To report two infant age children walking to school alone

[ThePosieParker]

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

Posie has indeed been around a long time, and this isn't the first thread where she's called SS on a family for doing something totally normal that she disapproves of.

"we need more people who give a damn."

We need more people who don't use their supposed concern for children as an excuse to meddle in other people's business.

There is no need for personal insults.

If you cannot make a reasoned argument without insulting other posters, then you should not be on this thread.

Surely it's about proportionate response? If the OP had called the school to express concern / flag it up, most people would probably have though that was a reasonable response. By to call Social Services? Over something that a generation ago would have been seen as completely normal (and still IS seen as completely normal in many other European countries)???

"If ss don't consider it appropriate for an eight year old to be making her own breakfast then they sure as hell wouldn't consider it appropriate that an eight year old walk to school on their own."

WTF?! My kids have been making their own breakfast since around the age of 5/6! Because they wanted to and were perfectly capable.

An 8 year old is also perfectly capable of walking to school on their own, depending on local roads/distance etc.

That's just ridiculous.

Social Services are not the arbiters of what children should be allowed to do.

Parents are.

"People who give a damn" and their enjoyment of judging others and using their children as a way to get at them notwithstanding.

Someone on here linked to this, I think on Posie Parker's last SS thread:

it is very moving

Meddle? If in doubt, report it. How does anyone know what has gone before so to speak? Bit far fetched I know, but maybe SS are aware of this family and this is more evidence of concern?

I personally would have rung the school but then my school says that anything that happens in school is dealt with by the school and anything outside school is not their concern?

It's important to remember that many children of 5 or 6 are more intelligent than handbags.

At dd's school infants are not allowed to be released unless an adult or secondary school age child is collecting them, even then they prefer it to be an adult.

The infant school I work at is the same, as is the infant part of the primary I collect dd's friends from. If a child isn't accompanied by a grown up or a lot older sibling where I work we have to report it to the deputy head, who is responsible for overseeing safeguarding issues at school. She then follows it up.

Once at junior age, so y3 onwards, that stopsand children can walk home alone should their parents prefer.

Even back in the 70s where I grew up infant aged children didn't walk home from school alone tbh. Was generally middle school age, so y5, unless they lived really close by.

alt, I probably wouldn't have called ss either tbh.

But I do think it's a slippery slope when we (not you specifically but others on this thread have) start saying to people that it's none of anyone else's business how people parent their children. Because at what point do you draw that line, and surely there must be a line when what one considers normal parenting is, on the whole, potentially harmful?

I once started a thread on here (under a namechange) because a parent had told me that the only discipline her child listened to was to wash her child's mouth out with soap. She then went on to say that he'd hidden the bars of soap so she couldn't do it but she'd used shower gell instead.

There were plenty of people on that thread who said that it was none of my business and that clearly she's at the end of her tether and resorting to the only method that works for her family.

We all have our own limits as to what we consider is and isn't acceptable, and while I don't necessarily think that ringing ss is the answer I think it's perfectly reasonable to say "actually no, I don't think this is right, and I think someone should look out for those children." even if that means having a quiet word with the school.

Fact is that we rarely know the circumstances, but we have to judge based on the information we have to hand.

"If in doubt, report it."

If everyone thought like that we would have a very sick society.

"If ss don't consider it appropriate for an eight year old to be making her own breakfast then they sure as hell wouldn't consider it appropriate that an eight year old walk to school on their own."

Not sure how it's moved onto breakfast but why would it bu inappropriate for an 8y to make breakfast? Surely most 8y are capable of that. Dd is 8y and cooks meals most weeks, mostly by herself. She makes a mean moussaka and last week made a delicious meal of lamb with a Rosemary and port sauce, served with veg.

Not sure how the two are related or why ss would be involved with either tbh, at 8y, unless therewere other signs of something amiss.

Truly, if there's one thing I cannot abide it's a stickybeak hoiking her bosoms at the parenting choices of others, where there is no evidence of abuse or neglect at all....when it is simply the product of a great big dollop of disapproval.

The OP can dress it up as concern as much as she likes, but let's be honest - she disapproved.
That's fine - disapprove away....moan to your husband, shake your head and purse your lips and tut to your heart's content! Even if it IS none of your business. You can congratulate yourself on being a better mother than theirs and wear a chocolate medal all day long!

But to phone SS and get them involved? That's not on.

Wannabe - there is a big difference between strongly disaproving of other parents' choices and discussing that with them/their family/their HV and in getting SS involved.

I have been really pissed off, outraged even, at some parents' tactics. It has never even crossed my mind to call SS. I've tried to reason with them, or get them support.

However, if I thought there was abuse or serious neglect, I would not hesitate to call SS.

goingforit Tue 25-Jan-11 13:26:51
'Meddlesome crow or PosieParker - means the same thing @ LadyintheRadiator.

OP called herself it. Don't you think it means something.'

You're a little weird aren't you? Posy and Parker were two names I considered for my dd and I like them, thanks.

My eight yr old is average height, my seven yr old is teeny, 8 in may but wearing age 6, dd who is four wears age six too....ds3 is average. I am quite well placed to judge a child's age.

mloo.....Aren't you even a little pleased that someone gave a shit about your son?

x post McHobbes

great minds and all that

What did SS say?

My other SS thread? wtf?

It was a duty of care team and they said thank you.

Even back in the 70s where I grew up infant aged children didn't walk home from school alone tbh. Was generally middle school age, so y5, unless they lived really close by.
Hula funy that dh and I were talking only last night about how he got lost going home on his second day at school because his mum expected him to know the two mile walk back after showing him once. And I was saying how my little sister caught a regular bus to and from school unaccompanied from her first days at school so less than aged 5.