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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be unsure about coffee shop etiquette?

96 replies

Kalypso · 24/01/2011 09:40

If two people enter a coffee shop, is it ever acceptable for the first person to sit at a free table while their friend orders, even if there are already people queuing who don't necessarily have a friend there to save them a table?

Depending on the size of the queue, I think it may be acceptable to claim a table beforehand when there are clearly enough tables for everybody, but what if table space happens to be very limited? Am I being unreasonable to think this is queue-jumping?

OP posts:

FanellaFidge · 24/01/2011 11:30

"In many chain coffee shops, there's nowhere to discreetly wait without getting in everybody's way."

Imagine. A waiting area to wait for your food.

MmeLindt · 24/01/2011 11:35

It is rude, but I do it because everyone else does and otherwise I would not get a seat.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 24/01/2011 11:39

warthog - then do what any sane person would do, put the pushchair by a table, sit the toddler at the table then go and order - it's pointless & dangerous to be juggling all three - and completely unnecessary.

It's not queue jumping - queue jumping would be if you walked to the front of the queue to order :) - sitting is well - sitting! It's the people who feel the need to clutter up the queue with all their kids, friends & grannys that cause the problem!

pooka · 24/01/2011 11:40

I loathe loathe loathe it when people bag tables before they've been served. Is just plain rude.

It also completely disrupts the flow of people though the coffee place if someone at the back of the queue has a table pre-nabbed. Then the people in front who have ordered have nowhere to sit while the people who haven't yet paid/ordered are making their minds up. Patently unfair.

Bathsheba · 24/01/2011 11:41

I can't believe that people DON'T know you shouldn't bag a table before you have got your food - most of the cafes I go to have big signs up that say so. Our M&S cafe 4 signs saying "Please purchase your items before reserving a table"...

I really frown upon it, and I often go with 3 children. They stay with me until I have paid and then go and sit down together.

lazylula · 24/01/2011 11:44

When we go to a local cafe my dad always takes the pram and finds a table, normally the same one as there is space nearby for the pram, I never really see it as a problem. Normally there is plenty of room for everyone.

MsSparkle · 24/01/2011 11:49

What if you went in with a friend, it was busy and they waited in the queue and you got a table. You then sat down at a free table and your friend was still at the back of the queue but you then saw someone wandering around with coffee on a tray looking for a table but there aren't any.

Would you A) give up your table or B) watch them circle the room only for them to have to wait until someone else has finished?

Imo, saving a table is ok if it's not really busy but if it is busy, usually by the time you have been served, other people have finished/lift making tables free. That doesn't work of course if people are saving tables 10 minutes before their friend is served.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 24/01/2011 11:57

Do you know I've never had an issue waiting in the queue to place my order/get my food with all 3 DS's in tow.

Obviously once we've ordered we'll go and sit down and wait (if necessary) for your food. But we don't do that until we've actually ordered/paid for the food.

LittleWhiteWolf · 24/01/2011 11:57

I would never have thought of this as a problem until I read peoples comments on here. Its never occurred to me that its "queue jumping".

But really it isn't queue jumping. If I sit down and my friend queues to be served, you still get your food/drinks first. If there's nowhere to sit then you're welcome to sit on our table if there's room. I don't see a big deal. Mind you I rarely use coffee shops and when I do I tend to get my coffee to go.
You know they have that option if the place is full up?

(Sorry, am extra shades of grumpy today with a stinking cold)

Tweetinat · 24/01/2011 11:58

Ohhh this really annoys me and I often harrumph about it quite loudly so that they 'offending parties' know that its out of order. The cafe in John Lewis Cambridge gets VERY busy on a Saturday - think 15 mins waiting in the queue just to order (!). When people go and reserve seats, that's 15mins that they're sat there without drinks, and the people who have just got theirs have to stand and wait around with hot cups and mugs (which IMO is more of a risk than the people waiting in the queue) until a table is free. It is because of people doing this, that it is so freaking busy. Drives me insane.

ivykaty44 · 24/01/2011 12:05

You can go and sit down - just as you would if their was table service in these places that make you queue.

I am lucky as in my local coffeee shop a lady/an comes to the table with a pad, notes an order of what you would like to drink and then goes away and prepares the drinsk and comes back and places the drinks on the table.

If I go to a place where they want my companion or I to do the waiteressing/waiter job - then I don't see why the cheepskate want us both to do that part of the job.

I shall make a mental note never to frequent M&S coffee shop it sounds hideous, thankfully never been so havn't come across job descriptions for customers

ivykaty44 · 24/01/2011 12:08

my dd1 used to work in a very tiny cafe - she encouraged people to "make friends" and sit together n tables of 4 where only one person was sat, she would sit another two people. they coudln't afford to lose the business and most people if asked will not mind sharing. Though people in cafes like JL I have seen wondering lost souls where there are at least 10 tables of 4 with 2 people sat at these tables - yet they never seem to have the gumption to ask to share

MsSparkle · 24/01/2011 12:08

"If I sit down and my friend queues to be served, you still get your food/drinks first. If there's nowhere to sit then you're welcome to sit on our table if there's room. I don't see a big deal."

You see it is someone saying "If there is nowhere to sit then you're welcome to sit on our table if there is room." that annoys me. There would be room if you weren't sat at a table with no drinks/food "saving" it

My answer to that would be "How very kind of you to let me sit at the table you are selfishly saving. Lucky me that there is room. How about you vacate this table, because that would be the conciderate thing to do as i have my drink here going cold whilst you friend has not even been served yet. How about you find a table when ypur friend has been served? Oh wait you won't be able to because others have saved tables too!"

Saving tables is fine if it's not busy but if the place is rammed and people with food and drink are trying to find seats, don't save one until your served. Unless you enjoy being selfish of course.

Myleetlepony · 24/01/2011 12:11

If I'm shopping with my best friend we will be loaded with bags by the time we go for coffee. Therefore, rather than struggle with trays, shopping and handbags one of us takes all the stuff we've accumulated and sits down, the other, with hands free, goes and gets the refreshments.
You can harrumh at me all you like, I don't think I'd notice.

ivykaty44 · 24/01/2011 12:11

but she isn't saving the table - she is saving a seat and the other two seats are free to sit on - so why not park your butt and have a chin wag - instead of wandering around like a choclate teapot

Myleetlepony · 24/01/2011 12:14

Now, hogging a table to use it as your home office - that is out of order. As is using it for a couple of hours reading with a cold latte in front of you. However, not everyone thinks like that because I read on another thread hear something along the lines of "can't you take your work to a coffee shop to get some peace?".

pascoe28 · 24/01/2011 12:17

It's rude - people should buy their coffee then find a table.

MsSparkle · 24/01/2011 12:21

"You can harrumh at me all you like, I don't think I'd notice"

Selfish people.

MsSparkle · 24/01/2011 12:25

What i might do one day if i go into a coffee shop that is busy is get my coffee, then if there are no tables but i spot someone "saving" a table for 2, go over and plonk myself down in their friends seat

What could you say? Your friend is still waiting to be served and i want a hot coffee!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 24/01/2011 12:32

I am loving this thread, it's a real insight into human nature....

igetmorelovefromthecat · 24/01/2011 12:36

I think it's fine and quite normal to go into a cafe and get a table before you order. My parents are certainly not rude people but this is how I was bought up - I was one of four so having a family of six standing in a queue would be a bit ridiculous.

If it wasn't the done thing, why would there be menus on the tables?

trice · 24/01/2011 12:39

I go to a lovely cafe where we sit down and they take our order and bring us our coffee. Much more civilised and a damn sight cheaper than the big chain joints.

Go independant. Get better service.

Bathsheba · 24/01/2011 12:41

igetmorelovefromthecat - I can't think of any "queue up and pay at the counter before you eat" type eateries that have menus on the table...

Macdonalds, Starbacks, M&S, Service Stations etc...

None of them (along with all the independant cafes I can think of at the moment that work on the self service model) have menus on the table...

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 24/01/2011 12:41

I think that table service places are different - obviously there you go and sit down and wait to order/have your order taken.

But in places where you have to queue and usually (unless it's something that has to be prepared for you) take your food to your table yourself I think you wait until you have your order before you sit.

IT screws up to the flow of movement from the tables imo

MsSparkle · 24/01/2011 12:44

I have to agree that independants are much better.

Aren't menus on the table in cafes where you go in, sit down and they come and take your order?

The places i think the op were refering to, or at least what i was refering to is places where you go in, queue up for your coffee and/or food, then go and sit down with it.

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