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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed by this woman in charity shop?

29 replies

WhiteLight · 27/01/2011 23:51

I took 2 big bags of clothes to the charity shop today. The shop is on a busy main road but has a car park at the rear, and a back door with a bell on it so you can ring and drop stuff off.

So, I park at the back door and DS(4) is in the car. I tell him to stay in his seat, I'm just going to ring the bell and hand in these bags. I ring and get no answer, so walk round the building to the front of the shop, where I'm met by a surly woman who didn't thank me for the bags and when I said I'd rung the bell, she didn't apologise for not answering.

Still with me? Thanks, I'll continue...

Anyway, I said to her that my car was at the back door and DS was in the car, and could I nip out through the back door of the shop to save walking all the way round, and she said no I couldn't. OK, I'd only asked on the off chance anyway.

So I walk all the way back round to the car and as I pass the back door of the shop, she's standing outside it with the door open, having a fag!

AIBU to be annoyed at her for:

a) not answering the door
b) not thanking me for the donation
c) not letting me out the back door (soft one)
d) having the cheek to be out smoking a fag at said door

OP posts:
Serendippy · 27/01/2011 23:52

YANBU but you will forget about it soon enough. Not too traumatic Wink

BluddyMoFo · 27/01/2011 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woollyideas · 27/01/2011 23:56

All of them. a, b, c and d. And I bet she rifled through your stuff as soon as you left and kept all the best things for herself (without paying for them).

Cow.

Original poster
WhiteLight · 27/01/2011 23:57

Not traumatic, just bloody annoying.

DH said I should have asked her for the bags back and dropped them off at the Marie Curie shop 4 doors down. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteLight · 27/01/2011 23:58

It wouldn't have surprised me Wooly. She had that look about her.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteLight · 27/01/2011 23:58

Did I say DS? I mean I left the dog in the car. Hmm

OP posts:
MsKLo · 27/01/2011 23:59

I would complain to the manager of the shop!

Bloody rude hag she is! Tell on her the ungrateful cow!

And yes I am being serious - rude hags like her should not get away with behaviour like that

prettymuchapixiegirl · 28/01/2011 00:00

She sounds like "Computer says No" woman from Little Britain.

YANBU. I'd have demanded the stuff back and taken it to another charity shop where it would be appreciated.

I've stopped giving stuff to charity shops now as I have recently taken things to my local one and the lady there got a bit huffy and said they were getting so much stuff they couldn't possibly take much more. So now when I've had a sort out I offer it all on Freecycle as a job lot suitable for car booters. And then the recipient comes and collects it all. Or I donate to jumble sales held at the local scout hut.

Original poster
WhiteLight · 28/01/2011 00:02

I actually thought about emailing the company. I'm guessing the staff are volunteers, but it's put me off giving them any more of my unwanted crap clothes.

OP posts:
Serendippy · 28/01/2011 00:07

To play devil's advocate, it is possible that she:
a) Didn't hear the bell
b) Genuinely forgot to thank you
c) Is not allowed to let members of the public have access to the back door, maybe goes through staff cloakroom or office with safe in or the like
d) Had a fag out the back door because that is where she is told to go on her fag break

Unless she was giving you the finger and shouting 'Ha, made your life harder, didn't I', I would let it go.

BALD · 28/01/2011 00:07

lol

I know I say Boys Are Like Dogs, but they're not, not really

MrsSnow · 28/01/2011 00:08

YANBU

Fetlock · 28/01/2011 00:08

where i live there are about 4/5 charity shops all fighting for donations, half of which get pinched when dumped in the street. i took a bag of (nice) stuff into one (it is the underdog of the bunch, miserable selection of stuff so i prefer to take mine into them as i feel sorry for it as it seems to be neglected), anyway, some miserable old bag grunted when i politely took the bag in, asked me if the stuff was 'clean' after telling her it was clothes (she asked). she then pointed to the back and told me to dump it there (she was so rude in the way she spoke to me), i was really shocked at her bloody unecessary rudeness. i had a go at her and told her she shouldn't be inflicted on the general public and that she wasn't doing the charity which she represented any favours but i still dumped the stuff in the back as i didn't see why the charity should suffer out of principle because of her. there is another charity shop up the road which also seems to employ really rude old women, no idea why they ahve to be so rude and agressive.

MissQue · 28/01/2011 00:24

I would be well pissed off at such rudeness. Volunteer or employee, you are representing that charity and should conduct yourself appropriately in a polite and friendly manner.

TwoIfBySea · 28/01/2011 00:29

YANBU and I would definitely complain. I've noticed some charity shops have a real attitude when accepting things so now I just put the stuff in the collecting bins at the recycling centre.

Bluesatinsashes · 28/01/2011 00:40

A few years ago I persuaded Ds to part with a much loved baby toy (tall plastic spiral thingy that played music when you pushed balls through holes at the top). He'd really looked after it, so it was like new. I'd had a long chat with him about how he had lots of lovely new toys and it would very nice of him to give it to the charity shop so another child could enjoy it as much as he had. So, we go to the local shop, we're the only customers, he is proudly carrying the rather large toy. I say, "we've got a donation for you". Shop assistant glares at DS and says, "put it out the back". That's it! Not even a thank you or a smile.

RavenHairedPrincess · 28/01/2011 00:50

Bluesatin that makes so Sad and Angry

OldBagWantsNewBag · 28/01/2011 01:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jester68 · 28/01/2011 07:38

I understand where you are coming from. We pick the charity shops we give donations too now- the ones who are polite!

Took some to one and they were really haughty. No thankyou and complained that they would have lots to sort out now Hmm

The others are always grateful. So we stick with them now.

The one we mainly use lets us use the back entrance as they can then just put the bags straight out the back for sorting. You ring the bell then they will come and answer and we take the stuff in for them and leave them in back room.

Bugbear of mine when people smoke directly by a shop door- especially when you have to walk through the smoke to get in. Loads of the shops around here people do that- staff and customers alike.

onmyfeet · 28/01/2011 07:45

a) not answering the door Perhaps in the bathroom?
b) not thanking me for the donation Very Rude.
c) not letting me out the back door (soft one)Probably rules.
d) having the cheek to be out smoking a fag at said door. Possibly went to check on your ds dog?

onmyfeet · 28/01/2011 07:45

Hmmm at --

Idontknowhowtohelpher · 28/01/2011 08:16

After my mum died my dad spent a long time sorting out her clothes. (Very nice quality stuff) He washed them all, then wrapped the best ones in tissue paper and layered them in three boxes. He took them to a charity shop and carried the first box in. He said in a slightly choked way - these were my wife's, I have more in the car. The shop "assistant" said - oh, stick them there and put the others out the back, I'll have a look at them when I can. No thankyou or anything.
He went home and cried. Sad

Myleetlepony · 28/01/2011 08:22

"they employ really rude old women" - no, they don't. The old women are volunteers. I know that's no excuse, but they aren't paid. I've never experienced rude helpers in charity shops and I use them a lot. If I did however, I'd let the charity know.
Idontknow - that is heartbreaking. Sad

BluddyMoFo · 28/01/2011 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Idontknowhowtohelpher · 28/01/2011 08:34

Well, I know (logically) that it was just another donation to them. and they might have thought that the tissue paper was over the top - yes, it probably was. But it was a huge thing for him, and they must have similar experiences most weeks - and I just thought that it would only have taken a little bit of kindness to a sad old man to have made him feel a tiny bit better. It was a cancer charity shop and my mum had died of cancer so he had all sorts of mixed feelings about the donation.