To think my sister is wrong?

[Grinandbareit]

Hi everyone,this is my first post, hope you will be able to give me some advice.

I am a health professional, and over the years have told my family many entertaining stories about my work.I have one sister and we are very close, she was a drama teacher but has not worked since having her first child, financially her and her husband are very comfortable. My sister has often said that we should write a comedy based on my job, as she loves writing but I have never been interested in doing this . Imagine my surprise when just before Christmas my parents let slip that my sister has submitted a script to the BBC and it has passed the first stage.

I feel totally betrayed by this, I know from what my parents said that one of the characters is closely based on my best friend and colleague , and that she would be recognisable, also from a professional point of view I feel embarrassed by the way she is portraying my profession .... Neither my sister or myself have changed our name when we married and it is an unusual surname so I would be easily linked to it. I realise that it may come to nothing and not be commissioned, but I feel angry with my sister for not telling me. I have yet to confront her about this ( Christmas ect) any advice on this would be very welcome, thanks.

I think she should've told you she was doing it, she obviously knew you wouldn't be happy or she wouldn't have hidden it.

Christ i would be crapping myself if i were you

im in the medical profession and as with all of my coleagues, could write a book BUT it would betray confidentiality unless done very very VERY carefully.

I would be having strong words, and demanding she withdraw the paperwork from the BBC.

Good luck.

You do need to tell your sister your concerns.

Maybe there will be someone directly at the BBC that you could tell.

FWIW, as far as I know, hundereds of potential programmes make it through the first stage, there is a very good chance nothing will come of it, but I know that won't help your feelings of betrayal.

Most things submitted don't get commissioned, but if it does get that far then you'd be within your rights to let the BBC legal department know that there are characters and events based on real people, they wouldn't pass that.

Firstly though I'd talk to her, read the script for yourself and see if she can alter it if it does indeed upset you. Explain to her that it could damage your career if too 'real'. I'm sure she'll be reasonable.

who do you want to play you though?

I don't know how the system works with regard to getting from submission stage to having something filmed, but as you say it might not even go ahead. Not sure if you could somehow veto it if it gets to a further stage, as they'll surely have to respect client confidentiality, and she may not have admitted it's based on real life people and events.

In the meantime, stop telling your family about your patients/clients, and she'll have nothing to write about - surely you are breaking confidentiality rules too, if you tell them so much detail?

She's a cock but it's a bit stable door, horse bolted to do anything about it now. She's not an idiot- presumably- and so would be aware that it will have consequences for you. She just didn't care.

Don't talk to your family about your work as they can't be trusted. Sad, but true.

Yes, she could have at least given you a heads-up...bit sneaky imo..just invite her out to lunch/drink/dinner/what ever and say WTF lady? you could have warned me!...then tell her your concerns..she may not even realise how you feel...

I'm also in medical profession and would be quite concerned if I was in your shoes. Obviously (being unsure your exact role) patient confidentiality is a BIG thing...I worked in A+E (currently working as nanny but starting work in a private hospital later this month). Yes there are 'good stories' about certain patients who attended A+E but there are also very rare, unique stories which people will realise is about them.

Did you actually TELL her you didn't want to do this? Or just shrug it off? I suggest talking to her, she may not realise how adamant you were against it.

I can assure you I have not broken patient confidentiality , no names or confidential details have been mentioned, but obviously my sister does know the names of my friends .

but can people recognise themselves?

My friend would defiantly be recognisable ,to anyone who knows her. I also feel bait angry that my parents did not tell me sooner or tell my sister that she should not do this.

"I can assure you I have not broken patient confidentiality"

If people can recognise themselves from what she has written, then you have been highly unprofessional.

I am not sure how the fact that your sister and her husband are financially comfortable has any bearing on this either.

If I was your best friend and colleague I would be extremely pissed off with you, not your sister... you! for supplying your sister with the information that she has used.

I mentioned the fact that my sister is fanatically comfortable because this is not something she needs to do for financial reasons, although obviously I would not wish to deny her a career.Maybe I did not make myself clear in my original post, I have told stories about my work in the most general terms , I am well aware of my professional responsibility, and would NEVER disclose personal information as this could have serious consequences for me, but is also morally wrong, As for my friend, well my sister has met her and has based her character on her personal impression of her, not on any thing I have said .I also had NO idea that my sister was seriously considering writing anything or I would have told her not too, the point is , she has without telling me so she must realise that I would be unhappy .

Financially not fanatically

What is stopping you from picking up the phone and calling her?

why don't you speak to your superiors?

i think you know you could be up shit creek for talking about work outside of work, and quite right too. i would hate to think that the medical profs we see have a chat and a laugh about us around the dinner table

OK, well, firstly you haven't read the script yet.

I think you should take a step back, tell your sister that you know she has written this, congratulate her - because heaven knows it's bloody hard to finish a script for TV and have it get anywhere at all, and then tell her that as it is based partly on material she has gleaned in conversation with you, you NEED to read it! Tell her that it's vitally important to you that there are no identifying details, and secondly vey important that she takes anything identifying out before the BBC legal dept get hold of it - if there are identifiable characters / incidents.

One of my bfs writes TV scripts and often uses aspects of my family life as research - but by the time fiction and numerous script editors have played their part it is unrecognisable.

I also know writers who have used thier entire family in barely disguised ways - and yet they don't seem to realise it when the series comes on!

Talk to your sister directly, know what you wnat and negotiate with her.

I dunno about that!!...and tbh I think everyone who works with the public chats about work and the people they meet experience in some form or another..it's called being human..

I am going to speak to her this week, I only found out just before Christmas and did not want to say anything then invade it caused an argument, since Christmas she has been I'll with flu so I felt it would be unfair to bring it up then . I love my sister very much and will find this difficult , that's why I posted here.

I'm not convinced she really has been sneaky has she? She has "often" mentioned you both working on it and you have never taken her up on that offer so she has gone ahead and done it herself?

Did you assume that something she was clearly very interested in doing would be dropped simply because you didn't wish to collaborate?

Did you ever spell out that you were not keen for the reasons that you are now concerned or did you simply say that you weren't interested in her idea - because if it was the latter I can totally understand why she then went ahead and did it without mentioning ot further.

Provided you have not, as ypu say, breached patient confidentiality you have nothing to worry about and should congratulate her on her sucess so far. It is quite an achievement and one she is right to be proud of.

I think it's unlikely that the OP have broken patient confidentiality unless individuals can be identified from the information directly.

For example, the fact that the OP may have mentioned that she saw a chap with a hoover nozzle up his bum would not be confidential information unless she said "and it was Mr Smith from No.69". Unless of course it was such a unique situation that somebody could be identified from it. Plenty of people have hoover nozzles inserted, I'm sure

You need to ask her what's in the script tho.

The point I am trying to make is, I am not at all worried about patient confidentiality being broken as I have never broken it myself.
What I don't like is the way my Sister is portraying my profession and I don't want this to reflect back to me. People are also being a bit unrealistic if they think no health professionals talk about their work just as a teacher or any other professional may do so.
The fact my sister hasn't mentioned it to me is wrong.

Well, you mention in your OP that you are "embarrassed by the way she is portraying my profession" - you don't actually know how she is portraying it because you haven't read it. YABU if you want to prevent your sister writing in general terms about your profession. She doesn't need your permission.

Even if she's loosely based a character on your friend, you don't know what that character is like until you're read the script.

I have not read the script,but my parents have told me what she is calling it and I am not happy with the title. The character of my friend is more than LOOSELY based,I realise that my sister does not require my permission to do anything but I think she should have consulted me as it is my job, in the same way I would have consulted her if I had written a script about a drama teacher working at an all girls school because I know nothing about it .