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AIBU?

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Original poster

Over-familiar Postman. Was I right to say something about it?

31 replies

BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 11:57

Our postman has always been friendly. Helpful friendly and also possibly a bit 'friendly'. Just a bit flirtatious in manner, slightly intense looks etc.

THe other day he gave me a packet that was too large for the letter box, then went back to his trolley on the pavement. The door was open and as I bent down to pick up the post that was on the mat, I distinctly heard him say 'Phwoar'. I glanced up and he was looking at me and smiling as he headed off.

I saw him this morning and raised it with him - polite but firm. He denied it and said that he was very offended that he had been accused of something.

I feel a bit ridiculous now, plus also a bit worried that we will never get another parcel again...

Was I right to tackle it ?

OP posts:
kayah · 26/01/2011 11:58

very right
he won't try again :)

bubblewrapped · 26/01/2011 11:58

What were you actually expecting him to say when you raised it with him..

TooPragmatic · 26/01/2011 11:59

you were right to bring it up.
on the other hand, you may not get any more post delivered!

onepieceoflollipop · 26/01/2011 12:01

I would have had a niggly feeling that it could have been a neighbour/passer by that made the comment - unseen by you - and he was smiling at that? Could that have been the case, if so then maybe he was genuinely offended?

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 12:02

I suspect you should have tackled it at the time.

I find (because this happens to me, like, constantly, yeah baby, still got it) that it works better for me to have an air of "flattered but no thanks" rather than school marmish displeasure. I know you shouldn't have to do anything at all but he is basically cruising for desperate housewives (!) and trying to sort the wheat from the chaff, so if its someone you want to maintain a "working relationship" with its sometimes easier to do the "oh if only I weren't married, never mind" thing and stay "friends" thank rebuff, humiliate, then be awkward forevermore.

But this is my experience, your personality or outlook may be completely different.

In the workplace, its different again and there are certain things that shouldn't be joked along or smoothed over, of course.

You were not being unreasonable to call him on it whichever way you felt comfortable with, really.

clevercloggs · 26/01/2011 12:02

i think you were precious tbh and now look very silly

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:03

I am fairly sure it wasn't anyone else. The house on one side is vacant, the other side are two women and very rarely seen and no-one was passing.

It was also 'in his voice' and coming from his direction!

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 26/01/2011 12:04

I would have looked up at the time and said fairly firmly "did you say something?" in a slightly put out/disdainful manner.

That way he would have been able to deny it or apologise. He would have then been very clear that you had heard him and you were not impressed.

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 12:05

Oh come on, of course it wasn't anyone else. He's been putting out feelers and he put out a final more obvious one just in case and he called it wrong, and made a dick of himself, and now he's denying it!

He's probably having it away with half your street. Does he look tired? Sweaty? Walk like a Thunderbird?

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:05

Agree should have tackled it at the time, but like all these sitations was rather Shock!

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 26/01/2011 12:06

You were right to comment but would have been better doing it at the time.

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 12:06

It might sound silly but I find if you put on a slightly maternal friendly but slightly condecending air with men who fancy you, they not only take the point that its not on and stop trying but they still find you approachable and friendly and you can still go on to develop a reasonable friendship of sorts which can be quite fulfilling for both, if you like them as a person anyway.

Does that make sense?

SecondRow · 26/01/2011 12:10

Why did he push post through the letterbox first, to land on the mat, if he was ringing the doorbell anyway to hand you the package? Hmm

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:15

Gah
This is the problem of not thinking quickly enough at the time....

Goes to wait by front door to appropriately snub passing postmen.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 26/01/2011 12:18

What were you actually expecting him to say when you raised it with him..

You raised it with him? Grin

All jokes aside, I wouldn't like this...and not just because my postman has a face like a biscuit.

It may have given you a red face, but you have challenged him and I doubt whether he will be saucy again.

(dances off to put on babydoll nighty, hoping to catch a passing tradesman)

BendyBob · 26/01/2011 12:22

This sounds like a script from a Carry On film.

Was anyone eating a pear at the time?Grin

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:23

It is not so much about bothering me, (although I think that I should be able to stand at my own front door a
at 9.30 am without dealing with this kind of nonsense) but more about the possibility of him overstepping the mark with someone younger, shyer and less confident.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 26/01/2011 12:25

Did he have a horse called Trigger?...who pulled the fastest milk-cart in the west?

Chil1234 · 26/01/2011 12:26

@Branchingout... oh don't dress this up as you being concerned for the young and vulnerable!! LOL! He was a being a cheeky chappy, Andy Gray style, and you should have given him a bit of verbal at the time and left it at that

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:26

Post man not milk man!

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 12:46

"Why did he push post through the letterbox first, to land on the mat, if he was ringing the doorbell anyway to hand you the package?"

Mine does this! I think its a postman strategy to get cleavage or ass perving opportunities!

Original poster
BranchingOut · 26/01/2011 12:48

Update: well, he just knocked on the door and again complained that I had offended him and that he would only deliver my parcels from the pavement in future to avoid any accusations...

I put my point of view that, although I was prepared to admit that I was mistaken, I felt that I needed to speak to him about it.

After a bit of too and fro he eventually said that maybe he had snorted at something funny happening on the radio at that moment. Hmm

We shook hands and agreed to forget the matter.

OP posts:
olderandwider · 26/01/2011 13:03

Priceless!

bupcakesandcunting · 26/01/2011 13:08

"he is basically cruising for desperate housewives"

Where is his round?

cubbie · 26/01/2011 13:46

Sorry to laugh but some of the posts have been funny e.g. about putting on transparent blouses etc!

You were right to pick him up and ideally, would have been better at the time, but how many of us can do that when we're shocked etc I can always think of the perfect thing to say later on!

I hope he's learned his lesson and goes back to being a pgood postie.

(ours is fab, chats to my 2DS, signs for parcels etc if I'm out. We make him Postman Pat cakes sometimes and I give him a card with £10 in it at Xmas, he always writes a nice thank you card.)

I feel like such a dog's dinner these days that I'd be delighted if anyone whistled at me haha! Seriously, don't mean to trivialise it, I certainly appreciate it was disconcerting and disrespectful. YANBU.