... to start ranting when I see someone posts "title Ms = can't get or keep a man" on here?

[frgr]

Hmm.

Come on, tell me it's trivial and I should get over it.

I know, I know.

I quite like the fact women have many titles I am all 3 on different occassions...

I changed my name by deed poll to my partners surname and was given the choice of Ms or Miss.I chose Ms.We both wear rings,everyone still calls me Mrs !

I was under the impression that "Ms" was standard these days for professional women (without PhDs). But where I work now, I am very much in the minority as a Ms, which I find a little odd.

Jenai, i thought that too. it was certainly the case at previous places i've worked (although i've been here for about 5 or 6 years now)

and i do work with relatively older women, mostly in their late 40s, 50s (charity) so maybe that skews things

So if your DH's one get a gong I take it none of you will want to answer to Lady DH then? Slips away to practice curtsey just in case.

nope. Asfair they are all Ms Maiden name unless they are Dr Maiden name.

oncemai, can I just ask, do you think that your dh was pleased and proud to marry you? And if so, why did it have to be you that changed name and title?

Well chip, trouble is none of you know what my maiden name was and I'm guessing quite a few of you might have been glad to see the back of it. >>> >>>>>>>>>>>> ! At least the DH's is rather poshly and difficult to spellish English >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. Oh the poor children had we joined them together - bows head in horror!

Yes I think he was pleased to marry me and after 20 years still is.

YANBU.

If I have to use a title I'm a Ms, my Mum was a Ms, she was married, I'm married, that is irrelevant, my husband does not need to change his title to indicate his married status and nor do I.

Onceamai - erm, no, I wouldn't want to be Lady DH!

I didn't take DH's name although his family always put Mrs. DH on correspondence to me. I don't go any of the titles. Never really understood why I needed to. Just call me 'first name here'

onceamai, I'm happy to agree in your case that the "I didn't have a nice maiden name" reason might wash.

But 'Wifework' makes an interesting point - for all the women I've met in my life which claim this with a laugh, not once have I met a man in the same situation.

If all things are equal, why are there not as many men changing their names to their wives', based on the fact that their "maiden" (?) names were hard to spell/hard to pronounce/generally dislikable?

(Forgot to add ref. to the book I mentioned - it's the one by Susan Maushart.)

frgr - being 50 probably helps too

I think I'm a fraudulent Mrs.........but then I rarely use it usually the conversation goes something like this

"Mrs/MS (whatever I'm in the mood for) Gwen, I'll spell the surname for you......."

Me: "it's ok - just call me Gwen. If they do decide to use Mrs/Ms they're usually so busy tripping over themselves pronoucing it they have no time to wonder about my marital status

I took my exH's name when I married - well just because I did. No thought or rhyme or reason behind it. >>

However - I've made a concious choice NOT to go back to my maiden name (my dad's surname that is, not my mum's maiden name )......I shall stay mrs/ms unpronounceable until I curl up my toes.............

Baroque, I'm a fraudulent Mrs too, although in reality I'm a Miss through and through. I am single atm and have never being married.

My bank card says Mrs on it and I'm guessing the guy in the bank just presumed I was a Mrs when I opened the account due to my age. Although of course he must have thought someone as delightful as me must be married.

Something I think does need a mention, in the 60's and 70's when I was at school, I was the only child in the school at primary and class at secondary whose parents were divorced. It always felt embarassing, it always always needed explaining because questions were always asked. I wanted so much to be like everyone else and it was very important to me that we all had the same name and the DC felt secure. How times have changed.

Onceamai, I think you are right that times have changed.

I am in my thirties and have always been a Ms, as are all my professional female friends. Mrs would be incredibly unusual at work now, I think.

I am separated now and when DH and I split, my (soon to be) ex-MIL made a comment to the effect that 'she never understood why Scroobious didn't take DHs name. SHE was proud to be married to DH's father and to take his name'. Because of course if I had taken DH's name (he was very happy for me not to), our marriage wouldn't have failed.

Well... when I married I did the traditional thing, became Mrs Husbandsname (Mrs Annie Husbandsname mind you - I draw the line at adopting a man's forename). We are now divorced.

XBIL and XSIL hyphenated their surnames: Mr and Mrs Hername-Hisname. They are now divorced.

DB and SIL didn't change any names on marriage. SIL is still Miss Hername. DB thoroughly approves and indeed, was quite with me for being so old-fashioned and subjugated as to change mine. They are still (happily, last time I checked) married.

What's in a name? That which we call a Ms by any other name would stay as married. Or not, as the case may be.

I'm a Ms, have been since I was a young teenager. I absolutely hate being called Miss, I always pus Ms on forms and I still get post addressed as Miss . I never make a fuss though because I'm worried people will think IABU. This time next year I'll be a Dr so people will probably understand me wanting to be called by my proper title (and hopefully my university will get my bloody title right then!).

Rowgtfc72: I was bloody tempted to do the same thing! My DP has a much better name than me which also has the advantage of not being my father's name.

You know, even if a bloke has a name like Shittybotham, he'll still keep it! AND want a son to pass it on to!