to think of wild punishments for 14 YO? I'm so angry

[pizzadelivery]

First time poster and AIBU is a really scarey place to start, however...

My son adds Microsoft points to his Xbox with permission and has always given me the cash (pocket money) and asked if he could use my card. Not a problem as he is usually a very responsible 14 year old (has Aspergers but not really relevant in this case).

I called the bank today to check the balance as it was less that I had expected at the cashpoint. Was told I had 2 card debits for £17 exactly , quite unusual so asked for more info. Both payments were for Microsoft points (2000 exactly)and the lady said it was probably a double payment and I could ask them to refund it. . Hold on don't remember him asking...

Asked her to go through other payments as this months statement will not come til beginning of Feb. He has used my card for £101 of Microsoft points since Jan 1st! Checked other things and he has also spent £69 in his Ipod in the same time period!

I am so I don't even want to talk to him. Have taken Xbox etc away and told him he won't be getting it back until he has paid all the money back. It equals about 1/5 of my wages (am a single parent).

There are no unauthorised payments before this, thank god

Am I being unreasonable to think of the worst punishent ever. Or do I stick with the traditional - go to school, do homework, reading, which he hates, jobs around the house and then bed? - until he has paid it all back with interest?! No point in grounding, he doesn't go out.

Also I realise I am a 'bad parent' for letting him access to my card, I didn't realise he knew the password and has been a really good trustworthy kid ...til now. Think I might actually be more upset that I can't trust him anymore rather than the money.

I found that mobile phone/internet restrictions are the most powerful tool a parent can have - mwahahahahahhahaha

I think that him not having it back til he has paid you back is not harsh at all.

Stealing is wrong and unless he gets some sort of consequence now, he may never learn that.

I think that your idea is fine, but I dont do "ah bless him, he didnt mean it and it was your fault for tempting him" bollocks! If you're old enough to do it, you are old enough to take the punishment!

Sell the xbox and his games, that'll give you back your money.

He can do a paper round to pay for a new one.

By just taking it away for a week he'll think a week without it is worth it for the money.

You might want check that his xbox live is not set to auto renew which is the default.

To remove your card from the account you have to phone up customer services. (0800 587 1102)

£118 is a huge amount to have spent in such a short time, do you know what it was spent on?

If you login to billing.microsoft.com

Enter your LIVE credentials
a.) Your LIVE email account
b.) Your password associated with the account

then you will be able to see exactly what was bought.

Is there any chance he was being bullied into buying things for others? You can't directly 'gift' content to others, but there are ways round it.

By the way I think a lengthy ban is the best punishment.

I think the extra jobs idea is good. It will help him 'earn' the money back.

There is a website called myjobchart.com which allows the parent to set tasks and the amount they earn when completed. That might be useful for keeping track of what he has done.

And the prepay card is a good idea for when he is allowed his x-box back. I think 3 months would be a good time.