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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report two infant age children walking to school alone

566 replies

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 10:36

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 25/01/2011 18:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:36

If that woman didn't have issues her concern should make you happy.

And if you can't see the difference then i suggest you read again.

OP posts:
BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 18:36

I could say the same for you. Hmm

At least my posts are not made up consistent. No comment on why your timeline doesn't add up? I see you substitute a personal attack instead of an answer again.

LadyintheRadiator · 25/01/2011 18:36

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Deciduousblonde · 25/01/2011 18:36

That's what I thought Lady...but I could have been mistaken, read it wrong maybe?

imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 25/01/2011 18:37

So, Posie, I should be happy that a random woman phoned the police to report my DD1 out on her own?

Deciduousblonde · 25/01/2011 18:37

My god I feel like Paxman. Did you threaten to overrule him

Grin

Spat out my tea!!!

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:39

Honestly the incident this morning was a quick thing, not a premeditated line of attack, I acted impulsively. I should have waited for the school to answer, but I didn't. I hadn't realised that calling SS/Duty of care team/family unit was the most dreadful thing, I thought not saying anything was worse.

OP posts:
Mists · 25/01/2011 18:39

I have been on the end of of ridiculous referral to SS due to an accidental minor injury DD sustained. I was on the phone to her hospital (which subsequently reported me) within five minutes of it taking place and she was seen by a specialist in non-accidental injury at our local hospital within the hour. That doctor was perfectly satisfied, but the other hospital apparently had different rules (WTF? Surely there should be absolute consistency with regard to safeguarding?)

That week was the most stressful of my life. My DS had just been diagnosed with autism and we were preparing to move house. Luckily I had informed the school about DD and they reported no cause for concern also.

It was dropped with no further questions asked but I felt like a criminal when the initial response team person said, "well now you just hope you never hear from us again", as if I was guilty of something and had been granted reprieve!

Have you ever been subject to any sort of SS enquiry OP?

LadyintheRadiator · 25/01/2011 18:40

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BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 18:40

Like someone said above, sledgehammer/nut.

BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 18:42

No need for that, Lady, I can have an opinion as much as the next women, and I can say what I like.
You don't think it will feel personal to the mother getting a visit from social services? Hmm

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:42

imust....Yes you should, it is just as likely that your child looked vulnerable scared or a victim of neglect....or do those children have big signs on their foreheads? This person did not know you or your dd, she was concerned.....

Obviously yours is a rather special case with a woman trying to frighten you and your children, but anyone may have phoned.

OP posts:
imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 25/01/2011 18:43

I have to take DD2 to karate so I am not running off the thread.

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:44

When my children have been injured I have had calls from the HV, never the SS........

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ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:45

And we do have paedophiles here, there was a panorama a couple of years ago showing them watching school children whilst in a half way house. They stood on the local high street and in the local park.

OP posts:
imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 25/01/2011 18:46

Posie - she really was a nutter

And I do realise you're not, I'm not saying you're a nutter.

[bwink]

But I've been on the other side of it is all I'm saying and whatever the motives were, I felt attacked and violated as a parent.

LadyintheRadiator · 25/01/2011 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 18:48

And another thing, Lady, I'm not very confident in my choices, and even less so when there is interfering busybodies around who will call the Child Protection team if I do something she won't for her children. Thats the point here. We aren't supposed to make decisions for our own children, we're supposed to ask the OP if we are allowed....

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:48

But this isn't about the unlikely event of an abduction...

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ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:50

Buzz....seriously, this was about two small boys not being taken care of in a city, a not so nice area of the city, a busy road in a city.

OP posts:
BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 18:54

and I agree that calling the school would have been fine. But have you ever had the police and/or social workers knocking on your door to accuse you of being an unfit parent? If not, you don't know anything about it.

ThePosieParker · 25/01/2011 18:57

If they did I have nothing to fear, at all, and would not be intimidated.

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BuzzLightBeer · 25/01/2011 19:00

easy for you to say if you haven't been there.

wannaBe · 25/01/2011 19:05

madas you cannot suggest that people shouldn't take action because the child might be older than they look. If your child looks that young she will encounter things throughout her childhood, will probably be refused entry into pubs because she does not look eighteen etc, or should they perhaps not ask for ID just in case?

Let's just imagine for a second that the op saw these boys and said nothing. Then let's imagine that a thread pops up on mn next week, next month, that one of them has been killed while crossing behind a rubbish truck on a busy road. Let's then imagine the insuing thread which would certainly consist of the question as to "why on earth anyone thought it was ok to let such young children walk to/from school alone." And let's then imagine that the op from thiis thread posts "I saw those children walking to school just last week. I thought it was a bit dangerous but I figured the parents knew what they were doing and besides it's really none of my business.." Now imagine the responses she would get. Do you think they would be all "oh no, of course it was none of your business, it wasn't your place to get involved"? or perhaps they would be along the lines of "you saw two vulnerable children walking to school along a busy road and you did nothing? And now one of them is dead. Feel good does it?" Take your pick as to which way you think that thread would run. I've been on mn long enough to know how it would go...

It's a lot easier to say "mind your own business" because none of us wants to think of ourselves being on the receiving end of such a report to ss. But ultimately it's all our job to look out for children and those who might be vulnerable.

When I posted about the situation I mentioned further up, where a woman was washing her child's mouth out with soap, I was told that it was none of my business, that "you don't know the circumstances, you shouldn't judge..." yet it's when we don't judge that vulnerable people come to harm... and my thinking was that if she was prepared to admit to washing her child's mouth out with soap, what else does she do that she wouldn't be prepared to admit to.

How many children are killed/injured because people feel it's none of their business. How many people do you think heard baby p crying and did nothing?

Now I'm not in the least comparing these children to baby p, but it's a fact that all too often people consider child welfare to be none of their business. And as a result children come to harm every day..