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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want this paedophile moved on?

40 replies

Meandlilg · 23/01/2011 16:53

He's someone I've known most of my life. Someone my daughter's known ALL her life and considers a family friend. He's just been convicted of serious child porn charges and got a 3-year community order, registered on the sex offenders' register for 5 years and yet HE'S STILL ALLOWED TO REMAIN IN HIS HOUSE 100 YARDS FROM THE PRIMARY SCHOOL that my daughter attends. The ONLY reason he escaped prison is because he's allegedly his 85-yr old mum's main carer, but I know for a fact that she cooks his tea and does his washing all the time. He lives next door to my mother and now he's been convicted, his bail conditions no longer apply and he can come and go as he likes.
Am I being unreasonable to want him disappeared?

OP posts:
eviscerateyourmemory · 23/01/2011 16:55
Hmm Disappeared?
Tortington · 23/01/2011 16:56

id rather he be near you than near my kids

i hope you an see the subtext to my glib comment

sayjay · 23/01/2011 16:56

to where?

Katey1010 · 23/01/2011 16:57

YANBU to feel scared and angry but at least you know who he is and where he is. Offenders have to live somewhere (unless we string them all up, which is not an option I favour). I would use this as an opportunity to train your DD to be careful and mindful. After all, this may not be the only person she will meet in her life who could be a problem to her.

CapsizeQueen · 23/01/2011 16:57

Even paedophiles have to live somewhere. Do you want him "stoned out of the village"?

The fact that you now know about him means you can protect your daughter. It's the unknown, un-caught ones you should be worrying about.

YouLittlePiggy · 23/01/2011 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 23/01/2011 16:58

I sympathise with you, any parent with children would feel uneasy about someone with this conviction and any reasonable person would be a bit concened about him living so near a school (though to be fair you could argue that if he has "freedom", it doesn't really matter where he lives as he could just go hang out near a school anyway)

Are you definitely a paedophile if you are in posession of child porn (by legal definition I mean) ?

LadyOfTheManor · 23/01/2011 16:59

I was going to echo everyone else; be thankful you know who and where he is.

None of us want convicts living next door to us, but we can't really make them homeless.

It's odd that he was put on the register for 5 years and not life?!

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 23/01/2011 17:00

It is perfectly understandable that you feel this way.

But the sad reality is that wherever he lived he would be near someone's child.

You are at least in the advantage of knowing that he is a possible danger and can ensure your dc are safe.

Original poster
Meandlilg · 23/01/2011 17:00

I just feel he got away with it all. He lied to us all and caused a LOT of problems. If he's her main carer, why doesn't he go and live with his mother?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 23/01/2011 17:00

Yes Lady of the manor I suppose that's why I asked my question, perhaps the "type" of porn he had or the context under which he had it or got it deemed him not to necessarily be an actual danger to children in terms of abuse happening in the future...

Original poster
Meandlilg · 23/01/2011 17:00

Also, I don't get how he's allowed to remain so close to the primary school.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 23/01/2011 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deardot · 23/01/2011 17:04

YANBU

If you know he is not his mothers carer then isn't there someone you could tell?

Of course he shouldn't live near a school. Why do they always live near schools?

Original poster
Meandlilg · 23/01/2011 17:04

Should also mention that many of the films and pictures he made were of 3-month old babies. The legal definition of 'made' is not what I originally thought, but is where he has pieced together a bunch of images and added a soundtrack, before passing it on.

OP posts:
deardot · 23/01/2011 17:05

That is horrible.

LadyOfTheManor · 23/01/2011 17:07

Perhaps it is because he didn't physically abuse a child as oppose to handling images of children?

I'm not too sure of the laws on child porn...

Original poster
Meandlilg · 23/01/2011 17:08

I have ended up on anti-depressants as a result of this. He was such a 'respectable' type and just the sort you would never suspect, although I guess they're all like that. Guess I just needed some sense knocking into me -thank you!

OP posts:
ChickensFlyingUnderTheRadar · 23/01/2011 17:10
MarniesMummy · 23/01/2011 17:11

Calm down OP.

In a few weeks when you've processed your thoughts and the initial anger has abated you'll set about figuring out how to keep your DC's safe and actually begin a dialogue with them about it which you may not otherwise done.

In that respect he's done you a favour and you know that he is a paedophile, as other posters have said it's the one's you don't know about that you should be worrying about.

ThePosieParker · 23/01/2011 17:11

Due to the impossibility of reforming paedophiles and the conviction for child porn images rarely stays at that level, I'd say stoning was a pretty good bet....or death.

My emotional self would do this, but on a societal level the convictions and controls on harmful adults is very very low. We chuck a kid in prison for three years for throwing a fire extinguisher and non custodial for child porn images....where's the justice?

nameymacnamechanger · 23/01/2011 17:12

My dad was found guilty of sexually abusing me and my step sister and he got 10 years on the register.

I sympathise with you OP but as others have said at least this one you know of, and as it seems to be common knowledge his every move will be watched by his neighbours i reckon.

It's the ones you don't know about I agree.

CockneySparra · 23/01/2011 17:13

Grim. He is a paedophile. Nasty man.

I completely empathise with you, OP, but as others have said, wherever he lives he will be among children.

nameymacnamechanger · 23/01/2011 17:13

I have to say I agree all paedophiles should disappeared stoned to death.

deardot · 23/01/2011 17:15

out of interest, if he had only child porn but not assaulted anyone, how did they find him?