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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to hate the phrase "I've worked hard all my life..."

77 replies

woollyideas · 27/01/2011 23:05

Why do people say it? I don't like it and think people who say it should have an immediate custodial sentence.

I mean, what IS their point?

OP posts:

pascoe28 · 27/01/2011 23:41

missalien - why?

BeerTricksPotter · 27/01/2011 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhinestone · 27/01/2011 23:52

Pascoe - unless you can prove you're a sweet old person you're first in line to get locked up!! Woolly's new regime is pretty unforgiving!

velouria · 27/01/2011 23:58

Their point is probably that hey have worked hard all their life and only made rich people richer. Like my Mum who never actually got to enjoy retirement (smoking, what can you do).

Fair enough she obviously didn't have ambition, but when the livelihood of lots of people depends on you working it's tough. Lots of people do work like bastards all their life then die.

I think they probably just mean they want to be treated with respect. Hard to come by now.

Laquitar · 27/01/2011 23:59

Hmm i think it usually comes from those who haven't acttually worked hard, at least that's the case among the people i know. Some with huge parental help, some who married rich husbands, some with very easy jobs, some who have worked hard for about a year in their life and keep going on about it (my sil ).

I think they know that others see them as lazy or lucky so they become defensive and repeat the same line.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 27/01/2011 23:59

Mofo...I read about a similar couple...and when the man's wife had died, some local business sent him off on his own...abroad...it was really good for him...abou a year after her death he went and he said he felt better knowing that she would know he had seen it for both of them...

Laquitar · 28/01/2011 00:05

I know someone who's 36 and retired . He keeps saying 'i've worked hard all my life to be where i am'

missalien · 28/01/2011 00:15

Pascoe I guess its one persons life choices against anothers . Oh but one has the best things in life because its been worked for . The other will take another path , eugh, its got quite heated and I have a minority view point pm best shut up :-( its just very sad . Apologies for being cryptic .

MrsCrafty · 28/01/2011 00:45

What's wrong with working hard all of your life. My husband worked from the age of 15, he is now 59 and is literally on his last legs. I have worked since I finished college too. The pair of us have roped up a grand total of 68 years paying tax and working for a flippin living.

At what point is this wrong? Are we not allowed to be very fucked off with those who don't then?

Don't tell me that we have not worked very fucking hard please. Cheeky Mare.

MamaChocolat · 28/01/2011 00:45

Not ALL their life. Like changing own nappies and stuff. Sometimes when they wre little they lay about and slept and watched Pipkins and had chocolate biscuits.

anonymosity · 28/01/2011 01:54

I think the phrase comes from people believing that if you have worked hard all your life, then you deserve something that someone who hasn't does not. And I think I've heard it most when people are defending their own materialism, or showing distain for someone who has "run into good luck" and not "worked hard their whole life"

Either way, its a bore and a cliche.

Original poster

woollyideas · 28/01/2011 08:43

"I think the phrase comes from people believing that if you have worked hard all your life, then you deserve something that someone who hasn't does not"
(Anonymosity)

(or someone who has, but hasn't managed to earn the same amount)?

I think that's why it is so grating...

OP posts:

BaggedandTagged · 28/01/2011 08:51

I disagree actually. I think when people say it (and they are usually old people) it's because they feel pretty disillusioned that they've been sold a dummy and despite paying their taxes and NI all their life are rotting in some grotty flat and are on a 2 yr waiting list for a hip replacement.

Like, allegedly if I keep paying NI then I'll get a pension when I retire. Will I fuck. Might as well accept it now to save me being bitter later.

QuintessentialShadows · 28/01/2011 08:52

Bluddy, sounds a bit like my parents. They saved all their lives, working hard till retirement, then they should travel. 14 days after they retired my father had a stroke and ended up paralyzed in a wheelchair, and my mum became his carer. 10 years down the line, the role reverse and my paralyzed father try to look after my mum who has developed dementia (became a danger to herself and I had to have her sectioned two weeks ago). I am sat with his funds and stock portfolio in front of me, been asked to sell the lot (not that much) to see if we can raise enough for a flat in a sheltered housing complex.

Mostly I think "I have worked hard all my life" is a poor old soul trying to justify his life, choices and little luxuries to himself and the world.

BaggedandTagged · 28/01/2011 08:59

Quintessentially- I'm so sorry- that really sucks.

There are so many people who despite not being in fantastically well paid jobs have tried to be independent, supported themselves and their families all their lives, and then life comes and bites them on the arse just as they might get around to reaping the benefits.

brightlightsandpromises · 28/01/2011 09:11

I've worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends, so Lord wont you buy me a Mercedes Benz!

brightlightsandpromises · 28/01/2011 09:12

Quint :( so sorry, so unfair

hairyfairylights · 28/01/2011 09:30

I said it, when my exes ex wife tried making out it was somehow unfair that I had got my nice car while she was driving a "rust bucket".. Heroarents bought her house and her car.

I also said it when the nhs was messing me
about. I've paid tax and ni fir over twenty years but I have to fight for nice guidelines investigations ... And pay for it privately due to frustration.

OTheHugeManatee · 28/01/2011 09:49

I think if someone has worked hard all their life they should feel more pride than someone who hasn't. What's so strange about that?

It's equally annoying if someone sits on their arse all their life and gets their parents to pay, as if someone sits on their arse all their life and expects the state to pay. In both cases you're sitting on your arse and thinking the world owes you a living.

ISNT · 28/01/2011 09:50

There was a thread on here recently where people were using "they worked hard all their lives" to justify someone's parents being right tight-fisted bastards.

I too find that people usually use it to justify someone saying/doing something horrible.

southeastastra · 28/01/2011 09:50

er probably because they've seen lots sitting on their arses doing nothing and getting everything, just a thought

frasersmummy · 28/01/2011 09:56

my inlaws have a beautiful 5 bed detached house , which they keep like a show house..

Whenever someone comments that they have a lovely home they get the same response

We have worked hard all our days to pay for this!!!!

I think its sooo bloody rude .. its like saying well if you worked as hard as we did you could have nice things too.

IntergalacticHussy · 28/01/2011 10:00

i know. i hate that phrase too. we all work bloody hard. all our lives, and it's all relative anyway.

I think i hate it the most when people use it as a justification for tax avoidance; or the impending abolition of the welfare state.

IntergalacticHussy · 28/01/2011 10:03

i also hate the phrase 'sitting on their arse'. We're all on the computer, therefore most of us are currently sitting on our arses. Does that make us all lazy?

Just because someone lives on a council estate and doesn't have paid employment, it doesn't make them lazy; they could have been up since 4am changing nappies or looking after an elderly relative or sick child. That's work. You don't know their circumstances so who are you to judge?

swanandduck · 28/01/2011 10:09

It depends on the context in which it's being said. I mean, if someone's being made redundant and says 'I've worked hard all my life and now I'm just being thrown on the scrap heap' I think it's perfectly okay.

I also think it's often a reaction to seeing people who have sponged off the state and never tried to get work getting everything handed to them on a plate. (And before everyone rushes on to tell me about decent people on benefits, I'm not talking about them, I mean the people who work the system.)

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