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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to de-friend someone on Facebook...

80 replies

Honte · 24/01/2011 09:56

... because in every status update she makes some smug comment about her wonderful 'hubby'.

Issues I have with this:

  1. The word 'hubby' makes me retch.
  2. He is horrible to her a lot of the time.
OP posts:
clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 11:00

why do people say having a fab time at theatre/pictures/club/meal

obviously they arent cos they are faffing about with a mobile phone instead of enjoying the event and the company

MsKLo · 24/01/2011 11:02

That is quite sad - if her hubby is so horrible to her maybe you need to think a bit deeper why she feels the need to state how wonderful he is?

Maybe he bullies her into doing so?! Maybe it is her way if coping (by deluding herself)?

She sounds like a friend in need - yabu

MommyMayhem · 24/01/2011 11:03

Yeah, me too, CuriousMamma. And every day my DS does the funniest, cutest things but I wouldn't dream of posting them on FB because I am aware some of my friends are having problems ttc and I wouldn't want to upset them.

wheresmejumper · 24/01/2011 11:05

I have one of those as well "Sitting in front of a roaring fire with a mug of hot chocolate with my darling hubby -oh an he is whisking me to Paris tomorrow!!I am so lucky to have met such a wonderful man!"

I feel like saying "shove your hot chocolate up your hole will you and stop being so fricken smug!"

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:06

I know clevercloggs, I think it's so rude!

MommyMayhem I'm the same. One friend in particular is struggling with a teen so I don't want to post 'oh ds1 has just told me not to buy him any new school shoes until he grows out of them as he doesn't want me wasting money' When hers is causing chaos!

Mind you I was a bit shocked at the shoe statement. Although he does know I'm saving for his France trip but was still nice Smile Plus his shoes aren't small just a bit worn.

Gemsy83 · 24/01/2011 11:07

I have a friend like this on facebook who is always on about her wonderful gorgeous generous etc hubby yet to me is always going on about what an arse he is! Think its a case of wishful thinking at times when they do this!

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:07

Grin wheresmejumper. It's so tempting to take the piss. I try to do so subtly when I do Wink

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:08

Maybe these people are living a dual life? Fantasy FB and reality?

fedupofnamechanging · 24/01/2011 11:08

Grin@wheresmejumper

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:08

Maybe it's one of those games like Countrycrap and we just don't know about it? Wink

MsKLo · 24/01/2011 11:08

I think people should be allowed to put whatever they wanton their pages without having to worry what others think! If someone doesn't like an update that is not the posters problem

I see lots of updates that I think are quite silly but it's not up to me to feel anything about it as they have every right to post what they like on their pages without worrying what others think

If you don't like, hide it or don't be their mate. Accept people as they are and to say people need to worry that what they write might affect others is being so precious

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:09

Ooo did we hit a nerve MsKLo. You're not my smug mate are you? Shock Grin

MsKLo · 24/01/2011 11:11

I know quite a few people like that wheresmejumper but why let it bother you? Just laugh at the fact they need everyone to know how wonderful their life is and let them get on with it!

Original poster
Honte · 24/01/2011 11:12

It's all very well being sanctimonious about "accepting people" and all that MsKlo, but what exactly the point in Facebook if you don't think about how it will be received?

OP posts:
clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 11:12

agree MsKLo, thats why i hide all the twee ones, and delete all the ones who get on my tits

Curiousmama · 24/01/2011 11:13

It bothers people because smugness is quite ugly. It's nice to put lovely messages, updates etc... but when people constantly harp on about how 'fantastic' their lives are it's so so very boring. Sadly they don't see it.

MsKLo · 24/01/2011 11:13

Not at all, I don't do smug updates as i think they look silly and quite insecure but if my fb friends want to do smug updates why should I be bothered! They should be able to write what they like and being sooo bothered says a lot too!

Anniegetyourgun · 24/01/2011 11:19

They are able to write what they like. That's the whole point. The discussion here is what is the best way to deal with it if you don't particularly want to read it but don't want to upset your friend.

This does, of course, duck the central issue that Facebook is the work of the devil.

clevercloggs · 24/01/2011 11:21

makes me laugh when they say oooh i am sooo busy i cant cope, yet they have time to update fb every 30 secs!

deemented · 24/01/2011 11:22

I use FB to mainly moan about the manshapes ma, piss my sister off and keep in touch with family in Oz.

mutznutz · 24/01/2011 11:24

why do people say having a fab time at theatre/pictures/club/meal

obviously they arent cos they are faffing about with a mobile phone instead of enjoying the event and the company

So true clevercloggs...or they update to say 'I'm cuddling up to my child on the couch and reading them stories'...err some bloody story that must be when Mum's tapping away on her mobile phone letting the world know about it Hmm

noniks · 24/01/2011 11:24

I have a "friend" who is so smug it hurts on FB .
Pics of how "beautiful" her house looked at Xmas followed by comments fron her followers about how they could never be so clever and creative (how hard can it be when you don't have a job and kids out at school all day?)
ppics of stupid ridiculously expensive shoes she bought (I mean mortgage monthly payment prices)- and the followers coo appreciatively
Updates on how perfect dh is and how perfect life in general is..all the bloody time.....Nothing is ever ever wrong.
Makes Martha Stewart look like a sluttern.
and why do all these other women make do all this cooing and smarming - like she's sonething to aspire to.

Smug, smug, smug, all about image and appearances. I find it depressingly false. Specially as I know for a fact that her relationship is rubbish and dh is miserable. And you know where that leads...

MsKLo · 24/01/2011 11:25

Agreed that smugness is ugly but it also smacks of insecurity so just be glad you don't do it and leave the smug gits to it! I have a relative who had a 5 month old baby and every month since her birth has been away without baby and has a night nanny to get up with baby (by away I mean long holidays without her baby!) and she is always going on about her latest jaunt and posts photos of her new diamonds and things in her house - I think this is quite silly and a lot of things she does I dont agree with but it is her page and her choice to say what she wants and I can't defriend her as we are related!

People who constantly need to say how wonderful they are and their life make themselves look silly but that is their choice!

MommyMayhem · 24/01/2011 11:25

LOL @ mutsnutz Grin

wheresmejumper · 24/01/2011 11:27

Not at all msklo they should be allowed to write what they like and I should be allowed complain about it Wink

In all seriousness though, its not the ones who write something nice that happened in their day, its the ones that talk about their 'model' lives and constantly talk about how wonderful aforementioned hubby is-I cant help thinking she is trying to convince herself