To report two infant age children walking to school alone

[ThePosieParker]

... to the head of the school.

This morning I saw two siblings (I assume) walking to school alone, the oldest looked about yr2 at the most and the youngest a reception child. I wanted to phone the school as there could be a number of reasons these children are walking alone, not all sinister but in my mind none good enough,. This is Bristol, a busy city, not the place to allow children to cross roads and negotiate traffic and people at the age of 6 or below, surely.

No, apparently children are really difficult to judge, even if you have children 2,4,7 and 8 yourself....mystifying.

Let's say the children were freakishly small and that they were 15, I don't know that...I assume, being a mother and knowing many many children of primary school age, that they are between 4-7yrs.

I wasn't judging a parenting choice, I was concerned for children. Things that crossed my mind, very ill/disabled parent needing help, druggie/alcoholic, blatant neglect......whichever I couldn't leave it.

imust....Yes, I would phone them as soon as your dd left the house....

10/10 for a stupid question.

"freakishly small" how nice.

But I see your point about very young children walking to school by themselves. I have taught children of chemically-dependent parents who did just that. They walked along a busy road and then crossed with the lollipop man along with everyone else.

The underlying issues were being very well monitored by the HT, SS, SENCO as far as I could tell.

And the reporting children (I know it's just semantics) in the thread title makes me feel quite queasy.

Posie my point is that ANOTHER PARENT saw my DD walking into school in September and asked her if she liked P1. She said no she was P5. And the woman did not believe her.

So it is possible for a parent to misjudge the size of a child.

I sat in the car. I have a vomiting bug and we were going to collect her big sister from school. I parked the car outside the shop and she went in with the money to pay for drinks and a treat for herself.

BUT to someone who doesn't know her it looked like I sent a 4 year old into the shop on her own.

FWIW DD1 got the bus to and from school from the very start of P1. She got off and walked round the corner to my house within 2 weeks of starting to get the bus. She was a big girl and she wanted to.

I let her. I had a baby to deal with, and two older children, she was walking round the corner and my lovely neighbour accidentally walked his dogs at the same time.

I made a sensible rational parenting choice in both cases for my own children.

I would be fuming if anyone took it upon themselves to ring SS to report me.

I have four children. The eldest is 20. I haven't killed any of them yet

Posie - I think you did a well meaning thing today... lots of vipers in here today

Mists.I am 5', my Grannie 4'7", sister 4'9, mother 4'10......

This was two children, older , very young, sibling looking after another.....had it just been the older child I wouldn't have called anyone but thought it rather exceptional that such a young child was in cahrge of a younger sibling.

Gorge...that's not a very nice way to talk about someone's child.

Were you able to approach them, Posie?

Boobalina - do you mean me?

I am stunned and shocked that in this day and age, two children walking to school merits a call to SS

steady on Gorgeous. Thats a bit harsh.

Posie - maybe I missed this for which I apologise if I did but did you ask the children their names?

When you stopped to talk to them?

If mum is still that she can't get them to school herself she should make alternative arrangements to make sure they get to school safely, not just turf them out. Agree with the poster who said older child is too young to take responsibility for younger one. You wouldn't leave children that age home alone so why let them out on the streets alone. Personally I might have followed them to make sure regulations got there safely then pointed them out to a teacher. My children will not be walking to school themselves at that age & I don't live in a busy city. In fact is have my doubts if I lived on the same street. It's nice that adults look out for other children. It's what a civilised society should do.

ThePosieParker Why did you phone the S.S., then go home and post this thread, and spend the day on here? Why are you asking AIBU?

I'm not sure what your motives are.

Agree with all the posters who say you shouldn't have called SS, just the school.

Liz - my point is that unless Posie stopped and talked to the children she doesn't know what age they are.

My DD who is almost 9 is perfectly capable of looking after a younger child. But she looks 4. She's not.

And actually, I like giving her responsibility sometimes because she gets irritated and annoyed that people who don't know her treat her like a baby. And she's not a baby.

what about a y3 child and reception sibling walking to a village school, with one quiet lane to cross? if it is a journey they have done lots of times with an adult previously?
I was thinking of sending my dc if needs be come the better weather, but I'm beginning to wonder now. Y3 child has been to village centre independently a few times, just there and back.

She simply didnt have time to try them again though booge yet has time to MN about -it

yes interestingly if the op had said she knew people that left six and four year olds alone in the house there would be far more people that would agree this was wrong. And yet being left at home is surely far safer than being allowed out to cross busy main roads unaccompanied.

Gorgious I have reported your post - personal attacks are not permitted on mn..

I have also reported the post.

My DD1 when she was really young - like maybe actually 4 - used to get sent to the butchers shop in the wee village we lived in then. She had to cross a tiny road, which I saw her across, and then go 4 houses down.

She loved it. Dominic the butcher would always have a bit of banter with her, she would take money in her purse, and get whatever I asked for. Dominic would make sure she got across the road OK on the way home.

So - report me

I just cannot, for the life of me, understand why you didn't just wait until the school answered your call. That's why I'm wondering what on earth this is all about.

You rang S.S. when you could have gone to the school reception and voiced your concerns there and the receptionist would have either told you that they were older than you thought, or the school would have taken it further if they thought they needed to - because the school knows the children and you don't.

Then you spend the day on here asking if you are being unreasonable!

Bottom line - IF two very young children are walking to school alone and the school/SS get involved, and it is subsequently found that the children/their parents need help or whatever, then the OP has done a good thing.

IF it is found that they are in fact very very tiny teenagers, then no harm done.

FFS when Bad Things Happen, everyone jumps up and down going "Why was Nothing Done?? Why did Nobody Notice??"

But when people actually see something that makes them uncomfortable (rightly or wrongly), all of a sudden they're just being "nosy" or "Busybodies" and told to mind their own business!

Calling the school is on a different level to calling SS

IMHO

also, as op said that the school is not her children's school she has no relationship with the head and no idea whether the school would deal appropriately, esp if school in special measures there is no way of knowing why unless she went away and did some research...

If I noticed a child of that age walking unaccompanied to my ds' school I would ask the child who their teacher was and pop round and have a word. alternatively would pop into school and talk to the head/deputy.

Similarly if I saw a child walking unaccompanied to the other school that is local to me I would probably call the head and have a chat - I know her relatively well..

But if the school was unknown to me then tbh I'm not sure what I would do. If I didn't know the head then I'm not sure how comfortable I would be ringing and asking to speak to him, and I wouldn't feel right just talking to the office staff. Maybe I would speak to the head of our school in the hope that he knows the head of the other school, but alternatively if not knowing who to speak to then I might ring nspcc or ss for advice.