to think anyone who has anything other than missionary style sex in the dark, once a month is a sick freak..

[welltodo]

Its just not right any other way!

Yay, well done!

Oh welltodo my DH suggested the same, I told him it's winter, poor darling, men and clothes!

I use my daughters reward chart for my husband. If he gets the jobs done and in good time he may just about get a 'treat'.

I must disgust you, have it with the light on every day

I cross my fingers when DP insists on doing 'it'. That way it does not count.

I do agree Welltodo.

I just wish my DH felt the same. He is disgusting with his requests for "relations" once a week, yes you saw that right, once a week! He even tries to get me to, you know, get on top!

walkin It's because of people like you that our men get funny ideas about experimenting in the boudoir. Stop your whorish ways immediately, after all you can't possibly enjoy his attentions so often!

Exactly Katie we really must not allow the filthy hags to give our DHs ideas.

Oh and as for having children, surely modern medicine has come up with a better way if doing it by now?

I only do it with the light on if I have my knitting bag with me, Heavens knows what I might see otherwise!

I like to put on my i-pod so I don't have to hear the noises he makes. Loving your top tip Ladyof about the knitting bag, so useful to have a pair of needles in your hands to jab him with if he goes over his alloted 43 seconds.

Tell him to put it in the cat if it bothers him that much.

I do hope you are remain wearing your winceyette victorian style floor length night gown, Welltodo.

To procreate naked once a month would be just beyond the pale imo.

you remain

random are

Ah yes katie

I enjoy listening to the dulcet tones of Sir Cliff Richard,
I know Cliff would never ever want to do 'it'

I bought a onesie Lizzylou so he has to scrabble around in the dark in a manner similar to removing giblets from a chicken.

Nakedness is not permitted, I will, during these colder months, go to bed dressed in my "Snuggie" (Fantastic garment!) so that there is little chance of DH catching a peek of my flower of womanhood. The darkness rule is in place to protect my eyes from spying his Winky-mouse.

Or you can always cut a holein a sheet like we've done. Good for keeping all sorts separate.

I will only let him do it if I can watch corrie at the same time or play on my phone.

aaah Sir Cliff.... I bet he would never dream of getting his "Winky-mouse" out uninvited. He would probably write you a letter and wait for an R.S.V.P. before attempting relations, such manners!

I have placed a "Where's Wally" poster on the ceiling, makes the monthly ordeal far more interesting.

I have purchased a nice chastity belt

for his 'thing'

YANBU. DH and I synchronise our Google calendars for Missionary Sex In The Dark nights. Both right and well-organised. Tis the only way.

I am sure cliffs winkimouse in entirely unobtrusive and polite too, I shan't imagine that he makes any messyness with his winkiemouse.