To be feeling more and more like shit every day.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Im going though the motions. Im shit. Im a freaky deformed person that cant do normal things. I try to put on a happy face and laugh and joke about myself but im getting nearer to fucking operation day and I cant hold it together much longer.

I'll be going through 10 hours of pain and God knows how many weeks of recovery just to be no different.

I have scoliosis. It's progressive. They are going to fuse it to stop it getting worse. they cant repair it though because of how my spinal cord has twisted.

I should be 5' 6" and im 5' 2" But I have the legs, these stupid ridiculously long legs and tiny little body. Like one of those childrens match-it puzzles with the wrong pieces in it.

I'm just a freak, I dont know why I bother. there's no point to me.

Sorry you've got to have a long operation. Being in pain all the time is a hard thing and it's no wonder you feel pretty low. You are not a freak. You have a lot to deal with and I bet, not a lot of time or headspace to sort it out. I imagine most of your friends and family would tell us you are lovely. They are rarely wrong.

You do have a pretty good shot at winning the brownie for the saddest case here!

I'd like to put my deformity forwards for consideration though....

I have cankles.

No operation can stop my calves and my ankles from joining in one thick, ungainly, unsightly trunk. Indeed if such an operation existed I'd have to have two - one for each cankle. I can't buy boots or anything that needs zipping up around the calf area. Oh and when I was pregnant my ankles swelled up so I looked like something from a freak show.

So there - do I get the brownie?

Original I hope everything goes well at the appt with the consultant.
I know a few people with scoliosis. Luckily most of the time it's rather mild. Fortunately curves as extreme as mine are not common. (they are usually caught early!)

Just looked at your profile, you are gorgeous and so are your children. Maybe they can be your 'point'?

I hope it all goes better than you think, your pain improves and you manage to see the 'the glass half full' again.

You are not a freak - what is that anyway??
You are not shit
You are beautiful - by the sounds of it, inside and out.

Do be kind to yourself.

i've peeked at your profile and you're lovely!! you all are!

Just looked at your profile, you look stunning!

I'm sorry you are in pain but please don't think you are a freak and no point to you!

Of course you feel like shit - you're in pain and about to undergo a major operation.

You're not a freak at all and if the op does change your appearance that makes absolutely no difference to the person you are.

I hope it all goes well for you - keep us updated.

ABF - you have a face to launch a thousand ships, adorable children and a gorgeous DH. I'm old enough to be your mum and never looked like you even when I was 27.

You are a lovely lady. I notice your posts on MN. You are worth so much, but I'm so sorry you've got this pain.

I wish I could offer some advice or help but all I can do is say I hope things get better and please know we are all rooting for you x

You think I'd put the bad photos on here?! Thanks everyone for the confidence boost.

(wont tell DH that someone said he was gorgeous, I'll have trouble getting his head through doors!)

You have feline eyes - in a good way

Also ABF I would say you are mn royalty, non? That's how I think of you anyway. Twisted spine or no. As long as you can accept my freakishly big nose and erm, 'unique' good looks, it doesn't matter.

LOL Maybe I should change name to amazingBouncingFeline?

Royalty? Neh I'm a nobdie.

I'm not surprised you are bricking it. Most people faced with 10 hours of surgery and weeks of recovery would be.

Anyhow- you are lovely, you love your kids and you have a slightly wicked sense of humour.

abf- she'll do it you know!

My son is disabled and some regard him as a freak. I love freaks, they are SO much more interesting than the non-freaks. You are probably not a freak but if you feel the urge, join the freaks. We need more freaks on this planet.

Sorry about the pain though - I imagine nothing seems good when you are constantly in pain.

I'm kinda scared now. Shiney knows everything. She probably has my address and everything on her spreadsheet.

you didn't have to pinch!

She is perfectly relatively normal. Very pretty too.