their double duvet rolled up under his arm and his favourite pillow...cos it helps him settle Blush Grin

dontcallmepeanut · 28/01/2011 10:07

YABU

My family have always done this. It's not him saying your towels are not good enough. It could be him planning for if you don't have enough towels at any point, or for any number of reasons.

SaggyOldBaggyOld · 28/01/2011 10:08

YABU I'd be over the bloody moon if my folks brought their own towels as it saves me washing. I'm sure that's why your dad did it. I'm open with my parents so if i had an issue I'd ask them outright why they felt the need. But it wouldn't be an issue for me.
Mine even bring their own Pillows.

Ariesgirl · 28/01/2011 10:09

Get over it.

My mum brings her own pillows and duvet despite my assurances that we have plenty. She will also refuse to visit between October and May, saying our house is too cold for her.

Just ignore it.

OTheHugeManatee · 28/01/2011 10:14

YAB a bit U. They might just have different expectations. It's not a calculated slight to your towels.

dessen · 28/01/2011 10:16

How super - less washing & drying

lesley33 · 28/01/2011 10:21

I always take my own towels to reduce the amount of washing for family or friends. It seems a strange thing to get offended by TBH.

Shodan · 28/01/2011 10:23

"My BIL has real trouble sleeping anywhere but in his own bed...I mean proper trouble to the point where he needs sleeping pills."

"BIL insists on turning up with their double duvet rolled up under his arm and his favourite pillow...cos it helps him settle"

Oh dear. That's me to a t. I've even wrestled a self-inflating airmat into my suitcase for holidays abroad where I can't be sure of the softness of the bed. Blush

I take towels when I visit- although I was forced to leave them at home by DH when we went to S.A for 3 weeks to visit his parents on the grounds that his mother would be mortally offended. It felt v strange.

redpanda13 · 28/01/2011 10:46

Could he have picked up a skin infection like impetigo that he is too embarressed to mention but does not want to pass on?
I took towels for my DD when I stayed at DB's and Dsil's house. I did tell them it was because she has molluscum contagiosum but sometimes older people do not admit to these things.
I would'nt be offended as everyone else has said it means less washing for you.

sheeplikessleep · 28/01/2011 10:50

YABU. it's just a towel.

KnittedBreast · 28/01/2011 10:52

yabu. i know quite a lot of people who are a bit funny about sharing towels even with family members and i can understand it. its nothing against you just like they wouldnt use your flannel or toothbrush.

I wouldnt get upset over it at all

DitaVonCheese · 28/01/2011 19:07

Knitted I was once offered use of "the guest toothbrush" Shock Oddly, I politely declined.