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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

kids free meals

87 replies

Kitsichick · 24/01/2011 19:26

AIBU to be surprised and upset?
In Morrisons this evening I treated myself to egg and chips and sauasages- it had been a b of a day. They have a deal where kids eat free for one adult price meal that is being bought. I don't have kids so was in there on my own. Standing just behind me in the quque was a lady and her (around) 8 year old daughter. Daughter said to Mum 'I'm hungry- can I please have some lasagne?'

Mum said 'No- I haven't got the money on me and anyway- I want to buy myself a cake. You can have some coke though'. I turned and said 'If you would like, I would be happy to order your daughter lasagne as I am buying a full price adult meal and might as well use the kids meal up too- I can't eat both!' (I said it to her very quietly while her daughter had run off to choose a coke)

She looked me up and down and then said 'Fxxx off you stuck up bitch!'
I said 'I take that as a no then' but I was really upset. Was I out of line unknowingly?
Is there some Mum etiquette I don't know about?

OP posts:

bicback · 24/01/2011 19:57

i was in dd's school reception area/office a while back and a young mum came in (she's a single mum) all hassled and REALLY loudly right infront of me was yelling how pissed off she was with the school for telling one of her kids that they couldnt' go on any school trips until their mum had paid the yearly 'donation' (they callit a donation even though you have to give it), anyway, there was noway i could miss this and felt a bit uncomfortable as it was a private matter but the mum didn't seem to care she was so angry, and tbh i didn't blame her, she was yelling to the school reception woman how she was on hard times and was struggling so coudln;t find the 20 quid etc. i thought long and hard about it as i SO wanted to say to the mother when i saw her on her own at a later date that i would be more than happy to give her the 20 quid but didn't as i knew she would either be really pleased and take it OR be really pissed off, depends which way you look at it, i would have udnerstood both reactions so i decided not to give it to her which is a real shame as i really wanted to, i've never spoken to her before but she seems a nice sort

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/01/2011 19:59

There is nothing wrong with being skint, working class, whatever. I'm all of those and manage to be a good person despite it

There is a LOT wrong with being 'common as muck' and carrying an aura of vileness....

Standards must be maintained

Hth

bubbleOseven · 24/01/2011 19:59

OK, I've changed my mind.

The OP did nothing wrong was just being kind. The other woman was unnecessarily rude. I agree with all of that.

I still think it's rude to comment on other peoples conversation though but that might just be because I spent the first 30 years of my life living in London.

JamieLeeCurtis · 24/01/2011 20:00

I live in London Bubble0 - It doesn't need to be like that.

Good on you for seeing the light < said in no-patronising way>

Original poster

Kitsichick · 24/01/2011 20:01

WHAT??? how does living in London affect anything ?? I lived in London!!! And I don't have that attitude.

OP posts:

lochnessmumster · 24/01/2011 20:01

I never doubted you bubbleO

clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 20:02

well how rude!

i remember when i offered an old gent a parking ticket i didnt need any more and he was so rude. I was absolutely taken aback, so can imagine how you would feelk [shock}

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 24/01/2011 20:02

blimey - what a rude women.

You can't Help but over hear conversations sometimes.

A simple - no thank you would have sufficed from her.

Many time in the Morrisons cafe (and in the aisles) queue I have "eavesdropped" on conversations and offered an answer to a question they had if I happened to know the answer and it was something related to their supermarket shop.

I've never had anything but a thank you, and sometimes an added bonus of a little chat with a starnger with us both leaving with a smile on our face.

Original poster

Kitsichick · 24/01/2011 20:04

Thanks everyone. It will be a while before I
a/go to the Gp's again
b/ditto Morrsions
c/eat sausage and chips as a treat again!

OP posts:

bubbleOseven · 24/01/2011 20:04

Awwwww you guys are making me blush stop it now

But back to the OP

I didn't realise she was having cake but not buying her dd anything!

BuzzLightBeer · 24/01/2011 20:04

Don't all start with the countries gone to hell in a handbasket shite though, its nothing new. Most people are perfectly nice, a few people are cunts. Always have been, always will be.

Sossiges · 24/01/2011 20:05

I would have punched her in the face and been dragged out screaming by the police, but that's just me

clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 20:05

anyway - you can have the last laugh OP cos you can rest assured you are better mannered and kinder than that cow is

JamieLeeCurtis · 24/01/2011 20:05

I'm a bit worried now. Sometimes when I'm in a shop and a person asks the assistant something and they don't know, I'll tell the person. Sometimes I'll offer my opinion on something (eeek!) - like someone buying a toy for their niece or something. Am an interfering caah. Or merely desperate for adult conversation. No one has ye told be to fuck off but it may only be a matter of time

SleepyCaz · 24/01/2011 20:06

That was snotty, bubble, charming that you'd have done the same

earwicga · 24/01/2011 20:07

bicback - I think that somebody could easily take offence under those circumstances - I probably would of tbh, but would of been very embarassed instead of rude. It would of been better to have anonymously sent in an envelope with the child's name on and the money. That way the mother would of received a receipt and possibly not queried it, or if she did then the school would say how they got the money. I also think that she was right to get pissed off about it - the amount of money it costs for free schooling is ridiculous.

hoovercraft · 24/01/2011 20:08

I think you were interfering

but she shouldnt have been so rude

hifi · 24/01/2011 20:08

yanbu. she was probably embarassed,its not exactly evesdropping if they are behind you. you have no choice but to hear. she was a rough old cow.

lochnessmumster · 24/01/2011 20:10

Although, on the whole eaves dropping thing' i was doing the painfull big shop with 3 year old and 10 month old, we were in the veg isle and my dd was trying to put a huge bag of sprouts in the trolley, she hates sprouts, i hate sprouts, we all hate bloody sprouts! Anyhoo. i was telling dd to put them back when do gooder to my right pipes up that i should let my dd buy them, she went on to explain in great detail the virtues of the humble sprout.
Silly old moo. Completely different from the op situation but sometimes responding to over heard conversations is totally inappropriate, no matter how well intentioned.

FabbyChic · 24/01/2011 20:11

What a lovely thought. Sorry you received such a nasty response. Not everybody is like that. You were just unlucky.

onceamai · 24/01/2011 20:12

When I organised an afterschool club at the DC's school there was a lovely lad whose mum had MH problems and a dad who did his best to do his best even though the couple were separated. The lad was top of the list, he always had a place (even though the queue started at 8am). A discussion never took place with anyone - his dad used to get the mum to sign the consent form - the money just got slipped in. No-one asked any questions.

woollyideas · 24/01/2011 20:12

Oh blimey. I had some time unexpired on my car parking ticket the other day and gave it to a couple I'd overheard saying they had no change for the machine.

Now I feel bad for eavesdropping even though I saved them a few quid...

bulby · 24/01/2011 20:13

Oh I hope you were a able to enjoy your sausage and chips, I'm getting all sad at the thought of you going for a little treat, trying to do a nice deed and then being made to feel horrible.

bicback · 24/01/2011 20:13

earwicga - i agree with you, that is why i decided not to approach her. it is just a shame, when i have been going through a tough time financially if someone had come up and offered to give me the 20 quid i would have been embarassed but also really grateful but you are right, i think i did the right thing not to, it was a genuine caring gesture on my part for the idea to have come into my head though. as for the school trip money, the thing stinks really as they say you don't have to give any money but they tell you your kid can't go if you don't, that is SO unfair for the kid that can't go and embarassing for the parent, anyway, ho hum

inkyfingers · 24/01/2011 20:18

So off you go to the doctor's and she's wedged behind the desk, just mention the lasagne was great.

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